SON, if thou set (put) thy peace in any person for thine own feeling and living together (with them) thou shalt be unstable and unpeaced (not at peace). But if thou have recourse to the truth living and abiding, the friend that goeth from thee or dieth from thee shall not make thee sorry. In me ought to stand the love of the friend and whoever seemeth good to thee and dear in this life is to be beloved for me.
Without me friendship is not worth and may not endure: and the love is not very true or pure that I couple not. Thou oughtest to be so dead from such affections of men be- loved, as in thee is; thou shouldest will to be without man's fellowship. The further that a man goeth from all earthly solace, the more he nigheth unto God. Also the more profoundly that a man goeth down into himself and waxeth vile to himself the higher he styeth (climbeth) up to God.
He that ascribeth any good to himself, he letteth (hindreth) the coming of the grace of God into him, for the grace of the Holy Ghost seeketh ever the meek heart. If thou couldest perfectly make thyself naught and void (empty) thyself from all love of creatures then should I well into thee with great grace. When thou lookest to creatures thine affection is withdrawn from the creator.
Learn in all things to overcome thyself for thy creator and thou shalt then be able to attain to the knowledge of God. How little ever it be that is beheld and loved inordi- 248 Thomas a Kempis nately, it tarrieth (keepeth men) from the highest love anddraweth (them) into wickedness.
CHAPTER XLVIII AGAINST VAIN AND SECULAR KNOWLEDGE SON, let not the fair and the subtle sayings of men move thee for the realm of God is not in word but in virtue. Take heed to my words the which set hearts afire and illuminate minds, bring in compunction and manifold consolations. Read never anything for thee to seem better taught or wiser. Study for mortification of sins and vices for that shall avail thee more than the knowledge of many hard questions. When thou hast read and known many things, it behoveth ever to have recourse to one principal thing.
I am he that teacheth man cunning and I grant to meek men more clear understanding than may be taught of man. He to whom I speak shall soon be wise for he shall greatly profit in spirit. Woe to them that inquire many curious things of men but of the way to serve me care but little. Time shall come when there shall appear the Master of masters, Christ Jesu, to hear the lesson of all angels, that is to search the consciences of all men: and then shall Jerusalem be searched with lanterns and then shall be open the hidils (secrets) of darkness and then shall arguments of tongues be at peace.
I it am that in a point lift up the meek soul so that he shall take (understand) my reasons of everlasting truth more than though he had studied ten years in schools. So I teach without noise of words, without confusion of opin- ions, without desire of honour, without fighting of argu- ments.
I it am that teach to despise earthly things, to be weary of things present, to seek heavenly things, to savour things everlasting, to flee honours, to suffer slanders, to put all The Imitation of Christ 249 whole trust in me and covet nothing outside me and above all things to love me burningly.
A certain man in loving me entirely learned godly things and spake marvels; he profited more in forsaking all things than in studying of subtleties. But to some I speak com- mon things, to some special, to some I appear surely in signs and figures, and to some I reveal mysteries in a great light.
There is one voice of the books but it informeth (men) not alike: for I am the teacher of truth within, searcher of the heart, understander of the thoughts, promoter of the works, dealing to every man as I deem worthy.
CHAPTER XLIX OF NOT ATTRACTING OUTWARD THINGS TO A MAN SON, in many things suppose thyself as dead upon the earth and one to whom all the world is crucified; and many things thou must pass over with a deaf ear and think rather on those things that belong unto thy peace. It is more profitable to turn away thine eye from things that displease and to leave to every man his own feeling than to strive with contentious words. If thou stand well with God and behold his judgment thou shalt bear it the more easily if thou be overcome.
O Lord whither are we come? Lo, temporal harm is sorrowed for, men labour and run for little getting and spiritual harm is forgotten and scarcely and late cometh to mind again. That that availeth little or naught is taken heed to and that that is sovereignly necessary is negligently passed over; for man floweth out all to outer things and unless he turn again soon, gladly he lieth and resteth in outer things.
CHAPTER L THAT IT IS NOT RIGHT TO BELIEVE ALL MEN AND OF LIGHT LAPSE OF WORDS LORD, give me help out of tribulation for man's help is vain. How oft have I not found faith and trust where I weened to have had it; how oft also have I found it where I least presumed. Vain therefore is trust of man but the help of righteous men is in thee, God. Blessed be thou, Lord my God, in all things that fall to us. We be sick and un- stable, soon changed and soon deceived.
