But that was not enough for Binoy and he contrived to keep the subject going with little touches, bringing out manv a detail of his intercourse with Parcsh Babu’s family. All oi these wero not of much moment, but Binoy’s keen interest and Anandamoyi’s ready sympathy, the complete seclusion of the terrace and the deepening shades of the November evening, combined to invest every little point ill that domestic historv with a wealth of immense meaning.
Anandamoyi suddenly said with a sigh: “ How I should love to see Gora marry Sucharita I ” Binoy sat up straight as he said: Exactly what lve often thought, mother! Sucharita would just suit Gora.
“ But can it ever be 'i ” mused Anandamoyi.
“ Why not? ” exclaimed Binoy. “ I’m not at all sure that Gora is not attracted by Sucharita.”
Auandamovi had not failed to notice that Gora was under the influence of some attraction, and had also guessed, from occasional remarks which Binoy had let fall, that the attrac¬ tion proceeded from none other than Sucharita herself. After XXXVIII GORA a low moments’ silence she said: “ What I doubt is whether Sucharita would consent to marry into an < “Jbodox “ The question is, rather,” said Bmoy, ° would be allowed to marry into a Brahmo family. Have you yon,” replied Anandamoyi.
SSZ “frccM1'! ‘it's,Kongh ii the ceremony bo t“fSowcv«'lid you come to hove such “““myftaGon. of course I" answered Ansndnmoyi, ^ But what Gora says U exactly the opposite,” protested B'°° What dees it matter what he says “What over I have learnt comes from Gora all the same • how true man is himself, and how false U the l,is quarrels divide man from man V, hat fter ST/nS'iulws hearts there God men sas « is men to creeds and forms? mother ” said Binoy as “Your words arc honey to me nwttcr, sam he bent to take the dust 01 her feet. Sly day J been fruitful indeed 1 ” CHAPTER XXXVin ^eretp"b"s^ GORA CHAP.
home. The reason of this was, that we were the only two children in the house, and our uncles were so fond of us that we were hardly allowed to put out feet to the ground.
“ When I was eight years old I was married into the well- known Palsha family of Rov Chowdhurics, who were as wealthy as they were high-born. But my fate was not meant to be a happy one, for some misunderstanding arose between my father and my father-in-law over my dowry, and my husband’s people could not for a long time forgive what they regarded as my father’s parsimonioumicss. They used to hurl dark threats at mo, saying: ‘ What if our boy marries again? We should like to sec what their girl’s condition will he then! * “ When my father saw my miserable plight he swore that ho would never marry another daughter of his into a rich family, and that is how a wealthy match was not sought for your mother.
“ In my husband’s home the family was a large one, and when I was only nine years of age 1 hud to help in the cooking for sixty or seventy people. I could never have my own meal until every one had been served, and even then I had only what was left, sometimes nothing but rice, or rice and dal. I used to have my first meal as late as two o’clock and on some days not till almost evening, and then the moment I had finished my own food I had to start cooking again for the evening meal, and not till eleven or twelve o’clock in the night did I get a chance to have my supper. There was no specially appointed place for me to sleep in, and I simply slept with any one who could find a place for me, sometimes without any mattress at all.
“ This neglect to which I was deliberately subjected did not fail to have its cfFcct on my husband as well, who for u long time kept me at a distance.
“ When I reached my seventeenth year my daughter Mono- rama was born. My position became still worse because I had given birth to a mere girl. And yet my little girl was a great joy and comfort to me in the midst of all this humiliation. Deprived of all affection, whether from her father or any ono clso in the house, Monorama became to me an object of caro as dear as life itself.
“ After three, years I gave birth to a boy and then my condition changed for the better, as I attained at length ray due place as mistress of the house. I had never known a mothcr-in-Iaw, and my husband's father died two years after Monorama’s birth. After his death my husband and his younger XXXVIII GORA brothers went to law over the division of the family property, and at length, after much of it had been lost in litigation, the brothers separated.
“ When Monorama became old enough to be married I was so afraid lest I should lose sight of her, that I gave her in marriage in a village called Shimula at a distance of about ten miles from Palsha. The bridegroom was an exceptionally good-looking young man, a regular Karlik.1 His features were as handsome as his complexion was fair, and his people too were well-to-do.
