although they fhould not come up to what in theory he might wifli or imagine, will neverthelefs find them much, fuperior to thofe that, in facl:, are to he found in other countries, and far beyond the mean picture that is drawn of them by Minute Philofophers. It is natural for thofe. to rail moft at places of education, who have profited leaft by them. Weak and fond parents will alfo readily im- pute to a wrong caufe, thofe corruptions themfelves have occafioned, by allowing their children more money than .they knew how to fpend innocently. And too often a gentleman, who has been idle at the college, and kept idle company, will judge of a whole univerfity from his own cabal.
Alc — Crito miftakes the point. I vouch the authori- ty, not of a dunce, or a rake, or abfurd parent, but of the moft confummate critic this age has produced. This great man chara&erizeth men of the church and uni- verfities with the fined touches, and moft mafterly pen- cil. What do you think he calls them?
Euph. — What?
Euph. — What?
Alc. — Why, the black tribe, magicians, formalifts, pedants, bearded boys; and, having fufficiently derided and exploded them, and their mean ungenteel learning, he fets moft admirable models of his own for good writ- ing: And it muft be acknowledged, they are the fineft things in our language •, as I could eafily convince you, for I am never without fomething of that noble writer about me.
Euph. — Is he then a noble writer?
Alc — I tell you he is a nobleman.
Euph. — But a noble man who writes, is one thing, and a noble writer is another.
Alc. — Both characters are coincident, as you may fee.
XXII. Upon which Alciphron pulled a treatife out of his pocket, intitled A Soliloquy> or Advice to an Author, — 224 MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. VJ Would you behold, faid he, looking round upon the company, a noble fpecimen of fine writing: do but dip into this book, which Crito opening, read verbatim as 'fol- lows. * * Where then are the Pleafures which ambition promifes^ * And love affords? How's the gay world enjoy' dP * Or are thofe to be efeem'd no pleafuresy * Which are lojl by dullnefs and inaElion?
* But indolence is the highejl pleafure.
* To live and not to feel! To feel no trouble, ' What good then? Life itfelf. And is f This properly to live P Is Jleeping life 2 * Is this what I Jhouldfludy to prolong P * Here the f Fantaflic tribe itfelffeems fcandaliz'd.
* A civil war begins: The major part * Of the capricious dames do range themfelves ( On reafon's fde, f And declare againfl the languid firen.
* Ambition blujhes at the offer' dfweet.
1 Conceit and vanity take fuperior airs* * Ev'n luxury herfelf in her polite * And elegant humour, reproves th' apoflate * Sifter.
€ And marks her as an alien to true pleafure.
* Away thou € Drowfy phantom! Haunt me no more^for I 6 Have learn' d, from better than thy fifter hood, ' That life and happinefs confift in aclion c And employment.
( But here a bufy form f elicits usf c Aclivey indujlriousy watchful ', anddefpifing * Pains and labor. She wears the fericus * Countenance of virtue, but with features c Of anxiety and difquiet.
6 What is'tfhe mutters P What looks Jhe on with 6 Such admiration and aflonifoment P * Bags! Coffers! Heaps of fhinitig metal! What I € For thefervice of luxury P For her?
* Thefe preparations P Art thou then her friend t * Grave Fancy J Is it for her thou ioil'Jl P * No, but for provifion againjl "want.
* But luxury apart! tell me now, * Hajl thou not already a competence P * *Tis good to be fecure again/} the fear ' Offarving. Is there then no death but this P * No other paffage out of life P Are other doors € Secur'd, if this be bar'd P Say avarice!
€ 'Thou emptiejl of phantoms, is it not vile * Cowardife thou fervfl P What further have I then * To do with thee (thou doubly vile dependent) * When once I have difmifidthy patronefs, ' And defpifed her threats?
