tegulam illum in Italia nullam relicturum. "Tene igitur socio?" Contra mehercule meum iudicium et contra omnium antiquorum auctoritatem, nec tam ut illa adiuvem, quam ut haec ne videam, cupio discedere. Noli enim putare tolerabiles horum insanias nec unius modi fore. Etsi quid te horum fugit, legibus, iudicibus, iudiciis senatu sublato libidines, audacias, sumptus, egestates tot egentissimorum hominum nec privatas posse res nec rem publicam sustinere? Abeamus igitur inde qualibet navigatione; etsi id quidem, ut tibi videbitur, * * * * * Page 205 do I wish to be associated with such a man? Believe me I follow gratitude, not a cause [and I did in the case of Milo and in...But enough of this.] "Then the cause is not good?" Yes, the best in the world; but remember it will be handled in the most disgraceful way. The first plan is to throttle Rome and Italy and starve them, then to lay waste and burn the country, and not to keep hands off the riches of the wealthy. But, since I have the same fears on Caesar's side too, if it were not for favours on the other side, I should think it better to stay in Rome and suffer what comes. But so bounden do I consider myself to Pompey that I cannot endure to risk the charge of ingratitude. But you have said all that can be said for that course too.
About my triumph I agree with you. I can throw it away willingly and with ease. I am delighted with your remark that it may be, while I am considering, "the chance to sail" may arise. "Yes," you say, "if only Pompey is firm enough." He is more firm than I imagined. In him you may be confident. I promise you, if he succeeds, he will not leave a tile in Italy. "Will you help him, then?" By heaven, against my own judgement and against all the lessons of the past I desire to depart, not so much that I may help Pompey, as that I may not see what is being done here. For please do not think that the madness of these parties will be endurable or of one kind. However, it is obvious to you that when laws, juries, courts and Senate are abolished, neither private nor public resources will be able to bear up against the lusts, daring, extravagance and necessity of so many needy men. So let me depart on any kind of voyage: be it whatever you will, only let me depart.
* * * * * Page 206 sed certe abeamus. Sciemus enim, id quod exspectas, quid Brundisi actum sit.
Bonis viris quod ais probari, quae adhuc fecerimus, scirique ab iis nos non profectos, valde gaudeo, si est nunc ullus gaudendi locus. De Lentulo investigabo diligentius. Id mandavi Philotimo, homini forti ac nimium optimati.
Extremum est, ut tibi argumentum ad scribendum fortasse iam desit. Nec enim alia de re nunc ulla scribi potest, et de hac quid iam amplius inveniri potest? Sed, quoniam et ingenium suppeditat (dico mehercule, ut sentio) et amor, quo et meum ingenium incitatur, perge, ut facis, et scribe, quantum potes.
In Epirum quod me non invitas, comitem non molestum, subirascor. Sed vale. Nam, ut tibi ambulandum, ungendum, sic mihi dormiendum. Etenim litterae tuae mihi somnum attulerunt.
VIIa BALBUS ET OPPIUS S. D. M. CICERONI.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Romae VI aut V Id. Mart. a. 705_] Nedum hominum humilium, ut nos sumus, sed etiam amplissimorum virorum consilia ex eventu, non ex voluntate a plerisque probari solent. Tamen freti tua humanitate, quod verissimum nobis videbitur, de eo, quod ad nos scripsisti, tibi consilium dabimus. Quod si non fuerit prudens, at certe ab optima fide et optimo animo proficiscetur.
Nos, si id, quod nostro iudicio Caesarem facere * * * * * Page 207 For I shall know the news you are waiting for, what has happened at Brundisium.
If, as you say, my conduct hitherto has been approved by the loyal party and they are aware I have not gone away, I am very glad indeed, if now there is any place for gladness. As for Lentulus I will make more careful inquiries. I have entrusted the matter to Philotimus, a man of courage and excessive loyalty.
The last thing I have to say is, that perhaps you lack a theme for your letters--for one can write on no other topic, and what more can be said on this? But since there is plenty of ability in you (and upon my soul I speak as I feel) and affection which also spurs my own wit, go on as you are doing and write as much as you can.