“ Before my doom finally overtook me, providcnco gave me a short taste of happiness which, while it lasted, seemed to make good all the years of neglect and misery I had endured before. Towards the end, I won my husband’s love and also his respect, so that lie would not undertake anything important without first consulting me. But it was all too good to last. *- An epidemic of cholera broke out in our neighbourhood and my husband and son died within four days of each other. God must have kept me alive to teach me that sorrow, which it is unbearable even to imagine, can be borne by man.
“ Gradually I got to know my son-in-law. Who could have thought that such a venomous snake could lie hidden in the heart of that charming exterior? My daughter had never told me that her husband had got into the habit of drinking through the bad company he kept; and when he used to come and wheedle money out of me on various pretexts I felt rather pleased than otherwise, for I had no one else in the world for whom I uccdcd to save.
“ Very soon, however, my daughter began to forbid me to do so, and would caution me, saying: ‘ You are only spoiling him by letting him have money like that. There’s no knowing where he wastes it when once he gets hold of it.’ I thought that Monorama was only afraid of the disgrace he would get into with his own people by taking money from his wife’s relations. And as my folly would have it, I took to giving him in secret the money which carried him on the road to ruin. When my daughter got to know this she came to me in tears and disclosed everything. You can imagine how I then beat my breast in despair! And to think that it was a younger brother of my husband’s whose example and encouragement had been my son-in-law’s undoing!
“ When I stopped giving him money and he began to suspect that it was my daughter who was at the bottom of it, 1 Corresponding to Adonis.
a GORA CHAP.
he gave up all attempts at concealment. He then began to ill-treat Monoram a so cruelly, not hesitating even to insult her before outsiders, that once more I had to go on giving him money without her knowledge, knowing full well that I was only helping him on the road to hell. But what could I do? 1 simply could not bear to have Monorama thus tortured.
“ Then came a day — how well I still remember that day 1 It was towards the end of February. The hot weather had commenced unusually early. We were remarking to each other how the mango trees in the back garden were already laden with blossom. At mid-day a palanquin stopped at our door, out of which stepped Monorama, who, with a smile on her face, came up to me and took the. dust of my feet.
" She replied, still smiling: ‘ Can’t I come to see my mother without having any news to give her? * “ My daughter’s mother-in-law was not a bad sort of person, and the message she had sent was: ‘ Monorama is expecting a child and 1 think it best for her to stay with her mother till her confinement is over.’ I naturally thought that this was the true reason, — how was I to guess that my daughter’s husband had begun beating her again although she was in this condition, and that her mother-in-law had packed her of! in sheer dread of the possible consequences?
“ Monorama, as well as her mother-in-law, thus conspired to keen me in the dark. When I wanted to anoint her with oil or help her when taking her bath, she always made some excuse, — she did not want me to sec the marks of her husband's blows!
“ Several times my son-in-law came round and made a fuss, trying to get his wife to go back with him, for he knew that so long as she stayed with me he would find it diOicult to extort money. But even this ceased in time to be an obstacle for him, and he had no qualms in openly pestering me for money, even irx Monorama’s presence. Monorama herself was firm and forbade me to listen to him. but the fear that his rising wrath against my daughter might overstep all bounds kept me weak.
“ At last Monorama said: ‘ Mother, let me take charge of vour cash,’ with which she took possession of my box and my keys. When my son-in-law found that there was no longer any chance of getting money from me, and that Monorama’s determination could not be broken, he began to press for his wife’s return home. I tried to persuade Monorama, saying: XXXVIII GORA 4 Lot him have what he wants, dear, if only to get nd of him, else who knows to what lengths he may go.’
•* But my Monorama was as firm in some things as she was gentle in others, and she would say: 4 Never, mother, it simply can’t, be done.’..