Who is he that so warily and so circumspectly may keep him- self in all things but that some time he shall come into some deceit and some perplexity? But he that trusteth in thee Lord and seeketh thee with a simple heart, slideth not so lightly. And if he fall into any tribulation or be wrapped in any perplexity he shall soon be delivered thereof by thee or comforted by thee for thou shalt not forsake them that trust in thee to the end.
Seldom is found a trusty friend that is persevering (lasting) in all the necessities of his friend. So, Lord, in all things thou art most trusty and among all there is not such an- other. O how well knew that holy soul that said "My mind is settled in God and grounded in Christ." If it was so with me, dread of man should not so trouble me, nor the darts of words should not move me.
Who may see before and be ware of all things? If things fore- seen ofttimes hurt what then do things unforeseen but hurt grievously? But why did I not foresee better for my- self, wretch that I am? Also why believed I so lightly other men? But we are men and we are none other than frail men though we be deemed and called of other men as angels.
Whom shall I believe, Lord, whom but thee that art truth that deceivest not nor canst be deceived? And, on the The Imitation of Christ 251 other side, every man is a liar, sick, unstable and sliding and specially in words. So that scarce may be believed anon that that soundeth well and righteously in a man's ear.
How prudently warnedst thou men to be ware of men and that a man's familiar friends are his enemies and that it is not good to believe those who say "Lo there" and "lo here." I am taught, and would God (it led) to greater wariness and less folly in me.
"Be ware," said one, "be ware: keep to thyself that I say" and whiles I kept silence and weened it to be hid, he could not keep counsel of that he asked to be kept hid but anon discovered both me and him and went his way. From such fables and unwary men Lord defend me that I fall not into their hands nor do no such things.
Give to my mouth a true word and a stable and a false wily tongue put far from me. O how good and how peaceable a thing it is for a man not to speak of other men, nor in- differently to believe all things nor lightly to speak a thing forth; to reveal himself to few, yea evermore to be sought (looked on) as a beholder of the heart, and not to be borne about with every wind of words but to desire all things inwardly and outwardly after the good pleasure of thy will.
How sure a thing it is for the keeping of heavenly grace to flee from and not to desire such things that should give mat- ter for minding outwardly: but with all manner of busi- ness (care) to follow the things that make for amend- ment of life and fervour of spirit. O how many have been hurt by virtue known and praised and how wholesomely hath grace, kept under silence, availed men in this frail life that is all temptation and knighthood (service).
25? Thomas & Kempis CHAPTER LI OP TRUST TO BE HAD IN GOD AGAINST EVIL WORDS SON, stand steadfastly and trust in me: for what are words but words? they flee through the air but they hurt not a stone. If thou be guilty think that thou art going gladly to amend thyself. If thou know thyself guilty in nothing, think that thou wilt suffer all gladly for God. It is little enough that thou now and then shouldst suffer words who canst not yet suffer strong beatings.
And why takest thou so small things to heart, except that thou art fleshly and takest more heed to man than behoveth thee? And because thou dreadest to be despised thou wilt not be reproved for thine excesses and seekest the shad- ows of excuses. But behold thyself better and thou shalt know that yet the world liveth in thee and vain love of pleasing men.
But all the while that thou fleest (shunnest) to be rebuked and confounded for thy faults it appeareth verily that thou art not very meek, nor the world dead to thee, nor thou crucified to the world. But hear my word and thou shalt not charge (care for) ten thousand words of men. Lo if all things were said against thee that would mali- ciously be feigned against thee how should they annoy thee if thou wouldst suffer them utterly to pass and wouldest no more set by them than a straw? Whether may they take one hair out from thee?
But he that hath no heart within and hath not God before his eyes is soon moved with a word of blame. But he that trusteth in me and coveteth not to stand by his own judg- ment shall be without dread of man. Lo I am judge and knower of all secrets; I know how all things are done, I know the wrong-doer and the sufferer. Out from me went this word and by my sufferance this hath happened that the thoughts of many hearts might be revealed.
