labours which you are now enduring in saving the wrecks of my fortunes.
Wherefore do be careful to look into, examine thoroughly, and write fully everything that occurs, and resolve (as I am sure you do) that I shall be _some one_, since I cannot now be the man I was and the man I might have been; and lastly, believe that in this letter it is not you, but myself that I have accused. If there are any people to whom you think that letters ought to be delivered in my name, pray compose them and see them delivered.
17 August.
[Footnote 332: Or, as Prof. Tyrrell suggests, "does not quote Curio to that effect." I think, however, that Cicero does not use _laudo_ in this sense except in connexion with _auctorem_, _auctores_, and even then generally with a subsense, at least, of commendation. The speech was composed to be delivered against the elder Curio and Clodius (see p.
155), but was never delivered. Its personal tone made it dangerous now.]
[Footnote 333: Cicero means that Atticus acted with the emotion spontaneously arising from his affection, but not with the caution which he would have shewn in doing a thing which he was under some obligation to do.]
[Footnote 334: The ancient "colleges" or "clubs" had been gradually increasing, and a decree of the senate in B.C. 64 had declared certain of them unlawful. But Clodius had overridden this decree by a _lex_ early in B.C. 58, and many new ones were formed, which he used for his [Footnote 335: That he could do nothing against the wishes of Cæsar avoided a personal interview (_Cic._ 31).]
[Footnote 336: The kindness has been all on the side of Atticus, who will therefore be attached to the object of it--for the benefactor loves more than the benefited.]
[Footnote 337: A _privilegium_ was a law referring to a particular person, which was forbidden by the twelve tables, and if it was shewn to be unconstitutional a decree of the senate could declare it void. But Cicero seems to think that such a proceeding of the senate would give a possibility of raising the question afresh.]
[Footnote 338: The first bill named no one, but enacted that "anyone who had put a citizen to death uncondemned should be forbidden fire and water." The second, "that M. Tullius be forbidden fire and water."
Cicero says that the former did not touch him, I suppose, because it could not be retrospective. This is in accordance with the view of Cæsar, who approved of the law, but said that old sores ought not to be ripped up--οὐ μὴν καὶ προσήκειν ἐπὶ παρεληλυθόσι τοιοῦτόν τινα νόμον συγγράφεσθει (Dio, xxxviii. 17).]
[Footnote 339: Because it shewed that he considered himself as coming under the new law.]
[Footnote 340: Letter LXVIII, p. 154.]
[Footnote 341: L. Domitius Ahenobarbus, who was a prætor this year.]
[Footnote 342: Though Cicero uses _tantum...quantum_ here, he does not mean that Atticus failed to love him enough--that would have been too unreasonable. In a certain way he means that he loved him too much. He allowed his spontaneous feelings full vent, without acting with the cool wisdom which he would have shewn in fulfilling a duty or moral obligation. It is more fully expressed above. Still, it was a difficult thing to say, and he doesn't succeed in making it very clear.]
LXXIII (A III, 16) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 19 AUGUST My whole journey is in suspense till I receive letters from you all of the 1st of August. For if there turns out to be any hope, I am for Epirus: if not, I shall make for Cyzicus or some other place. Your letter is cheerful[343] indeed, but at the same time, the oftener I read it, the more it weakens the suggested ground for hope, so that it is easy to see that you are trying to minister at once to consolation and to truth. Accordingly, I beg you to write to me exactly what you know and exactly what you think.
19 August.
[Footnote 343: Reading _lætæ_ for _lectæ_.]
LXXIV (A III, 17) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 4 SEPTEMBER News of my brother Quintus of an invariably gloomy nature reached me from the 3rd of June up to the 29th of August. On that day, however, Livineius, a freedman of Lucius Regulus, came to me by the direction of Regulus himself.[344] He announced that absolutely no notice whatever had been given of a prosecution, but that there had, nevertheless, been some talk about the son of C. Clodius.[345] He also brought me a letter from my brother Quintus. But next day came the slaves of Sestius, who brought me a letter from you not so positive in regard to this alarm as the conversation of Livineius had been. I am rendered very anxious in the midst of my own endless distress, and the more so as Appius[346] has the trial of the case. As to other circumstances mentioned in the same letter by you in connexion with my hopes, I understand that things are going less well than other people represent them. I, however, since we are now not far from the time at which the matter will be decided, will either go to your house or will still remain somewhere in this neighbourhood. My brother writes me word that his interests are being supported by you more than by anyone else. Why should I urge you to do what you are already doing? or offer you thanks which you do not expect?