€ Thus I contend with fancy and opinion.9 Euphranor, having heard thus far, cried out, What I will you never have done with your poetry? another time may ferve: But why mould we break off our con- ference to read a play? You are miftaken, it is no play nor poetry, replied Alciphron, but a famous modern cri- tic moralizing in profe. You muft know this great man hath (to ufe his own words) revealed a grand arcanum to the world, having inftru&ed mankind in what he calls Mirrour-writing, felf-difcourfing pratlice, and author-prac- tice, and (hewed, " That by virtue of an intimate recefs, we may difcover a certain duplicity of foul, and divide owxfelf into two parties, or (as he varies the phrafe) prac- tically form the dual number." In confequence whereof E e 226 MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. V.]
he hath found out that a man may argue with himfelf: And not only with himfelf, but alfo with notions, fenti- ments, and vices, which, by a marvellous profopopceia, he converts into fo many ladies: And fo converted, he con- futes and confounds them in a divine ftrain. Can any thing be finer, bolder, or more fublime?
Euph. — It is very wonderful. I thought indeed you had been reading a piece of a tragedy. Is this he who defpifeth our univerfities, and fets up for reforming the ftile and tafte of the age?
Alc— - The very fame. This is the admired critic of our times. Nothing can ftand the teft of his correct judgment, which is equally fevere to poets and parfons. " The Britijh mufes, (faith this great man) lifp as in their * cradles: And their Hammering tongues, which nothing " but youth and rawnefs can excufe, have hitherto fpoken « in wretched pun and quibble. Our dramatic Shake/pear, <l our Fletcher, John/on, and our Epique Milton, preferve " this ftile. And, according to him, even our later au- " thors, aiming at a falfe fublime, entertain our raw fancy " and unpra£Ufed ear, which has not yet had leifure to " form itfelf, and become truly mufical."
Euph. — Pray what effe£b may the leffons of this great man, in whofe eyes our learned profeffors are but bearded boys, and our moft celebrated wits but wretched punfters, have had upon the public? Hath he rubbed off the col- lege ruft, cured the rudenefs and rawnefs of our authors, and reduced them to his own attic ftandard? Do they afpire to his true fublime, or imitate his chafte unaffe&ed ftile?
Alc» — Doubtlefs the tafte of the age is muft mended: In proof whereof his writings are univerfally admired. When our author publifhed this treatife, he forefaw the public tafte would improve apace: That arts and letters would grow to great perfection: That there would be a [Dial. V.] MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. 227 happy birth of genius: Of all which things he fpoke, as he faith himfelf, in a prophetic ftile.
Cri. — And yet, notwithstanding the prophetical predic- tions of this critic, I do not find that any fcience hath throve among us of late, fo much as the Minute Philofo- phy. In this kind, it muft be confefTed, we have had many notable productions. But whether they are fuch matter-pieces for good writing, I leave to be determined by their readers.
XXIII. In the mean time I muft beg to be excufed, if I cannot believe your great man on his bare word, when he would have us think, that ignorance and ill tafte are owing to the chriftian religion or the clergy, it being my fincere opinion, that whatever learning or knowledge we have among us, is derived from that order. If thofe, who are fo fagacious at difcovering a mote in other eyes, would but purge their own, I believe they might eafily fee this truth. For what but religion could kindle and preferve a fpirit towards learning, in fuch a northern rough people? Greece produced men of active and fubtile genius. The public conventions and emulations of their cities forwarded that genius: And their natural cu- riofity was amufed and excited by learned converfations, in their public walks, and gardens, and porticoes. Our genius leads to amufements of a groffer kind: We breathe a grofier and a colder air: And that curiofity which was general in the Athenians^ and the gratifying of which was their chief recreation, is among our people of fafhion treated like affectation, and, as fuch, banifhed from polite afiTemblies and places of refort: And without doubt would, in a little time, be banifned the country; If it were not for the great refervoirs of learning, where thofe for- malifts, pedants, and bearded boys, as your profound critic calls them, are maintained by the liberality and pi- ety of our predecefTors. For it is as evident that religion was the caufe of thofe feminaries, as it is that they arc the caufe or fource of all the learning and tafte which is to be found, even in thofe very men who are the declared enemies of our religion and public foundations. Every one, who knows any thing, knows we are indebted for our learning to the Greek and Latin tongues. This thofe fevere cenfors will readily grant. Perhaps they may not be fo ready to grant, what all men mud fee, that we are indebted for thofe tongues to our religion. What elfe could have made foreign and dead languages in fuch re- queft among us? What could have kept in being and handed them down to our times, through fo many dark ages, in which the world was wafted and disfigured by wars and violence V What, but a regard to the holy fcrip- tures, and theological writings of the fathers and doc- tors of the church? And, in fa£t, do we not find that the learning of thofe times was folely in the hands of ecclefi- aftics; that they alone lighted the lamp in fucceflion one from another, and tranfmitted it down to after-ages; and that ancient books were collecled and preferved in their colleges and feminaries, when all love and remembrance of polite arts and ftudies was extinguifhed among the lai- ty, whofe ambition intirely turned to arms?