The Imitation of Christ 253 I shall judge the guilty and the innocent; but with a privy judgment, for I would prove both. Man's wits often fail and deceive but my judgment is true; wherefore it shall stand and shall not be subverted. It is hid ofttimes and is open to few in all things but it never erreth and it may not err, though to the eye of unwise men it appeareth not righteous; wherefore in every judgment recourse ought to be had to me and (men ought) not to lean to their own decision. For the righteous man shall not be sorry what- ever come to him from God; yea, though anything un- righteously be brought forth against him, he shall not much charge (care for) it; nor he shall not vainly rejoice if he be reasonably excused by others for he thinketh that I search the heart and the reins and that I judge not after the face and after man's appearance; for ofttimes in mine eyes that is found culpable which to the judgment of man seemeth laudable.
Lord God, righteous judge, mighty and patient, thou knowest man's frailty and man's shrewdness (perversity): be my strength and all my trust for my conscience sufnceth not for me. Thou knowest that I know not: and therefore I ought in every blame and reproof to meek myself and suffer mildly.
Merciful Lord, forgive me as oft as I have not done so; and give me grace of more large sufferance, for thy copious mercy is better to me for getting of indulgence than my fancied righteousness for the defence of my secret con* science. And though I find no guilt in my conscience yet in that may I not justify myself; for in thy sight no man living can be justified.
254 Thomas d, Kempis CHAPTER LII THAT ALL GRIEVOUS THINGS ARE TO BE SUFFERED FOR THE LIFE TO COME SON, let not the labours that thou hast taken upon thee for me make thee weary nor tribulations throw thee all down; but let my promise in every adventure strength thee and comfort thee. I am sufficient to reward above all manner and all measure. Thou shalt not labour long nor shalt ever be grieved with sorrows. Abide a little while and thou shalt see a swift end of all evils.
One hour shall come when all labour shall cease and all noise; little it is and short, all that passeth with time. Do that thou dost, labour truly in my vineyard; I shall be thy reward. Write, read, sing, mourn, keep silence, pray, suffer contrariousness manly; for everlasting life is worth all these and much more and much greater battles.
Peace shall come in one day known to our Lord, and of that time shall there be neither day nor night but light per- petual, infinite brightness, sovereign peace and sicker (sure) rest. Thou shalt not say then, Who shall deliver me from the body of this death, nor thou shalt not cry, Wo me for my dwelling here is overlong tarried; for death shall be thrown down headlong and health shall be with- out fauting (blemish), none anxiety, blissful pleasure, sweet company and pleasant to behold.
O if thou hadst seen the perpetual crowns of saints in heaven and in how much glory they joy now that sometimes in this world were deemed contemptible and as folk un- worthy to live, forsooth thou wouldst meek (humble) thyself unto the earth and wouldst rather be subject under all than to be above one; nor thou wouldst desire the merry days of this world but rather thou wouldst joy to suffer tribulation for God and wouldst take it as for a great gain to be accounted for naught among men.
The Imitation of Christ 255 O if these things tasted well to thee and entered into thine heart how durst thou once complain? Whether all labori- ous things ought not to be suffered for everlasting life? It is no little thing to win or to lose the kingdom of God. Lift up therefore thy visage unto heaven. Lo, I and all my saints with me which that in this world have had great battle, now they joy, now they be comforted, now they be sure, now they rest and in that end shall abide with me in the kingdom of my father.
CHAPTER LIII OF THE DAY OF ETERNITY AND THE ANGUISH OF THIS LIFE O THE most blissful dwelling place of that high city. O the most clear day of eternity which no night maketh dark but sovereign truth ever beshineth it; the day ever glad, ever sure and never changing state into the contrary. O would God that that day had once shined and all these temporal things had taken an end. And this day shineth to saints in a perpetual bright clearness but to pilgrims all afar and by a mirror.
The citizens of heaven know how joyous is that day; the exiled sons of Eve wail, so sorrowful is this day. The days of this time are little and evil, full of sorrow and an- guish; when man is defouled with many sins, tied with many passions, strained with many dreads, distant with many cares, distract with many curiosities, wrapped in many vanities, surrounded with many errors, broken with many labours, grieved with many temptations, made soft and weak with delights, tormented with need and poverty.