I only pray that fortune may give us the opportunity of enjoying our mutual affection in security. I am always very anxious to get your letters, in which I beg you not to be afraid of your minuteness boring me, or your plain speaking giving me pain.
4 September.
[Footnote 344: L. Livineius Regulus, whom Cicero (_F._ xiii. 60) calls a very intimate friend, and says that his freedman Trypho stood his friend in the hour of need. He seems to have been condemned (in B.C. 56?) for something, but he afterwards served under Iulius Cæsar (_B. Afr._ § 9).
The freedman's full name was L. Livineius Trypho.]
[Footnote 345: About Appius acting as prosecutor of Quintus. He was a nephew of P. Clodius. See Letter CCXXII.]
[Footnote 346: Appius Claudius Pulcher, brother of P. Clodius, was prætor-designate for B.C. 57, and had allotted to him the _quæstio de LXXV (A III, 18) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA (SEPTEMBER) You raised no little flutter in my mind when you said in your letter that Varro had assured you as a friend that Pompey would certainly take up my case, and that as soon as he had received a letter from Cæsar, which he was expecting, he would even name some one to formally carry out the business. Was that all mere talk, or was the letter from Cæsar hostile? Is there some ground for hope? You mentioned, too, that Pompey had also used the expression "after the elections." Pray, as you can conceive the severity of the troubles by which I am prostrated, and as you must think it natural to your kindness to do so, inform me fully as to the whole state of my case. For my brother Quintus, dear good fellow, who is so much attached to me, fills his letters with hopeful expressions, fearing, I suppose, my entirely losing heart. Whereas your letters vary in tone; for you won't have me either despair or cherish rash hopes. I beseech you to let me know everything as far as you can detect the truth.
LXXVI (A III, 19) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 15 SEPTEMBER As long as my letters from you all continued to be of such a nature as to keep expectation alive, I was bound to Thessalonica by hope and eager longing: afterwards, when all political measures for this year appeared to me to be over, I yet determined not to go to Asia, both because a crowd of people is disagreeable to me, and because, in case any movement was set on foot by the new magistrates, I was unwilling to be far off.
Accordingly, I resolved to go to your house in Epirus, not because the natural features of the country mattered to me, shunning as I do the light of day altogether, but because it will be most grateful to my feelings to set out from a harbour of yours to my restoration; and, if that restoration is denied me, there is no place where I shall with greater ease either support this most wretched existence or (which is much better) rid myself of it. I shall be in a small society: I shall shake off the crowd. Your letters have never raised me to such a pitch of hope as those of others; and yet my hopes have always been less warm than your letters. Nevertheless, since a beginning has been made in the case, of whatever sort and from whatever motive, I will not disappoint the sad and touching entreaties of my best and only brother, nor the promises of Sestius and others, nor the hopes of my most afflicted wife, nor the entreaties of my most unhappy Tulliola, as well as your own loyal letter. Epirus will furnish me with a road to restoration or to that other alternative mentioned above. I beg and entreat of you, Titus Pomponius, as you see that I have been despoiled by the treachery of men of all that most adds splendour to life, of all that can most gratify and delight the soul, as you see that I have been betrayed and cast away by my own advisers, as you understand that I have been forced to ruin myself and my family--help me by your compassion, and support my brother Quintus, who is still capable of being saved; protect Terentia and my children. For myself, if you think it possible that you may see me at Rome, wait for me; if not, come to see me if you can, and make over to me just so much of your land as may be covered by my corpse. Finally, send slaves to me with letters as soon and as often as possible.