I am rather annoyed that you do not invite me as your guest to Epirus when you know I should give you no trouble. But good-bye. You want your walk and perfumery and I want my sleep: for your letter has induced sleep.
VIIa BALBUS AND OPPIUS TO M. CICERO, GREETING.
Advice--even the advice of distinguished persons, let alone nobodies like ourselves--is generally judged by results and not by intentions.
However, relying on your kindness of heart, we will give you the soundest advice we can on the point about which you wrote, and, even if its wisdom may be doubted, there will be no doubt that it springs from good faith and good feeling.
If we had heard from Caesar's own lips that he * * * * * Page 208 oportere existimamus, ut, simul Romam venerit, agat de reconciliatione gratiae suae et Pompei, id eum facturum ex ipso cognovissemus, deberemus[87] te hortari, ut velles iis rebus interesse, quo facilius et maiore cum dignitate per te, qui utrique es coniunctus, res tota confieret, aut, si ex contrario putaremus Caesarem id non facturum, et etiam velle cum Pompeio bellum gerere sciremus, numquam tibi suaderemus, contra hominem optime de te meritum arma ferres, sicuti te semper oravimus, ne contra Caesarem pugnares. Sed, cum etiam nunc, quid facturus Caesar sit, magis opinari quam scire possimus,[88] non possumus nisi hoc, non videri eam tuam esse dignitatem neque fidem omnibus cognitam, ut contra alterutrum, cum utrique sis maxime necessarius, arma feras, et hoc non dubitamus quin Caesar pro sua humanitate maxime sit probaturus. Nos tamen, si tibi videbitur, ad Caesarem scribemus, ut nos certiores faciat, quid hac re acturus sit. A quo si erit nobis rescriptum, statim, quae sentiemus, ad te scribemus, et tibi fidem faciemus nos ea suadere, quae nobis videntur tuae dignitati, non Caesaris actioni esse utilissima, et hoc Caesarem pro sua indulgentia in suos probaturum putamus.
VIIb BALBUS CICERONI IMP. SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Romae V aut IV Id. Mart. a. 705_] S. V. B. Posteaquam litteras communes cum Oppio ad te dedi, ab Caesare epistulam accepi, cuius exemplum * * * * * Page 209 was going to do, what in our opinion he ought to do, as soon as he reaches Rome, that is to say try to effect a reconciliation with Pompey, we should feel it our duty to exhort you to take part in the negotiations, as the whole thing could most easily and with the greatest dignity be carried through by you, who have ties with both parties. If on the contrary we thought Caesar was not going to follow that course, and knew that he even wished to wage war with Pompey, we should never advise you to bear arms against a man who has done you such good service, just as we have always begged you not to fight against Caesar. But, since Caesar's intentions are still mere guesswork, we can only say that it does not seem consonant with your dignity or your well-known sense of honour to bear arms against either of them, as you are intimate with both: and we have no doubt that Caesar will be generous enough to approve of this course. If you wish it, however, we will write to Caesar to ascertain his intentions in this matter. If he sends us an answer, we will let you know our opinion at once, and convince you that we are giving the advice which seems to us to be best for your dignity, not for Caesar's policy, and, such is Caesar's consideration for his friends, that we feel sure he will approve of such a course.
VIIb BALBUS TO CICERO, THE IMPERATOR, GREETING.
I hope you are well.[89] After sending you a letter in conjunction with Oppius I had a note from Caesar, of which I am forwarding a copy. From it you can [89] The letters _S.V.B._ stand for _si vales bene (est)_.