O when shall there be an end of all these evils? when shall I be delivered from the wretched thraldom of vices? when shall I, Lord, have mind on thee alone? when shall I at 256 Thomas a Kempls full be glad in thee? when shall I be without any impedi- ment in true liberty, without grievance of soul or body. When shall there be sad (settled) peace, peace undis- turbed and sure, peace within and without, peace firm on every side?
Good Jesu, when shall I stand to see thee? when shall I be- hold the glory of thy kingdom? when wilt thou be to me all in all? When shall I be with thee in thy kingdom that thou hast ordained to thy well beloved from everlasting? I am left poor and exile in the land of enemies where are daily battles and greatest misfortunes. Comfort mine exile, assuage my sorrow, for to thee suspireth all my de- sire; for all that the world offereth me as solace is to me an heavy burden.
I desire to enjoy thee inwardly but I cannot take thee. I desire to cleave to heavenly things but fleshly things and un- mortified passions depress me. I will in my mind be above all things, but in despite of myself I am constrained to be beneath. So I unhappy man fight with myself and am made grievous to myself while the spirit seeketh what is above and the flesh what is beneath. O what I suffer within while I think on heavenly things in my mind; the company of fleshly things cometh against me when I pray.
My God, be not far from me, decline not from thy servant in wrath. Lighten out in shining and waste them, send out thine arrows and thou shalt spill them and all the fan- tasies of the enemy shall be borne down. Gather together all my wits to thee, make me to forget all worldly things and grant me soon to cast away and despise all fantasies of vices.
fhou, truth eternal, succour me that no vanity may move me. Come heavenly sweetness and make to flee from thy visage all manner of impurity. Forgive me also and merci- fully forget as of ttimes as in my prayer I think on any other thing than thee. I acknowledge truly that I am wont to behave me there full distractedly and many times The Imitation oj Christ 257 I am not there where I stand or sit bodily but rather 1 am there where I am borne with my thoughts. Where my thought is, there am I; and where my thought is there I love. That thing cometh soon to mind that naturally please th or delighteth through use. Wherefore thou, truth, saidest openly "Where is thy treasure there is thine heart."
If I love heaven I am glad to think on heavenly things. If I love the world, I joy in the world's felicity and sorrow in the world's adversity. If I love the flesh I imagine ofttimes on such things as belong to the flesh. If I love the spirit, I have a delight to think on spiritual things. Whatever things that I love of them gladly I speak and hear and the images of such I bear to mine house.
But blissful is that man that, for the Lord, giveth all creatures licence to go their way, that doth violence to nature, that crucifieth the lusts of the flesh with the fervour of the spirit, that with a clear conscience he may offer to thee a pure prayer and be worthy to be present with the quire (choir) of angels, all earthly things excluded within and without.
CHAPTER LIV OF DESIRE OF EVERLASTING LIFE AND HOW GREAT THINGS ARE PROMISED TO FIGHTERS SON, when thou feelest the desire of everlasting bliss to be poured into thee from above, and thou desirest to go out of the tabernacle of the body, that thou mayst behold my clearness without shadow of changeableness, open thine heart and receive this holy inspiration with all manner of desire. Yield to the sovereign bounty most large thanks that doth with thee so worthily, visiteth mercifully, ex- citeth ardently, lifteth up mightily, lest thou with thine own weight slide down to earthly things.
For thou takest not this with thine own thought or thine own 258 Thomas & Kempis power but only by worthiness of the most high grace and of God's beholding thee that thou mayst profit the more in virtues and greater meekness and make thee ready for battles that are to come and cleave to me with all thine affection and that thou mayst study to serve me with a fervent will.
Son, of ttimes the fire burneth but without flame and smoke it styeth (riseth) never up. So the desires of some men are lift up to heavenly things and nevertheless they are not free from the temptation of fleshly affections; and there- fore they do not in all wise purely for the service of God in that they ask so desirously of God. And such is ofttime the desire that thou hast said should be so importunate, for that is not pure and perfect that is done for one's own profit.
Ask that thing that is not to thee delightful nor profitable but that that is to me acceptable and honourable; for if thou judge righteously thou oughtest to put mine ordinance before thy desire and prefer and follow it afore all things. For I have heard thy desire and thy manifold mournings.