XXIV. Aix.-^-There is, I mu ft needs fay, one fort of learning undoubtedly of chriftian original, and peculiar to the univerfities; where our youth fpend feveral years in acquiring that myfterious jargon of fcholafticifm, than which there could never have been contrived a more ef- fectual method, to perplex and confound human under- Handing. It is true, gentlemen are untaught by the world what they have been taught at the college: but then their time is doubly loft.
■Cri. — But what if this fcholaftic learning was not of chriftian, but of mahometan original, being derived from [Dial. V.] MINUTE PHILOSOPHER..529 the Arabs P And what if this grievance of gentlemen's fpending feveral years in learning and unlearning this jar- gon, be all grimace, and a fpecimen only of the truth and candour of certain Minute Philofophers, who raife great invectives from flight occafions, and judge too of ten with- out inquiring. Surely it would be no fuch deplorable lofs of time, if a young gentleman fpent a few months upon that fo much defpifed and decried art of logic, a furfeit of which is by no means the prevailing nufance of this age. It is one thing to wafte one's time in learning and unlearning the barbarous terms, wiredrawn diflinftions, and prolix fophiflry of the fchoolmen; and another to attain fome exactnefs in defigning and arguing: Things perhaps not altogether beneath the dignity even of a Mi- nute Philofopher. There was indeed a time, when logic was confidered as its own object: And that art of rea- foning, inftead of being transferred to things, turned alto- gether upon words and abftra£tions: Which produced a fort of leprofy in all parts of knowledge, corrupting and converting them into hollow verbal difputations in a mod Impure dialed!:. But thofe times are paffed: And that which had been cultivated as the principal learning for fome ages, is now confidered in another light: And by no means makes that figure in the univerfities, or bears that part in the ftudies of young gentlemen educated there, which is pretended by thofe admirable reformers of reli- gion and learning, the Minute Philofophers.
XXV. But who are they that encouraged and produ- ced the restoration of arts and polite learning? "What fhare had the Minute Philofophers in this affair? Matthias CorvinuSy king of Hungary, Alphonfus ■, king of Naples, Cofmus de Medicis, Picus, of Mirandula, and other princes and great men, famous for learning themfelves, and for encouraging it in others, with a munificent liberality, 23o MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. V.]
were neither Turks nor Gentiles, nor Minute Philofo- phers. Who was it that tranfplanted and revived the Greek language and authors, and with them all polite arts and literature in the weft? Was it not chiefly BeJ/arion, a cardinal, Marcus Mufurus, an archbifhop, Theodore Gaza, a private clergyman? Has there been a greater and more renowned patron, and reftorer of elegant ftudies in every kind, fince the days of Augnjlus C/zfar, than Leot the tenth pope of Rome? Did any writers approach the purity of the ClaJJlcs nearer than the cardinals, Bembus and Sadoletus, or than the bifhops, Jovius and Vida P not to mention an endlefs number of ingenious ecclefiafties, who flourifhed on the other fide of the Alp's, in the gold- en age (as the Italians call it) of Leo the tenth, and wrote, both in their own language and the Latin, after the bed models of antiquity. It is true, this firft recovery of learning preceded the Reformation, and light- ed the way to it: but the religious controverfies, which enfued, did wonderfully propagate and improve it in all parts of Chriftendom. And furely the Church of Eng- land is, at leaft, as well calculated for the encourage- ment of learning, as that of Rome. Experience confirms this obfervation; and I believe the Minute Philofophers will not be fo partial to Rome as to deny it.
Alc— It is impoffible your account of learning beyond the Alps fhould be true. The noble critic in my hands, having complimented the French) to whom he allows fome good authors, afferts of other foreigners, particularly the Italians, " That they may be reckoned no better than the corrupters of true learning and erudition."