* * * * * Page 210 tibi misi. Ex quibus perspicere poteris, quam cupiat concordiam suam et Pompei reconciliare, et quam remotus sit ab omni crudelitate; quod eum sentire, ut debeo, valde gaudeo. De te et tua fide et pietate idem mehercule, mi Cicero, sentio quod tu, non posse tuam famam et officium sustinere, ut contra eum arma feras, a quo tantum beneficium te accepisse praedices. Caesarem hoc idem probaturum exploratum pro singulari eius humanitate habeo, eique cumulatissime satis facturum te certo scio, cum nullam partem belli contra cum suscipias neque socius eius adversariis fueris. Atque hoc non solum in te, tali et tanto viro, satis habebit, sed etiam mihi ipse sua concessit voluntate, ne in iis castris essem, quae contra Lentulum aut Pompeium futura essent, quorum beneficia maxima haberem, sibique satis esse dixit, si togatus urbana officia sibi praestitissem, quae etiam illis, si vellem, praestare possem. Itaque nunc Romae omnia negotia Lentuli procuro, sustineo, meumque officium, fidem, pietatem iis praesto. Sed mehercule rursus iam abiectam compositionis spem non desperatissimam esse puto, quoniam Caesar est ea mente, quam optare debemus.
Hac re mihi placet, si tibi videtur, te ad eum scribere et ab eo praesidium petere, ut petiisti a Pompeio me quidem adprobante temporibus Milonianis. Praestabo, si Caesarem bene novi, eum prius tuae dignitatis quam suae utilitatis rationem habiturum.
Haec quam prudenter tibi scribam, nescio, sed illud * * * * * Page 211 see how eager he is for a reconciliation between himself and Pompey, and how far removed all cruelty is from his thoughts: and I am, as in duty bound, very glad that he takes that view. As for yourself and your honour, and loyalty to your friends, I give you my word, my dear Cicero, that I think as you do, that your reputation and your duty will not admit of your bearing arms against a man, from whom you acknowledge that you have received such favours. I have not the slightest doubt that Caesar with his extraordinary kindness will agree, and that you will satisfy him abundantly, by taking no part against him in the war and not siding with his opponents. And this he will count sufficient not only in the case of so important a personage as yourself, but even to me of his own free will he has granted the same permission not to enter a camp which would be opposed to Lentulus and Pompey, to whom I am under great obligations: and he has said he is quite satisfied, if I should perform peaceful civic functions for him, which I am at liberty to perform for them too, if I wish. So I am acting now as Lentulus' deputy at Rome and carrying out his business, fulfilling my duty and maintaining my honour and loyalty to them. But really, though I had given up hope of peace, I am no longer in despair of it, since Caesar is in the mood in which we would wish him to be.
Under the circumstances I see no objection, if you think fit, to your writing and asking for his protection, as you did for Pompey's, with my approval, at Milo's trial. If I know anything of Caesar, I will guarantee that he will consider your dignity more than his own advantage.
How far the advice I am sending may be right, I * * * * * Page 212 certe scio, me ab singulari amore ac benevolentia, quaecumque scribo, tibi scribere, quod te (ita incolumi Caesare moriar!) tanti facio, ut paucos aeque ac te caros habeam. De hac re cum aliquid constitueris, velim mihi scribas. Nam non mediocriter laboro, utrique, ut vis, tuam benevolentiam praestare possis, quam mehercule te praestaturum confide.
Fac valeas.
VIIc CAESAR OPPIO, CORNELIO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in itinere paulo ante ep. 7 B._] Gaudeo mehercule vos significare litteris, quam valde probetis ea, quae apud Corfinium sunt gesta. Consilio vestro utar lubenter, et hoc lubentius, quod mea sponte facere constitueram, ut quam lenissimum me praeberem et Pompeium darem operam ut reconciliarem. Temptemus, hoc modo si possimus omnium voluntates recuperare et diuturna victoria uti, quoniam reliqui crudelitate odium effugere non potuerunt neque victoriam diutius tenere praeter unum L. Sullam, quem imitaturus non sum. Haec nova sit ratio vincendi, ut misericordia et liberalitate nos muniamus. Id quem ad modum fieri possit, non nulla mi in mentem veniunt, et multa reperiri possunt. De his rebus rogo vos ut cogitationem suscipiatis.