“ One day her husband came with bloodshot eyes, and said: 4 To-morrow afternoon I’ll have a palanquin sent, and if you don’t let my wife come home, it will be the worse for you, I “ When the palanquin arrived next day, just before evening, I said to ilonorama: 4 It’s not safe, to put it oil now, my dear, but I’ll send some one over to bring you buck again next week.’ But Monorama said: 4 Lot me stay just a while, mother, I can’t bring myself to go to-night. Tell them to come again after a few days.’ 4 My dear,’ I said, if I send the palanquin back again, shall wc be able to control that turbulent husbaurl of yours? No, Monu, you had better go now.’ 4 No, mother, not to-day,’ she pleaded. My father- in-law will be returning by the middle of Phal'jun, I will go e" Nevertheless I still insisted that it would not be safe, and at length Monorama went to get ready, while I got busy over preparing some food for the servants and bearers who had come with the palanquin,— so busy that I did not get the chance to put the finishing touches to Monorama s toilet, or make up some little favourite dainty for her, or even to have a few words with her before she left. Just bc-iorc she stepped into the palanquin, Monorama stooped to touch my feet, and said: 4 Mother— good-bye! ’ 44 1 did not realise then that it was good-bye lor ever! Even to this day my heart is breaking at the thought that she would not go, and I made her. Never in this life will that wound be healed., 44 That very night Monorama died of a miscarriage and, even before the news reached me, her body had been hurriedly and secretly cremated., 44 What can you understand, my dear, about the agony or a sorrow for which there is nothing to be said or done, and which cannot be washed away, even with life-long weeping? Nor were my troubles at an end with the loss of my all.
44 After the death of my husband and my son, my husband a younger brothers cast covetous eyes on my property, lhey knew that after my death it would all go to them, but they had not the patience to wait. I can hardly blame them, lor GORA CHAP.
was it not almost a crime for a wretched woman like myself to remain alive? How can people who have no end of wants be expected to put up with one who has none and yet bars the wav to their enjoyment?
“ So long as Monorama was living I stood firm for my rights, determined not to he taken in by any persuasion, for I wanted to leave my savings to her. But my brothers- in-law could not bear the idea of my saving money for my daughter, for to them it seemed like stealing it from their pockets. There was an old and trusted servant of my husband's named Nilkanta, who was my ally. He would not hear of it if, for the sake of peace, I proposed any kind of compromise with them. ‘ We'll sec,’ he would say, ‘ who can deprive us of our just rights.’
“ It was in the middle of this fight for my rights that Monorama died, and the very day after her death one of my brothers-in-law came to me and advised me to renounce my possessions and take to the ascetic life. * Sister,’ he said, ‘ God evidently does not intend you to live a worldly life. For the days that remain to you why not go to some holy E'lace and devote yourself to religious works? We will arrango or your maintenance.’
“ I sent for my religious preceptor, and asked him: ‘ Tell me. Master, how to save myself from this unbearable suffering which lias corao upon me. I am consumed by au all-cncom- passing fire, I can sco no escape from this anguish whichever way I turn.’
“My Guru took mo to our temple and, pointing to the image of Krishna, said: ‘ Here is your husband, your son, your daughter, your all. Serve and worship Him and all your longings will be satisfied and your emptiness will be filled.’
“ So I began to spend all my time iu the temple and tried to give my whole mind to God. But how was I to give myself unless He took me? Alas, lie has not done so yet!
“ I called Nilkanta and said to him: ‘ Nil-dada, I have decided to give away my life-interest in the property to my brothers-in-law, asking only for a small monthly allowance for myself.’ But Nilkanta said: ‘ No, that cun never be. You are a woman, don't you worry yourself with these business matters.’
But what further need have I of property? ’ I asked.
‘ What an idea! ’ exclaimed Nilkanta. * To give up our legal rights 1 Don’t you dream of doing such a mad thing.’ For XXXVIII GORA [Nilkanta there was nothing greater than one's legal rights. But I was in a terrible quandary. I had come to detest •worldly concerns like poison, and yet how could I distress old [Nilkanta, the only trustworthy friend I had in the world!
“ At length one dav, without Nilkanta’s knowledge, I put any signature to a document. What its meaning was I did •not fully understand, but as 1 had no thoucht of keeping any¬ thing back 1 bad no fear of being cheated. What belonged to my father-in-law, I felt, let his children have.
“ When the document had been registered, 1 called Nilkanta ^and said: * Nil-dada, don't be angry with me, please, I have signed away the property. I have no further need of it.