15 September.
LXXVII (A III, 20) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 4 OCTOBER _Cicero greets Q. Cæcilius Pomponianus Atticus, son of Quintus._[347] That this is now the case, and that your uncle has done what he ought to have done, I approve in the strongest manner possible: I will say I am "glad," when circumstances shall admit of my using such a word. Ah me!
how well everything would have been going if my own spirit, my own judgment, and the good faith of those on whom I relied had not failed me! But I won't review these circumstances lest I increase my sorrow.
Yet I feel sure that it occurs to your mind what a life ours was, how delightful, how dignified. To recover this, in the name of fortune, bestow all your energies, as I know you do, and take care that I keep the birthday of my return in your delightful house with you and my family. For this hope and expectation, though now put before me as being very strong, I yet wished to wait in your home in Epirus; but my letters are such as to make me think it better not to be in the same neighbourhood. What you say in your letter about my town house and about Curio's speech is exactly true. Under the general act of restoration, if only that is accorded me, everything will be included, of which I care for nothing more than for my house. But I don't give you any precise injunction, I trust myself wholly to your affection and honour. I am very glad to hear that you have extricated yourself from every embarrassment in view of so large an inheritance. As to your promise to employ your means in securing my restoration, though I am in all points assisted by you above all others, yet I quite see what a support that is, and I fully understand that you are undertaking and can carry on many departments of my cause, and do not need to be asked to do so. You tell me not to suspect that your feelings have been at all affected by acts of commission or omission on my part towards you--well, I will obey you and will get rid of that anxiety; yet I shall owe you all the more from the fact that your kind consideration for me has been on a higher level than mine for you. Please tell me in your letters whatever you see, whatever you make out, whatever is being done in my case, and exhort all your friends to help in promoting my recall. The bill of Sestius[348] does not shew sufficient regard for my dignity or sufficient caution. For the proposed law ought to mention me by name, and to contain a carefully expressed clause about my property. Pray see to it.
Thessalonica, 4 October.
[Footnote 347: Cicero gives Atticus his full name, rather playfully, as it was a new acquisition. His uncle, Q. Cæcilius, dying this year, left him heir to a large fortune, and adopted him in his will (Nep. _Att._ 5). He therefore, according to custom, took his uncle's _prænomen_ and _nomen_, Q. Cæcilius, retaining his own _nomen_ in an adjectival form (Pomponianus) as a _cognomen_, just as C. Octavius became, by his uncle's will, _C. Iulius Cæsar Octavianus_. His additional name of Atticus remained as before, and in ordinary life was his usual designation. See p. 15.]
[Footnote 348: Sestius, tribune-elect for B.C. 57, would come into office 10th December, B.C. 58. He means to bring a bill before the people for Cicero's recall, and a draft of it has been sent to Cicero, who criticises it as not entering sufficiently into details, though he had before said that a general _restitutio in integrum_ covered everything; but perhaps this bill only repealed the Clodian law as a _privilegium_, without mentioning anything else.]
LXXVIII (F XIV, 2) TO TERENTIA (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 5 OCTOBER Greetings to Terentia, and Tulliola, and Cicero. Don't suppose that I write longer letters to anyone else, unless some one has written at unusual length to me, whom I think myself bound to answer. For I have nothing to write about, and there is nothing at such a time as this that I find it more difficult to do. Moreover, to you and my dear Tulliola I cannot write without many tears. For I see you reduced to the greatest misery--the very people whom I desired to be ever enjoying the most complete happiness, a happiness which it was my bounden duty to secure, and which I should have secured if I had not been such a coward. Our dear Piso I love exceedingly for his noble conduct. I have to the best of my ability encouraged him by letter to proceed, and thanked him, as I was bound to do. I gather that you entertain hopes in the new tribunes.