N. Magium, Pompei praefectum, deprehendi. Scilicet meo instituto usus sum et eum statim missum * * * * * Page 213 do not know; but one thing I do know, that, in sending what I am sending to you, I am actuated by more than ordinary affection and goodwill. Though I am ready to die for Caesar's sake, there are few that I esteem as highly as I esteem you. When you have made up your mind on the point, I should like you to let me know, for I am much concerned that you should be able to show your goodwill to both parties, as you desire: and I have not the faintest doubt that you will. Take care of your health.
VIIc CAESAR TO OPPIUS AND CORNELIUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _On the road, shortly before 7 B._] I am very glad to hear from your letters how strongly you approve of what happened at Corfinium. I shall follow your advice with pleasure--with all the more pleasure, because I had myself made up my mind to act with the greatest moderation, and to do my best to effect a reconciliation with Pompey. Let us see if by moderation we can win all hearts and secure a lasting victory, since by cruelty others have been unable to escape from hatred and to maintain their victory for any length of time except L. Sulla, whose example I do not intend to follow. This is a new way of conquering, to strengthen one's position by kindness and generosity. As to how this can be done, some ideas have occurred to me and many more can be found. I should like you to turn some attention to the matter.
I have taken N. Magius, a praefect of Pompey. Of course I kept to my policy and set him free at once.
* * * * * Page 214 feci. Iam duo praefecti fabrum Pompei in meam potestatem venerunt et a me missi sunt. Si volent grati esse, debebunt Pompeium hortari, ut malit mihi esse amicus quam iis, qui et illi et mihi semper fuerunt inimicissimi; quorum artificiis effectum est, ut res publica in hunc statum perveniret.
VIII CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Formiano prid. Id. Mart. a. 705_] Cenantibus II Idus nobis, ac noctu quidem,, Statius a te epistulam brevem attulit. De L. Torquato quod quaeris, non modo Lucius, sed etiam Aulus profectus est, alter multos.[90] De Reatinorum corona quod scribis, moleste fero in agro Sabino sementem fieri proscriptionis.
Senatores multos esse Romae nos quoque audieramus. Ecquid potes dicere, cur exierint? In his locis opinio est coniectura magis quam nuntio aut litteris Caesarem Formiis a. d. XI Kal. Apriles fore. Hic ego vellem habere Homeri illam Minervam simulatam Mentori, cui dicerem: Μέντορ, πῶς τ' ἄρ' ἴω, πῶς τ' ἂρ προσπτύξομαι αὐτόν; Nullam rem umquam difficiliorem cogitavi, sed cogito tamen nec ero ut in malis imparatus. Sed cura, ut valeas. Puto enim diem tuum heri fuisse.
[90] _For the unintelligible_ alter multos _Reid suggests_ ante multo; _Purser_ alter duos aliquos dies abest, alter multos.
* * * * * Page 215 So now two of Pompey's praefects of engineers have fallen into my hands and I have set them free. If they have any gratitude, they ought to exhort Pompey to prefer my friendship to that of men who were always the bitterest enemies both to him and to me. It is their machinations that have brought the State into its present plight.
VIII CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: Odyssey iii, 22] As I was dining on the 14th, and indeed after nightfall, Statius brought a short letter from you. For your query about L. Torquatus, not only Lucius but also Aulus has gone [the former some two days],[91] the latter a long time ago. For your news about the sale of prisoners at Reate, I am sorry that the seeds of a proscription should be sown in the Sabine district. That many members of the House are at Rome, I also have heard. Can you give any reason why they ever left it? Here there is an idea based on guesswork rather than message or dispatch that Caesar will be at Formiae on March the 22nd. I wish I could have here Homer's Minerva disguised as Mentor, that I might say to her, "Mentor, how shall I go, and how shall I welcome him, pray?" I have never had a more difficult step to think of. But I think of it nevertheless: nor shall I be unprepared, so far as the evil days permit. Take care of yourself, for I fancy yesterday was the day for your fever.
[91] Adopting Purser's suggestion.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Formiano XVI K. Apr. a. 705_] Tres epistulas tuas accepi postridie Idus. Erant autem IIII, III, pridie Idus datae. Igitur antiquissimae cuique primum respondebo.