Now thou wouldst be in the liberty of the glory of the sons of God; now the house everlasting delighteth thee and the heavenly country full of joy; but yet this hour is not come; there is yet another time, time of battle, time of labour and of proving. Thou desirest to be fulfilled with the most sovereign good; but thou canst not follow that now.
"I am" saith our Lord "abide me, till the kingdom of God come." As yet thou art to be proved on earth and to be exercised in many things. Consolation shall be given thee now and then but copious fulfilling is not granted. Be thou comforted therefore and be strong as well in doing as in suffering things contrary to nature.
It behoveth thee to be clothed in a new man and to be changed into another. It behoveth thee to do of ttimes that thou wouldest not do, and to forsake that thou wouldest do. That that pleaseth others shall cause profit, but that that The Imitation of Christ 259 pleaseth thyself shall not profit; what other men say shalj be heard, what thou sayest shall be accounted as naught, Other men shall ask and take: thou shalt ask and not get, Others shall be great in men's mouths; of thee men shall hold their peace. To others this or that shall be com- mitted; thou shalt be judged in nothing profitable. Wherefore kind (nature) shall some time be sorry and suffer great battle if thou in silence hear these things. In these and in many other like things the true servant of God is wont to be proved, how he may deny and break himself.
There is scarce any such thing which thou needest think of as to see and suffer such things as are contrary to thy will, specially when thou art commanded to do such things as seem to thee disconvenient and least profitable. And for thou darest not withstand the higher power set above thee under our Lord therefore it seemeth to thee hard to go at another man's beckoning and to leave all thine own feeling.
But, son, peisie (weigh) the fruit and the swift end of all these labours and the meed, great without measure; and then shalt thou have no grievance thereat but a mighty com- fort of patience. For this little will that thou forsakest freely thou shalt ever have thine own will in heaven. There thou shalt find whatever thou wilt and all that thou canst desire; there shall be plenty of all good with- out dread of losing or foregoing. There thy will, ever be- ing one with me, shall never covet strange things nor private.
There shall no man withstand thee, there shall no man com- plain on thee, no man shall let (hinder) thee, no man shall contrary thee, but all things desired shall be present together and shall refresh all thy desire and shall fill it to the highest. There shall I give glory and honour for shame and reproof, a pall of praise for mourning and In- stead of the lowest place a seat in the kingdom for ever. There shall appear the fruit of obedience, there the labour 260 Thomas d Kempis of penance and meek subjection shall be crowned glori- ously. Wherefore bow down thyself meekly under the hands of all and take no heed who said this or who com- manded this; but take care of this above all whether prelate or one less than thou or one even with thee ask any thing of thee or move (apply) any thing to thee, that thou take all as good and study to fulfil it with a pure will.
Let one seek this, another that; let one rejoice in this and one in that; let one be praised a thousand thousand times; but joy thou neither in this nor in that, but in contempt of thyself and in my well pleasing and honour. This is ever to be desired of thee but both by life and death let God be ever glorified in thee.
CHAPTER LV THAT THE DESOLATE MAN OUGHT TO OFFER HIMSELF INTO THE HANDS OF GOD LORD God, holy father, blessed mayst thou be now and ever- lastingly, for as thou wilt so it is done and that thou dost is good. Glad must thy servant be in thee and not in him- self nor in any other thing, for thou alone art true glad- ness, thou art mine hope and my crown, thou art my joy and my honour. What hath thy servant but what he hath taken of thee and that without merit of his own? All things are thine that thou hast given and that thou hast made.
I am poor and in labour from my youth up and my soul is oft- times sorry unto tears and some times it is troubled to- wards itself for encumbrance of passions. I desire the joy of peace; the peace of thy sons I ask that are fed of thee in the light of consolation. If thou give peace, if thou pour on me holy joy, the soul of thy servant shall be full of and devout in thy praise.
The Imitation of Christ a6i But if thou withdraw thyself as thou art wont to do full oft. he may not run the way of thy commandments; but rather his knees are bound to knock his breast; for it is not with him as it was yesterday and the other day when thy lantern shined upon his head and he was defended under the shadow of thy wings from temptations falling upon him. Righteous father and ever to be praised, the hour is come that thy servant may be proved. Lovely father, it is worthy that this hour thy servant should suffer somewhat for thee. Father perpetually to be hon- oured, let thy servant live inwardly (the inner life) ever before thee whom thou knowest from the beginning to be such that he should for a little time fall outwardly (in the outer life).