We shall have reason to depend on that, if we may depend on Pompey's goodwill, but yet I am nervous about Crassus. I gather that you have behaved in every respect with the greatest courage and most loyal affection, nor am I surprised at it; but I grieve that the position should be such that my miseries are relieved by such heavy ones on your part. For a kind friend of ours, Publius Valerius, has told me in a letter which I could not read without violent weeping, how you had been dragged from the temple of Vesta to the Valerian bank.[349] To think of it, my dear, my love! You from whom everybody used to look for help![350] That you, my Terentia, should now be thus harassed, thus prostrate in tears and humiliating distress! And that this should be brought about by my fault, who have preserved the rest of the citizens only to perish myself! As to what you say about our town house, or rather its site, I shall not consider myself fully restored, until it has also been restored for me. However, these things are not yet within our grasp. I am only sorry that you, impoverished and plundered as you are, should be called upon to bear any part of the present expenses. Of course, if the business is successfully accomplished we shall get everything back: but if the same evil fortune keeps us down, will you be so foolish as to throw away even the poor remains of your fortune?[351] I beseech you, my life, as far as expense goes, allow others to bear it, who are well able if they are only willing to do so; and do not, as you love me, try your delicate constitution. For I have you day and night before my eyes: I see you eagerly undertaking labours of every kind: I fear you cannot endure them. Yet I see that everything depends on you!
Wherefore, to enable us to attain what you hope and are striving for, attend carefully to your health. _I_ don't know to whom to write except to those who write to me, or to those about whom you say something in your letters. I will not go farther off, since that is your wish, but pray send me a letter as often as possible, especially if there is anything on which we may safely build our hope. Good-bye, my loves, good-bye!
Thessalonica, 5 October.
[Footnote 349: Terentia, whose half-sister was a Vestal, seems to have taken sanctuary with the Vestals, as did the mother and sister of Augustus in B.C. 43. The special indignity of which Cicero complains is that she had been forced to leave the sanctuary and appear at the bank of Valerius, but for what purpose we cannot now tell. It is suggested that it was to make some solemn declaration as to her husband's property, some of which she may be supposed to have tried to conceal.
The term _ducta esses_ is that applied to prisoners led through the streets, but we may regard it as used _ad invidiam_.]
[Footnote 350: In securing her husband's advocacy.]
[Footnote 351: Mention is made of Terentia's separate estate in Letters XXX and LXXXI.]
LXXIX (A III, 21) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA, 28 OCTOBER It is exactly thirty days to the writing of this letter since I have heard from you. Well, my present intention is, as I have told you, to go into Epirus and there by preference to await whatever may turn up. I beg you to write to me with the utmost openness whatever you perceive to be the state of the case, and whether it is for good or evil, and also to send a letter, as you say, in my name to whomsoever you think it necessary.
28 October.
LXXX (A III, 22) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) THESSALONICA AND DYRRACHIUM, 27 NOVEMBER Though my brother Quintus and Piso have given me a careful account of what has been done, yet I could have wished that your engagements had not hindered you from writing fully to me, as has been your custom, what was on foot and what you understood to be the facts. Up to the present, Plancius[352] keeps me here by his generous treatment, though I have several times already made an effort to go to Epirus. He has conceived a hope, which I do not share, that we may possibly quit the province together: he hopes that that may redound greatly to his credit. But as soon as news shall come that soldiers are on their way hither,[353] I shall have to insist on quitting him. And as soon as I do that I will at once send you word, that you may know where I am. Lentulus,[354] in his own peculiar zeal for my cause, which he manifests by action and promises and writings, gives me some hope of Pompey's friendly feelings.
For you have often told me in your letters that the latter was wholly devoted to him. As to Metellus,[355] my brother has written me word that by your agency as much has been accomplished as he had hoped. My dear Pomponius, fight hard that I may be allowed to live with you and my own family, and write me everything that occurs. I am heavy with sorrow and regret for all my dear ones, who have always been dearer to me than myself. Take care of your health.
* * * * * Dyrrachium, 27 November. As, if I went through Thessaly into Epirus, I should have been likely to be a very long time without any intelligence, and as I have warm friends in the people of Dyrrachium, I have come to them, after writing the former part of this letter at Thessalonica. When I turn my face from this town towards your house I will let you know, and for your part I would have you write me everything with the utmost particularity, whatever its nature. I am now expecting some definite step or the abandonment of all hope.