Adsentio tibi, ut in Formiano potissimum commorer, etiam de supero mari, temptaboque,[92] ut antea ad te scripsi, ecquonam modo possim voluntate eius nullam rei publicae partem attingere. Quod laudas, quia oblivisci me scripsi ante facta et delicta nostri amici, ego vero ita facio. Quin ea ipsa, quae a te commemorantur, secus ab eo in me ipsum facta esse non memini. Tanto plus apud me valere beneficii gratiam quam iniuriae dolorem volo. Faciamus igitur, ut censes, colligamusque nos. Σοφιστεύω enim, simul ut rus decurro, atque in decursu θέσεις meas commentari non desino. Sed sunt quaedam earum perdifficiles ad iudicandum. De optimatibus sit sane ita, ut vis; sed nosti illud Διονύσιος ἐν Κορίνθω.
Titini filius apud Caesarem est. Quod autem quasi vereri videris, ne mihi tua consilia displiceant, me vero nihil delectat aliud nisi consilium et litterae tuae. Quare fac, ut ostendis, ne destiteris ad me, quicquid tibi in mentem venerit, scribere. Mihi nihil potest esse gratius.
Venio ad alteram nunc epistulam. Recte non credis de numero militum; ipso dimidio plus scripsit * * * * * Page 217 IX CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I got three letters from you on the 16th. They were dated the 12th, 13th and 14th. So I will take the earliest first. I agree with you that it is best for me to stay at Formiae. I also agree about the Adriatic.
But as I wrote you before, I will strive to discover how I may be able with Caesar's goodwill to keep quite clear of politics. You praise me for saying that I forget Pompey's former misdeeds and ill-doings, but it is a fact. Nay, those very actions you call to mind, in which he did harm to me myself, have no place in my memory. I am so determined to feel gratitude for his kindness rather than resentment for injuries.
Let me act then as you decree, and pull myself together. For I philosophize as I walk about my estate, and in my perambulations I do not cease to ponder my themes. But some of them are very difficult to decide. As for the loyalists, let it be as you wish. You know the old saying "Dionysius in Corinth."[93] [93] Dionysius, when expelled from the throne of Syracuse, fled to Corinth and according to some authorities set up a school there. But whether the saying here mentioned refers merely to his exile and means "There are ups and downs in life," or to his schoolmastering, as Jeans suggests, referring to a passage in _Tusc._ III, 27, where Cicero says Dionysius took to schoolmastering because he wished to tyrannize over somebody, is uncertain. If the latter, it would mean that the _optimates_ would ill-use Cicero again as soon as they got the power.
Titinius' son is with Caesar. You seem to fear that your advice irks me; but nothing indeed pleases me except your counsel and your letters.
So do as you promise. Do not omit to write to me anything that comes into your mind; for nothing can delight me more.
I turn now to your next letter. You are right not * * * * * Page 218 Clodia. Falsum etiam de corruptis navibus. Quod consules laudas, ego quoque animum laudo, sed consilium reprehendo; dispersu enim illorum actio de pace sublata est, quam quidem ego meditabar. Itaque postea Demetri librum de concordia tibi remisi et Philotimo dedi. Nec vero dubito, quin exitiosum bellum impendeat; cuius initium ducetur a fame. Et me tamen doleo non interesse huic bello! In quo tanta vis sceleris futura est, ut, cum parentes non alere nefarium sit, nostri principes antiquissimam et sanctissimam parentem, patriam, fame necandam putent. Atque hoc non opinione timeo, sed interfui sermonibus.
Omnis haec classis Alexandria, Colchis, Tyro, Sidone, Arado, Cypro, Pamphylia, Lycia, Rhodo, Chio, Byzantio, Lesbo, Zmyrna, Mileto, Coo ad intercludendos commeatus Italiae et ad occupandas frumentarias provincias comparatur. At quam veniet iratus! et iis quidem maxime, qui eum maxime salvum volebant, quasi relictus ab iis, quos reliquit.