Cri. — With fome forts of critics, dogmatical cenfures and conclufions are not always the refult of perfect know- ledge, or exacl: inquiry: And if the harrange upon tafte, truth of art, a juft piece, grace of ftile, attic elegance, and fuch topics, they are to be underftood only as thofe [Dm, VJ MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. 231 that would fain talk themfelves into reputation for cour- To hear ^Thrafymackiis fpeak of refentment, duels, tad points of honor, one would think him ready to burft with valour.
Lys. — Whatever merit this writer may have as a demolim- er, I always thought he had a very little as a builder. It is natural for carelefs writers to run into faults they never think of: But for an exa£t and fevere critic to {hoot his bolt at random, is unpardonable. If he, who pro- feffes, at every turn, an high efteem for polite writing, fhould yet defpife thofe who molt excel in it, one would be tempted to fufpecl: his tafte. But if the very man, who, of all men, talk moll about art and tafte, and critical fkill, and would be thought to have moll confidered thofe points, mould often deviate from his own rules, into the falfe fublime, or the mauvaife plafanterie; what reafonable man would follow the tafte and judgment of fuch a guide, or be feduced to climb the fteep afcent, or tread in the rugged paths of virtue, on his recommenda- tion?
XXVI. Alc — But to return, methinks Crito makes no compliment to the genius of his country, in fuppoling that EngliJImien might not have wrought out of themfelves, all art and fcience, and good tafte; without being behold- en to church, or universities, or ancient languages.
Cri. — What might have been, is only conjecture.— What has been, it is not difficult to know. That there is a vein in Britain> of as rich an ore as ever was in any country, I will not deny; but it lies deep, and will coil pains to come at: and extraordinary pains require an ex- traordinary motive. As for what lies next the furface, it feems but indifferent, being neither fo good, nor in fuch plenty* as io fome other countries. It was the compar- ifon of an ingenious Florentine^ that the celebrated poems a32 MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. V.]
of Tajfo and Ariofto are like two gardens, the one of cucum- bers, the other of melons. In the one you mail find few- bad, but the beft are not a very good fruit; in the other much the greater part are good for nothing, but thofe that are good are excellent. Perhaps the fame comparison may hold good between the Englijh and fome of their neighbors.
Alc. — But fuppofe we fhould grant, that the chriftian religion and its feminaries might have been of ufe, in pre- ferving or retrieving polite arts and letters \ what then? Will you make this an argument of its truth?
Cri. — I will make it an argument of prejudice and in- gratitude in thofe Minute Philofophers, who object, dark- nefs, ignorance, and rudenefs, as an effecl: of that very thing, which, above all others, hath enlightened and ci- vilized, and embellifhed their country: which is as truly indebted to it for arts and fciences (which nothing but re- ligion was ever known to have planted in fuch a latitude) as for that general fenfe of virtue and humanity, and the belief of a Providence and future ftate, which all the ar- gumentation of Minute Philofophers hath not yet been able to abolifh.
XXVII. Alc. — It is ftrange you mould flill perfift to argue, as if all the gentlemen of our feci: were enemies to virtue, and downrigh atheifts: Though I have aflured you of the contrary, and that we have among us feveral, ^ who profefs themfelves in the interefts of virtue and natu- ral religion, and have alfo declared, that I rnyfelf do now argue upon that foot.
Cri. — How can you pretend to be in the interefl of natural religion, and yet be profeifed enemies of the chrif- ftian, the only eftablifhed religion which includes what ever is excellent in the natural, and which is the only means of making thofe precepts, duties, and notions, fo [Dial. V.] MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. 233 called, become reverenced throughout the world? Would not he be thought weak or infincere, who fhould go about to perfuade people, that he was much in the inter- efts of an earthly monarch; that he loved and admired his government; when at the fame time he (hewed him- felf on all occafions, a moft bitter enemy of thofe very perfons, and methods, which, above all others, contribu- ted moft to his fervice, and to make his dignity known and revered, his laws obferved, or his dominion extended? And is not this what Minute Philofophers do, while they fet up for advocates of God and religion, and yet do all they can to difcredit chriftians and their worfhip? It muft be owned, indeed, that you argue againft chriftianity, as the caufe of evil and wickednefs in the world: But with fuch arguments, and in fuch a manner, as might equally prove the fame thing of civil government, of meat and drink, of every faculty and profefllon, of learning, of eloquence, and even of human reafon itfelf. After all, even thofe of your feci: who allow themfelves to be called deifts, if their notions are thoroughly examined, will, I fear, be found to include little of religion in them. As for the Providence of God, watching over the conduct of human agents, and difpenfing bleflings or chaftifements, the immortality of the foul, a final judgment, and future ftate of rewards and punifhments; how few, if any, of your free-thinkers have made it their endeavor to polTefs men's minds with a ferious fenfe of thofe great points of natural religion! How many, on the contrary, endeavor to render the belief of them doubtful or ridiculous! It muft be owned, there may be found men, that, without any regard to thefe points, make fome pretence to reli- gion: But who can think them in earned? You {hall fometimes fee, the very ringleaders of vice and profane- ncfs write like men, that would be thought to have virtue and piety at heart. This may perhaps prove them incon- F f 234 MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. V.]