[Footnote 352: Cn. Plancius, quæstor in Macedonia, whose kindness Cicero lauds highly when defending him in B.C. 54.]
[Footnote 353: The forces of the new governor, L. Calpurnius Piso, who was to have Macedonia after his consulship, and would be sending his troops on before him.]
[Footnote 355: Q. Cæcilius Metellus Nepos, consul-designate for B.C. 57.
See pp. 22-23.]
LXXXI (F XIV, 1) TO TERENTIA PARTLY WRITTEN AT THESSALONICA, PARTLY AT DYRRACHIUM, 28 NOVEMBER Greetings to his Terentia, Tulliola, and Cicero. I learn, both from the letters of many and the conversation of all whom I meet, that you are shewing a virtue and courage surpassing belief; and that you give no sign of fatigue in mind or body from your labours. Ah me! To think that a woman of your virtue, fidelity, uprightness, and kindness should have fallen into such troubles on my account! And that my little Tullia should reap such a harvest of sorrow from the father, from whom she used to receive such abundant joys! For why mention my boy Cicero, who from the first moment of conscious feeling has been made aware of the bitterest sorrows and miseries? And if, as you say, I had thought these things the work of destiny, I could have borne them somewhat more easily, but they were really all brought about by my own fault, in thinking myself beloved by those who were really jealous of me, and in not joining those who really wanted me.[356] But if I had followed my own judgment, and had not allowed the observations of friends, who were either foolish or treacherous, to have such great influence with me, we should have been living at the height of bliss. As it is, since friends bid us hope, I will do my best to prevent my weakness of health from failing to second your efforts. I fully understand the magnitude of the difficulty, and how much easier it will turn out to have been to stay at home than to get back. However, if we have all the tribunes on our side, if we find Lentulus as zealous as he appears to be, if, finally, we have Pompey and Cæsar, there is no reason to despair. About our slaves,[357] we will do what you say is the opinion of our friends. As to this place, by this time the epidemic has taken its departure; but while it lasted, it did not touch me. Plancius, the kindest of men, desires me to stay with him and still keeps me from departing. I wanted to be in a less frequented district in Epirus, to which neither Hispo[358] nor soldiers would come, but as yet Plancius keeps me from going; he hopes that he may possibly quit his province for Italy in my company. And if ever I see that day, and come once more into your arms, and if I ever recover you all and myself, I shall consider that I have reaped a sufficient harvest both of your piety and my own. Piso's[359] kindness, virtue, and affection toward us all are so great that nothing can surpass them. I hope his conduct may be a source of pleasure to him, a source of glory I see clearly that it will be. I did not mean to find fault with you about my brother Quintus, but I wished that you all, especially considering how few there are of you, should be as closely united as possible. Those whom you wished me to thank I have thanked, and told them that my information came from you. As to what you say in your letter, my dear Terentia, about your intention of selling the village, alas! in heaven's name, what will become of you? And if the same ill-fortune continues to pursue us, what will become of our poor boy? I cannot write the rest--so violent is my outburst of weeping, and I will not reduce you to the same tearful condition. I only add this: if my friends remain loyal to me, there will be no lack of money; if not, you will not be able to effect our object out of your own purse. In the name of our unhappy fortunes, beware how we put the finishing stroke to the boy's ruin. If he has something to keep him from absolute want, he will need only moderate character and moderate luck to attain the rest. See to your health, and mind you send me letter-carriers, that I may know what is going on and what you are all doing. I have in any case only a short time to wait.
Give my love to Tulliola and Cicero. Good-bye.
* * * * * P.S.--I have come to Dyrrachium both because it is a free state, very kindly disposed to me, and the nearest point to Italy.[361] But if the crowded condition of the place offends me, I shall take myself elsewhere and I will write you word.
[Footnote 356: The party of the triumvirs.]
[Footnote 357: See Letter LXI, p. 142.]
[Footnote 358: A centurion or other officer in the army of Piso crossing to Macedonia. But the name is otherwise unknown, and some have thought that it is an intentional disguise for the name of _Piso_ himself.]