Itaque mihi dubitanti, quid me facere par sit, permagnum pondus adfert benevolentia erga illum; qua dempta perire melius esset in patria quam patriam servando evertere. De septemtrione plane ita est. Metuo, * * * * * Page 219 to believe the reports about the number of Pompey's soldiers.
Clodia's letter made them just double. It was untrue also about the destruction of the vessels. You praise the consuls; so do I praise their courage, but I blame their policy. Their departure has destroyed the negotiations for peace, the very thing which I was contemplating.
So after that I returned you Demetrius' book on Concord and gave it to Philotimus. And I have no doubt a disastrous war is imminent, which will be ushered in by famine. And here I am lamenting that I have no hand in the war, a war which will be so criminal, that though it is wicked not to support one's parents, yet our chiefs will not hesitate to destroy by starvation their country, that most reverend and holiest of parents! And my fears are not based on mere surmise. I have heard their talk. All this fleet from Alexandria, Colchis, Tyre, Sidon, Aradus, Cyprus, Pamphylia, Lycia, Rhodes, Chius, Byzantium, Lesbos, Smyrna, Miletus, Cos, is being got ready to cut off the supplies of Italy and to blockade the grain-producing provinces. And how angry Pompey will be when he comes, particularly with those who particularly desire his safety, as if he were abandoned by those whom he has abandoned! So in my doubt what I ought to do, I am greatly swayed by my good feeling towards Pompey. Without that it were better to perish in my country, than to destroy my country by saving it. As to the north wind, it is clearly as you write. I fear Epirus * * * * * Page 220 ne vexetur Epirus; sed quem tu locum Graeciae non direptum iri putas? Praedicat enim palam et militibus ostendit se largitione ipsa superiorem quam hunc fore. Illud me praeclare admones, cum illum videro, ne nimis indulgenter, et ut cum gravitate potius loquar. Plane sic faciendum. Arpinum, cum eum convenero, cogito, ne forte aut absim, cum veniet, aut cursem huc illuc via deterrima. Bibulum, ut scribis, audio venisse et redisse pridie Idus.
Philotimum, ut ais in epistula tertia, exspectabas. At ille Idibus a me profectus est. Eo serius ad tuam illam epistulam, cui ego statim rescripseram, redditae sunt meae litterae. De Domitio, ut scibis, ita opinor esse, ut et in Cosano sit, et consilium eius ignoretur.
Iste omnium turpissimus et sordidissimus, qui consularia comitia a praetore ait haberi posse, est idem, qui semper in re publica fuit.
Itaque nimirum hoc illud est, quod Caesar scribit in ea epistula, cuius exemplum ad te misi, se velle uti "consilio" meo (age, esto; hoc commune est), "gratia" (ineptum id quidem, sed, puto, hoc simulat ad quasdam senatorum sententias), "dignitate" (fortasse sententiae consularis). Illud extremum est: "ope omnium rerum." Id ego suspicari coepi tum ex tuis litteris aut hoc ipsum esse aut non multo secus. Nam permagni eius interest rem ad interregnum non venire. Id adsequitur, si per praetorem consules creantur. Nos autem in libris * * * * * Page 221 may be harassed, but do you suppose there is any part of Greece that will not be robbed? Pompey openly declares and shows his men that he will be more liberal even than Caesar in largesse. You do well to advise me, when I see Caesar, not to be too complacent, and to speak rather with dignity. Clearly I must do so. I am thinking of going to Arpinum after I have met him; for I do not want to be absent on his arrival, or to have to travel to and fro in the wretched condition of the roads. I hear, as you write, that Bibulus came and went back on the 14th.