fiftent writers, but can never prove them to be innocent. When a man's declared principles and peculiar tenets are utterly fubverfive of thofe things f whatever fuch a one faith of virtue, piety, and religion, will be underftood as mere discretion and compliance with common forms.
Lys. — To fpeak the truth, I, for my part, had never any liking to religion of any kind, either revealed or un- rcvealed: And I dare venture to fay the fame for thofe gentlemen of our -feci: that I am acquainted with, having never obferved them guilty of fo much meannefs, as even to mention the name of <God with reverence, or fpeak with the leaft regard of piety, or any fort of worfhip. There may, perhaps, be found one or two formal preten- ders to enthufiafm and devotion, in the way of natural religion, who laughed at chriftians for publifhing hymns and meditations, while they plagued the world with as bad of their own: But the fprightly men make a jell of all this. It feems to us mere pedantry. Sometimes, in- deed, in good company one may hear a word dropt in commendation of honor and good-nature: But the for- mer of thefe, by Connoiffeursy is always underftood to mean nothing but fafhion: As the latter is nothing but temper and conftitution, which guides a man juft as appe* tite doth a brute.
XXVIII. And after all thefe arguments and notions, which beget one another without end, to take the matter fhort: Neither I nor my friends, for our fouls, could ever comprehend, why man might not do very well, and gov- ern himfelf without any religion at all, as well as a brute, which is thought the fillier creature of the two. Have brutes inftincts, fenfes, appetites, and paffions, to fteer and conducl: them? So have men, and reafon, over and above, to confult upon occafion. From thefe premifes we conclude, the road of human life is fufficiently lighted without religion.
[Dial. V.] MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. 235 Cri. — Brutes having but fmall power, limited to things prefect or particular, are fufliciently oppofed and kept in order, by the force or faculties of other animals, and the fkiil of man, without confcience or religion: But con- fcience is a neceffary balance to human reafon, a faculty of fuch mighty extent and power, efpecially toward mif- chief. Befides, other animals are, by the law of their na- ture, determined to one certain end, or kind of benag, without inclination or means either to deviate or go beyond it. But man hath in him a will and higher principle; by virtue whereof he may purfue different or even contra- ry ends; and either fall fhort of, or exceed the perfection natural to his fpecies in this world; as he is capable, ei- ther by giving up the reins to his -fenfual appetites, of degrading himfelf into the condition of brutes, or elfe, by well ordering and improving his mind, of being trans- formed into, the fimilitude of angels. Man alone, of all animals, hath understanding to know his God. What availeth this knowledge, unlefs it be to enoble man, and raife him to an imitation and participation of the Divinity? Or what could fuch enoblement avail, if to end with this life? Or how can thefe things take effecT:, without religion? But the points of vice and virtue, man and bead, fenfe and intellect, have been already at large canvaffed. What! Lyfic/esy would you have us go back where we were three or four days ago?
Lys. — By no means: I had much rather go forward, and make an end as foon as poflible. But to fave trouble, give me leave to tell you, once for all, that, fay what you can, you (hall never perfuade me, fo many ingenious agree- able men are in the wrong, and a pack of marling four bigots in the right.
XXIX. Cri.— O Lyficles, I neither look for r ligion among bigots, nor reafon among libertines j each kind 23<5 MINUTE PHILOSOPHER. [Dial. V.]