[Footnote 360: The greater part of this letter was evidently written at Thessalonica. Cicero appears to have put the date and place of departure to it after arriving at Dyrrachium, and then added a postscript to explain why he had come there.]
and would not be filled with Roman officials. The crowded state of the town--by which Cicero means crowded with Romans--would arise from its being the usual place of disembarkation from Rome across the north of the Greek peninsula to the East. There was doubtless always a large traffic between it and Brundisium, but at this time of year, when sailing would be, if possible, avoided, he might hope to find it somewhat less crowded.]
LXXXII (A III, 23) TO ATTICUS (AT ROME) DYRRACHIUM, 29 NOVEMBER On the 26th of November I received three letters from you, one dated 25th of October, in which you exhort me to await the month of January with a good heart, and write at length on such topics as you think tend to encourage my hopes--as to the zeal of Lentulus, the goodwill of Metellus, and the general policy of Pompey. In the second letter, contrary to your usual custom, you append no date, but give sufficient indication of the time of its writing. For the law having been published by the eight tribunes, you mention that you wrote this letter on the very same day, that is, the 29th of October,[362] and you say what good you think that publication has done. In regard to which, if my restoration is to be despaired of along with this law, I would have you think in your affection for me that my fruitless exertions are pitiable rather than foolish: but if there is any ground for hope, try and secure that my cause may be hereafter supported with greater attention to details by the new magistrates. For this bill of the old tribunes[363] had three clauses, of which the one relating to my return was carelessly drafted. For nothing is restored to me except my citizenship and senatorial rank: which, in the circumstances of my position, suffices me, but it does not escape your observation what special provisions will have to be made, and in what manner. The second clause is the usual one--"If anything be done in virtue of this law against other laws."[364] But observe, my dear Pomponius, what the object of the third clause is, and by whom it has been put in. For you know that Clodius provided that it should be scarcely possible, or rather altogether impossible, for his law to be deprived of validity either by senate or people. But you must see that the penal provisions of such laws as are repealed have never been observed. For in that case hardly any law could be repealed at all--for there is no law which does not hedge itself in by trying to make repeal difficult--but when a law is repealed, so is the clause meant to prevent its repeal. Now, though this is in truth the case, since it has been the universal doctrine and practice, our eight tribunes introduced the following clause: _If any provision is contained in this bill which, in view of existing laws or plebiscites_ (_i.e._, Clodius's law), _it is not lawful without incurring penalty, now or heretofore, whether to publish, repeal, amend, or supersede, or whereby he who has so published or amended would be liable to penalty or fine--such provision is not enacted by this law_. And observe that this contingency did not touch the case of those eight tribunes, for they were not bound by a law emanating from their own body.[365] Which makes one the more suspicious of some evil intention, since they have added a clause which did not affect themselves, but was against my interests: so that the new tribunes, if they happened to be somewhat timid, would think it still more necessary to employ the clause.[366] And Clodius did not fail to notice this. For he said in the public meeting of November the third, that by this clause a limit to their legal powers was laid down for the tribunes-designate; and yet it cannot escape your notice that in no law is there a clause of the sort: whereas, if it had been necessary, everybody would have employed it in repealing a law. How this point came to escape Ninnius[367] and the rest, pray find out, and who introduced the clause, and how it was that the eight tribunes did not hesitate to bring my case before the senate--which implies that they did not think that clause of the law binding--and were yet so cautious in their proposal for its repeal, as to be afraid (though not personally liable) of what need not be taken into consideration, even by those who are bound by the law. This clause I would not have the new tribunes propose; however, let them only carry something, no matter what: I shall be content with the single clause recalling me, so long only as the business is done. I have for some time been feeling ashamed of writing at such length; for I fear by the time you read this it will be all up with any hopes, so that this minute criticism of mine may seem pitiable to you and ridiculous to others. But if there is any ground for hope, pray look at the law which Visellius[368] drafted for T. Fadius. I like it very much: for that of our friend Sestius, which you say has your approbation, I don't like.