[Sidenote: Iliad iv, 182] You say in your third letter that you were awaiting Philotimus. He set out from me on the 15th. That was why my reply to your letter, which I wrote immediately, was late in reaching you. I think you are right about Domitius, that he is in his place at Cosa; but what his plan is, is not known. That disgraceful mean blackguard M. Lepidus, who says that the consular elections may be held by a praetor, is playing his old part in politics. So that was the meaning of the passage in Caesar's letter of which I sent you a copy, that he wanted to enjoy my "advice" (well, that is a general expression), my "influence" (that is flattery, but I suppose he affects to want it with a view to the votes of certain senators), my "position" (perhaps he means my vote as an ex-consul). His last phrase is "help in every way." I have begun to suspect from your letter that that is the point, or something very like it. For it is highly important to him that there should not be an interregnum. That point is attained, if consuls are created by a praetor. But in our state books it is set down that it is illegal not only for * * * * * Page 222 habemus non modo consules a praetore, sed ne praetores quidem creari ius esse, idque factum esse numquam; consules eo non esse ius, quod maius imperium a minore rogari non sit ius, praetores autem, quod ita rogentur, ut collegae consulibus sint, quorum est maius imperium.
Aberit non longe, quin hoc a me decerni velit neque sit contentus Galba, Scaevola, Cassio, Antonio: Τότε μοι χάνοι εὐρεῖα χθών!
Sed, quanta tempestas impendeat, vides. Qui transierint senatores, scribam ad te, cum certum habebo. De re frumentaria recte intellegis, quae nullo modo administrari sine vectigalibus potest; nec sine causa et eos, qui circum illum sunt, omnia postulantes et bellum nefarium times. Trebatium nostrum, etsi, ut scribis, nihil bene sperat, tamen videre sane velim. Quem fac horteris, ut properet; opportune enim ad me ante adventum Caesaris venerit. De Lanuvino, statim ut audivi Phameam mortuum, optavi, si modo esset futura res publica, ut id aliquis emeret meorum, neque tamen de te, qui maxime meus es, cogitavi. Sciebam enim te "quoto anno" et "quantum in solo" solere quaerere neque solum Romae, sed etiam Deli tuum διάγραμμα videram.[94] Verum tamen ego illud, quamquam est bellum, minoris aestimo, quam aestimabatur Marcellino consule, cum ego istos hortulos propter domum Anti, quam tum habebam, iucundiores mihi fore putabam et minore impensa, quam si Tusculanum refecissem. Volui HS. Q. Egi per praedem, ille daret tanti, cum haberet venale.
* * * * * Page 223 consuls to be created by the praetors, but for the very praetors themselves, and that it has never been done; that it is illegal for consuls, because it is illegal for persons with greater powers to be proposed for election by those with less; for praetors, because they are proposed as colleagues of the consuls who have the greater powers.
The next thing will be, he will want me to vote for it, and he will not be content with Galba, Scaevola, Cassius and Antonius, "then let the wide earth swallow me." But you see what a storm is coming. Which senators have crossed over to Pompey I will tell you as soon as I know. You are right about the corn supply: it cannot be done without taxation: and you have cause to fear the exorbitant demands of Pompey's associates and a wicked war. I should much like to see my friend Trebatius, although you tell me he is in despair. Do bid him hurry, for it will be convenient, if he comes before Caesar's arrival. As for that estate at Lanuvium, as soon as I heard of the death of Phamea, I longed, if the constitution was going to last, that one of my friends should buy it, and yet I did not think of you, my best friend of all.
For I know that it is your custom to inquire in how many years you may recoup yourself of a purchase, and the value of fixtures, and I had seen your inventory not only at Rome but at Delos. But, though it is a pretty property, I rate it at a lower value than it was rated in Marcellinus' consulship, when I thought that, owing to the house I then had at Antium, those little gardens would please me better and cost less than the repair of my villa at Tusculum. I wanted the property for £4,500.[95] I made an offer to that amount through a third party, when he was putting * * * * * Page 224 Noluit. Sed nunc omnia ista iacere puto propter nummorum caritatem.
Mihi quidem erit aptissimum vel nobis potius, si tu emeris; sed eius dementias cave contemnas. Valde est venustum. Quamquam mihi ista omnia iam addicta vastitati videntur.
Respondi epistulis tribus, sed exspecto alias; nam me adhuc tuae litterae sustentarunt. D. Liberalibus.
X CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Formiano XV K. Apr. a. 705_] Nihil habebam, quod scriberem. Neque enim novi quicquam audieram et ad tuas omnes rescripseram pridie. Sed, cum me aegritudo non solum somno privaret, verum ne vigilare quidem sine summo dolore pateretur, tecum ut quasi loquerer, in quo uno acquiesco, hoc nescio quid nullo argumento proposito scribere institui.