* What! ’ cried Nilkanta, aghast. ‘ What have you gone and <l°X“ When he read the draft of the document and saw that I really had -given up all my rights, his indignation knew no ibounds, for from the time of bis master’s death his one object :in life had been to preserve this property of mine. AJ1 his thoughts and efforts had been incessantly engaged in this task It had been his one recreation to dance attendance at lawyers’ offices, and search out legal points and hunt up •evidence, so much so, indeed, that he did not find time «•> .attend to his own affairs. When he saw that by a stroke of •the pen of a foolish woman the rights for which he had fought had taken flight, it was impossible for him to brook it. well, well,’ said he, ‘ I’ve done with the affairs of tins estate. I m “ That Nil-dada should go away like this and part from me an anger was to touch the lowest depth of my misfortunes. I called him back and begged him not to go, saying: ‘ L)ada, •don’t be.angry with me. I have some money saved up. Take these five hundred rupees and give them to your dot •when ho gets married, to buy ornaments for his bride, with my blessings.’ ‘ What do I want with more money < cried Nilkanta. ‘ With all my master’s wealth gone, five hundred •rupees will -bo no consolation to me. Let them be! and waying this my husband’s last real friend left me.
« I took refuge in the temple. My brothers -in- 1 aw con¬ stantly pestered me, saying: ‘ Go and live in some holy place, .but I replied: ‘ My husband’s ancestral home is my only holy place. The seat of our family god shall be my place of refuge. ■But it seemed to them intolerable that I should encumber any part of that house with my presence. They had already •brought in -their own furniture and had apportioned the differ- GOKA CI1A1’- ent rooms between themselves. At last they said: * Yoia may take our family god with you if you like, we shall mak<- no objection.’ When I still hesitated, they asked: ‘ How do- you propose to manage about your expenses? ’ “To this I answered: ‘The allowance which you have fixed for my maintenance will be quite sufficient for me.’ But they pretended not to understand: ‘ What do you mean? ’ they said. ‘ There was no word of any allowance.’
“ Then it was that, just thirty-four years after my marriage,. I left my husband’s homo one day, taking my god with me. When X sought Nil-dada, I found that he had already retired to Brindaban.
“ I joined a party of pilgrims going from our village to- Benares, but for my sins I could get no peace even there. Every day I called upon my god, and said: ‘ 0 God, make- Thyself as real to me as were my husband and children.’ But He did not listen to my prayer. My heart is not yet com¬ forted, and my whole mind and body are flooded with tears. Oh my God, how cruel and hard is man’s life!
. “ I had not been to ray father’s home for a single day since the time I had been taken to my husband’s house at the age of eight. I had tried my best to be allowed to go for your mother’s wedding, but in vain. Then I heard the news of your birth, and after that of my sister’s death, but up to the- present time God did not give me the opportunity of taking you, my children, who have lost your own mother, into my arms.
“ When I found that even after wandering about to many places of pilgrimage my mind was still full of attachment, and thirsted for some object of affection, I began to make- inquiries as to your whereabouts. I heard that your father had given up orthodox religion and society, but what difference- could that mako to me? Was not your mother my own sister?
“ At last I discovered where you were living, and came along here with a friend, from Benares. I have heard that Parcsh Babu docs not honour our gods, but you have only to look on his face to know that the gods honour him. It takes more than mere offerings to please God — that I know well enough — and I must find out how Paresh Babu has managed to win Him over so completely.
“ However that may be, my child, the time for me to retire from the world has not yet come. I am not ready to live all alone by myself. When it is His gracious will, I shall be able XXXIX GORA to do so, but in the meantime I fed I cannot bear the idea of living away from you, my new-found children.”
CHAPTER XXXIX Paresh Babd had taken Harimohini into his house while Mistress Baroda was away from home, and had made all arrangements for her to occupy the lonely room at the top of the house, where she could live in her own way and so have no difficulty with her caste observances.
But when Baroda returned home and found her house¬ keeping complicated by this unexpected arrival, she felt angry all over, and made it known to Paresh Babu, in pretty plain terms, that this was too much to expect of her.