For a little time let him be set little by, be meeked (humbled) and fail afore men, let him be broken with passions and languors, that he may rise again with thee in the morrow tide of a new light and be made bright in heavenly things. Holy father, thou hast so ordained and willed and that is done that thou hast commanded, for this is thy grace to thy friend in this world to suffer and to be troubled for thy love, how oft and at whose hand soever thou sufferest it to be done.
Without thy counsel and thy prudence and without cause is nothing done on earth. Good is it for me, Lord, that thou hast meeked (humbled) me, that I may learn thy laws and cast away elation of heart and presumption. It is profitable to me that shame and confusion have covered my face that I may require thee to be my comfort rather than men. I have learned hereby to dread thine inscruta- ble judgments that painest (punishest) the righteous man with the wicked, but not without righteousness and equity.
Lord I thank thee that thou hast not spared my evils (sins) but that thou hast bruised me with beatings, putting sorrows into me and sending anguish unto me within and 262 Thomas & Kempis without. There is none that may comfort me of all that are under heaven but thou my Lord God the heavenly leech of souls that smitest and healest, that leadest to the lowest places and bringest from thence again. Thy disci- pline is upon me and thy rod she shall teach me.
Lo, well beloved father, I am in thine hands. I incline me under the rod of thy correction, smite my back and my neck so that I may bow my crookedness to thy will. Make me a meek disciple, as thou art wont to do, that I may go entirely at thy beckoning. To thee I commit me and all mine, to correct; for it is better to be chastised here than in time coming. Thou knowest all things and every thing and nothing in man's conscience is hid from thee. Thou knowest things to come ere they be done, nor is there need that man teach thee or admonish thee of those things that are done on earth.
Thou knowest what is expedient for my profit and how much tribulation is needed to purge the rust of my vices. Do with me thy desired will and despise not my sinful life to none better known nor clearer than to thee alone. Grant me, Lord, to know all that is to be known and to love all that is to be loved and to praise all that sov- ereignly please th thee; to have in reputation that that appeareth precious to thee and to blame that is foul in thine eyes.
Suffer me not to judge after the sight of the outward eyes, nor give sentence after the hearing of ears of unlearned men, but to discern in a true judgment both of things visible and spiritual and above all things ever to inquire after the will of thy pleasure. Men's wits are of ttimes deceived in judging; as lovers of this world are of ttimes blinded in loving only things visible.
What is a man the better therefore that he is accounted greater of man? The deceivable beguileth the deceivable, the vain the vain, the blind the blind, the sick the sick whiles he lif teth him up, and truly conf oundeth him more The Imitation of Christ whiles he vainly praiseth him. For what any man is in thine eyes, Lord, so much he is and no more, as saith meek Francis.
CHAPTER LVI THAT MAN MUST GIVE HIMSELF TO LOW WORKS WHEN HIGH WORKS FAIL SON, thou mayst not always stand in the most fervent desire of virtue, nor abide stedfastly in the highest degree of contemplation; but thou hast need now and then because of original corruption to descend to lower things and bear the burden of this corruptible life against thy will and with weariness. As long as thou bearest a mortal body thou shalt find heaviness and grievance of heart. It be- hoveth thee therefore ofttimes in the flesh to wail under the burdens of the flesh inasmuch as thou mayst not without ceasing cleave to spiritual studies and divine contemplation.
Then it is speedful to thee to draw thyself to meek and out- ward works and to take recreation in good active occu- pations abiding my coming and the high visitation with a stedfast trust and to suffer patiently thine exile and dryness of soul till thou be visited anew and delivered from all anxieties; for I shall make thee to forget thy labours and enjoy inward quiet: I shall open before thee the meadows of the scriptures that thou with a heart may run the way of my commandments: and then thou shalt say "the sufferings of this time are not worthy to the glory that shall be revealed in us."
CHAPTER LVII THAT MAN SHOULD ACCOUNT HIMSELF WORTHY OF NO CONSOLATION LORD I am not worthy of any consolation nor of any spiritual visitation, and therefore thou dost righteously with me when thou forsakest me, needy and desolate. For if I could pour out tears like the sea, yet were I not worthy of thy consolation. Wherefore I am nothing more worthy than to be scourged and punished for I have ofttimes offended thee and forsaken thee greatly in many things. Wherefore, true reason peised (being weighed) I am not worthy the least consolation.