The third letter is dated 12th of November, in which you explain with wisdom and care what the circumstances are which seem to cause a postponement of my affair, and about Crassus, Pompey, and the rest.
Accordingly, I beg you, if there is any hope that the matter can be settled by the zeal of the loyalists, by the exertion of influence, and by getting numbers on our side, to endeavour to break through all difficulties at a rush, to throw your whole weight into the attempt, and incite others to do the same. But if, as I perceive from your conjectures as well as my own, there is no hope left, I beg and implore you to cherish my brother Quintus, whom I to our mutual misery have ruined, and not allow him to do anything to himself which would be to the detriment of your sister's son. My little Cicero, to whom, poor boy!
I leave nothing but prejudice and the blot upon my name, pray protect to the best of your power. Terentia, that most afflicted of women, sustain by your kindness. I shall start for Epirus as soon as I have received news of the first days of the new tribunate.[369] Pray describe fully to me in your next letter what sort of a beginning is made.
29 November.
[Footnote 362: This bill for Cicero's recall would, of course, be vetoed by Clodius, and could not therefore be passed, but it would probably influence the action of the new tribunes for B.C. 57.]
[Footnote 363: _I.e._, the tribunes of B.C. 58.]
[Footnote 364: _I.e._, securing indemnity to the proposers if there is a technical breach of existing laws, something like the common clause--"all statutes to the contrary notwithstanding."]
[Footnote 365: The Clodian law.]
[Footnote 366: Because they would not be protected as the previous tribunes were by the fact of the Clodian law (which alone was contravened) having emanated from their own _collegium_.]
[Footnote 367: L. Quadratus Ninnius, tribune-elect. On the 1st of June next he brought forward the question of Cicero's restoration in the senate.]
[Footnote 368: Cicero's cousin, C. Visellius Varro, a learned [Footnote 369: The tribunes came into office on the 10th of December, nearly three weeks before the consuls, prætors, etc., who entered office on the 1st of January.]
LXXXIII (F XIV, 3) TO TERENTIA (AT ROME) DYRRACHIUM, 29 NOVEMBER Greetings to his Terentia, Tulliola, and Cicero. I have received three letters from the hands of Aristocritus, which I almost obliterated with tears. For I am thoroughly weakened with sorrow, my dear Terentia, and it is not my own miseries that torture me more than yours--and yours, my children! Moreover, I am more miserable than you in this, that whereas the disaster is shared by us both, yet the fault is all my own. It was my duty to have avoided the danger by accepting a legation,[370] or to resist it by careful management and the resources at my command, or to fall like a brave man. Nothing was more pitiful, more base, or more unworthy of myself than the line I actually took. Accordingly, it is with shame as well as grief that I am overpowered. For I am ashamed of not having exhibited courage and care to a most excellent wife and most darling children. I have, day and night, before my eyes the mourning dresses, the tears of you all, and the weakness of your own health, while the hope of recall presented to me is slender indeed. Many are hostile, nearly all jealous. To expel me had been difficult, to keep me out is easy. However, as long as you entertain any hope, I will not give way, lest all should seem lost by my fault. As to your anxiety for my personal safety, that is now the easiest thing in the world for me, for even my enemies desire me to go on living in this utter wretchedness. I will, however, do as you bid me. I have thanked the friends you desired me to thank, and I have delivered the letters to Dexippus, and have mentioned that you had informed me of their kindness. That our Piso has shewn surprising zeal and kindness to us I can see for myself, but everybody also tells me of it. God grant that I may be allowed, along with you and our children, to enjoy the actual society of such a son-in-law! For the present our one remaining hope is in the new tribunes, and that, too, in the first days of their office; if the matter is allowed to get stale, it is all over with us. It is for that reason that I have sent Aristocritus back to you at once, in order that you may be able to write to me on the spot as to the first official steps taken, and the progress of the whole business; although I have also given Dexippus orders to hurry back here at once, and I have sent a message to my brother to despatch letter-carriers frequently. For the professed object of my being at Dyrrachium at the present juncture is that I may hear as speedily as possible what is being done; and I am in