Amens mihi fuisse videor a principio, et me una haec res torquet, quod non omnibus in rebus labentem vel potius ruentem Pompeium tamquam unus manipularis secutus sim. Vidi hominem XIIII K. Febr. plenum formidinis. Illo ipso die sensi, quid ageret. Numquam mihi postea placuit, nec umquam aliud in alio peccare destitit. Nihil interim ad me scribere, nihil nisi fugam cogitare. Quid quaeris? sicut ἐν τοῖς ἐρωτικοῖς alienant immundae, insulsae, indecorae, sic me illius fugae neglegentiaeque deformitas * * * * * Page 225 it up for sale: but he refused. Nowadays I suppose all such property is depreciated on account of the scarcity of money. It will suit me admirably, or rather us, if you buy it. Don't despise the late owner's folly: it is a most charming place. However, all these seats seem now to be doomed to destruction.
I have answered three of your letters; but I await others. So far your letters have been my support.
March 17.
X CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I have nothing to write. There is no news that I have heard, and all your letters I answered yesterday. But as a sick heart not only robs me of sleep, but will not allow me even to keep awake without the greatest pain, I have begun to write to you something or other without any definite subject, that I may have a sort of talk with you, the only thing that gives me relief.
I seem to myself to have been mad from the very beginning, and the one thing that tortures me is that I did not follow Pompey like a private soldier, when he was slipping or rather rushing to ruin. I saw he was terrified on the 17th of January: on that day I felt what he would do.
Since then I have never approved his course, and he has never ceased to commit one blunder after another. Meantime not a letter to me, nothing but thoughts of flight. Well! Just as in love affairs men are repelled by untidiness, stupidity and indelicacy, so the ugliness of * * * * * Page 226 avertit ab amore. Nihil enim dignum faciebat, quare eius fugae comitem me adiungerem. Nunc emergit amor, nunc desiderium ferre non possum, nunc mihi nihil libri, nihil litterae, nihil doctrina prodest. Ita dies et noctes tamquam avis illa mare prospecto, evolare cupio. Do, do poenas temeritatis meae. Etsi quae fuit illa temeritas? quid feci non consideratissime? Si enim nihil praeter fugam quaereretur, fugissem libentissime, sed genus belli crudelissimi et maximi, quod nondum vident homines quale futurum sit, perhorrui. Quae minae municipiis, quae nominatim viris bonis, quae denique omnibus, qui remansissent!
quam crebro illud "Sulla potuit, ego non potero?"! Mihi autem haeserunt illa. Male Tarquinius, qui Porsenam, qui Octavium Mamilium contra patriam, impie Coriolanus, qui auxilium petiit a Volscis, recte Themistocles, qui mori maluit, nefarius Hippias, Pisistrati filius, qui in Marathonia pugna cecidit arma contra patriam ferens. At Sulla, at Marius, at Cinna recte, immo iure fortasse; sed quid eorum victoria crudelius, quid funestius? Huius belli genus fugi, et eo magis, quod crudeliora etiam cogitari et parari videbam. Me, quem non nulli conservatorem istius urbis, quem parentem esse dixerunt, Getarum et Armeniorum et Colchorum copias ad eam adducere? me meis civibus famem, vastitatem inferre Italiae? Hunc primum mortalem esse, deinde etiam * * * * * Page 227 his flight and his carelessness have estranged my love. For he has done nothing of a kind to induce me to share his flight. But now my old love breaks forth: now I miss him intolerably: now books, letters, philosophy, do not help me one whit. Day and night, like that bird,[96] I gaze at the sea, and long to take flight. Sorely am I punished for my rashness. Yet what rashness was there? I acted with all deliberation.
For, if flight were his only object, I would have fled gladly enough.
But I was aghast at warfare so cruel and desperate, the upshot of which is still unknown. What threats against the country towns, against the loyalists by name, in fact against all who should stay behind!