But thou gracious and merciful Lord that wilt not that thy works should perish and wilt show the riches of thy good- ness in the vessels of mercy above all our merit, vouchsafe to comfort thy servant above all man's measure; for thy consolations are not as man's talkings or what have I done, Lord, that thou shouldst give me any heavenly consolation? I have no remembrance of any good that I have done but the very truth is that I have been ever ready and prone to vices and slow to amendment the which I can not deny. If I would say otherwise thou wouldst stand against me and there would no man defend me.
What have I deserved for my sins but hell and everlasting fire? I acknowledge in truth that I am worthy of all manner of scorning and despite nor it sitteth (suiteth) me not to be numbered among thy devout servants. And though I bear not this easily nevertheless for truth's sake I shall against myself reprove my sins that I may the more easily get thy mercy. What shall I say, a guilty man and full of all confusion? I have no words to speak but only this word: I have sinned, Lord, I have sinned: have mercy on me, forgive me. Suffer me a little while that I The Imitation of Christ 265 may wail my sorrow or ever I go to the dark land cov- ered with the darkness of death.
What requirest thou most of the guilty and the wretched sin- ner but that he be converted and meek (humble) himself for his sins? In true contrition and meekness of heart is brought forth hope of forgiveness, the troubled conscience is reconciled, grace lost is repaired, man is defended from wrath that is to come and God and the meek soul meet in a holy kiss. Contrition for sin is to the Lord an accept- able sacrifice, smelling much sweeter than any sweet in- cense. This is also that acceptable ointment that thou wouldst should be poured upon thy most holy feet; for thou hast never despised the contrite and the meeked (humbled) heart. There is the place of refuge from the visage of the wrath of the enemy; there is amended and washen away all that is contract and defouled elsewhere.
CHAPTER LVIII THAT GRACE IS NOT PART OF THEM THAT FOLLOW EARTHLY THINGS SON, my grace is precious, suffereth not itself to be mingled with strange things nor earthly consolations. Wherefore it behoveth thee to cast away impediments to grace if thou wilt to receive the inpouring thereof. Ask for thy- self a secret place, love to dwell alone with thyself, seek confabulation of none other; but rather put out to God a devout prayer that thou mayst have a devout mind and a pure conscience. Deem all the world as naught; put the vacation to (readiness for) God before all other things for thou canst not both take heed to me and delight thee in things transitory.
It behoveth thee to be eloyned (distant) from known and dear friends and keep thy mind private from all temporal 266 Thomas a Kempis solace. So beseecheth the blessed apostle Peter that all true Christian men should hold themselves in this world as strangers and pilgrims. O how great confidence shall be to the man that shall die whom affection for no earthly thing withholdeth in this world. But thus to have the heart departed from all things, a sick and a weak soul cannot understand it nor doth the beastly (natural) man know the liberty of the inward man.
Nevertheless if one would be very spiritual, it behoveth him to renounce both them that be afar and them that are nigh and of none so much to be ware as of himself. If thou overcome thyself perfectly thou shalt the more lightly put under foot all other things. It is perfect victory for a man to overcome himself. If any keep himself so under that sensuality obeys reason and reason me in all things he shall be a true victor of himself and lord of the world.
If thou desire to stie (step) up to the height of perfection thou must begin manly and set the axe to the root that thou mayst root up and destroy all inordinate affection to thyself and to all private and material good. On this vice that a man loveth himself too inordinately hangs every thing almost that is groundly (utterly) to be over- come; the which evil overcome and put under forthwith there shall be great peace and tranquillity.
But few there are that labour perfectly to die to themselves and do not fully stretch themselves beyond themselves; therefore they remain implicated and encumbered in themselves that they may not be lift up in spirit above themselves. Whoso that desireth freely to walk with me if behoveth him that he mortify all his shrewd (evil) and inordinate affections and that he cleave to no creature lustfully with any private love.
The Imitation of Christ 267 CHAPTER LIX OF DIVERSE MOVINGS OF NATURE AND OF GRACE