‘‘You can bear the burden of the whole family of us, said Paresh Babu, ’* surely, you can also bear with this unfortunate widow as well? ” Mistress Baroda regarded Paresh Babu as being devoid of all practical common sense and knowledge of the world. Having no idea of what would be convenient in domestic matters, she was sure that any step he took of himself would be certain to be the wrong one. But she also knew that, when lie did decide upon taking any step, you might argue with him, or get angry with him, or even dissolve into tears, he would be as immovable as an image of stone. \\ hat could be done with such a man? What woman could get on with one with whom it was impossible even to quarrel when need arose! She felt she would have to admit defeat.
Sucharita was of about the same age as Monorama, and to Harimohini she seemed much the same in appearance. Even their natures were similar, tranquil yet firm. Now and then, when she saw Sucharita suddenly from behind, Harimohini s i One evening when Harimohini was sitting alone m the dark, weeping silently, and Sucharita came to her, Harimohini strained her niece to her bosom, murmuring with closed eyes: “ She has come back, come back to my heart! She would not go, but I sent her away. Could I ever be punished enough for that in this life? But perhaps I have sutfered enough, so now she comes back to me! Here she is, with the same smile on her face. Oh, my little mother, my treasure, my jewel.
and then she fell to stroking Sucharita’s face and kissing her, deluging her with tears.
Whereupon Sucharita also began to sob, and said in a choking voice: “ Auntie, neither did 1 enjoy a mother’s love for long, but now that lost mother of mine, too, has come back. How often, when I had not the strength to call upon God in my sorrow, when my whole soul seemed to be shrivelled up, I have called upon my mother. To-day mother has heard my call and come to me! ” But Harimohini said: “ Don’t talk so, my child, don’t talk so. When I hear you say that, I feel so happy that I am afraid! 0 God, don’t rob me of this too. I have tried to get rid of all attachment — to make my heart like stone, but 1 cannot — I am so weak 1 Have pity on me, do not strike me again, my God! 0 Radharani! my dear, go away from me and leave me! Do not cling to me so. 0 Lord of my life, my Krishna, my Gopal, what calamity are you preparing for me again! ” “ Auntie,” said Sucharita, “ you will never be able to send me away, say what you like; I am not going to leave you, — never, — I will stay beside you always,” and she snuggled up against her aunt’s breast and lay there like a child.
Within these few days so deep a feeling of kinship had sprung up between Sucharita and her aunt that time could be no measure of it. This seemed to add to Mistress Baroda^s vexation. “ Just look at the girl! ” she exclaimed. “ As if she has never received any care or affection from us! Where was her aunt all these years, I should like to know! We take all the trouble to bring her up from a child and now it's nothing but Auntie, Auutie! Haven’t I always said to my husband that this Sucharita, whom they are all never tired of praising up to the skies, looks as if butter would not melt in her mouth, but there’s no melting her heart, either. All that we have done has been thrown away on her.”
Baroda knew well enough that she would not get Parcsh Babu’s sympathy in her grievance, and not only that, but if she showed her annoyance with Harimohini she would lose the place she had in his respect. This made her all the angrier and determined more than ever, whatever her husband might think, to prove that all understanding people were on her side. So she began to discuss the affair of Harimohini with every member of the Brahmo Samaj, important and unimportant, so as to win them over to her view. There was no end to her complaints as to how bad for the children it was to have the XXXIX G0R.4 example of this superstitious, ill-fated, idol-worshipping woman always before them in the house.
Mistress Baroda’s suppressed vexation not only found expression outside the house, it resulted, inside, in making Harimohini thoroughly uncomfortable. The high-caste servant, who had been told off to draw water for Harimohini’s cooking, would be put on to some other work just when his services were required. If the matter was ever mentioned, Baroda would say: “ Why, what’s the trouble? Isn’t Ramdin there? ” knowing very well that Harimohini could not use the water handled by the low-caste Ramdin. If any one pointed this out to her, she would say: “ If she’s so high caste as all that, what makes her come to a Brahmo home? Wo can’t have all these silly distinctions here, and I for one am not going to allow it.”
On such occasions her sense of duty became almost fierce. She would say: “ The Brahmo Samaj is getting quite lax over social matters — that’s why it’s doing much less lor social uplift than it used to do.” And would go on to make it clear that she, for her part, would lend no countenance to such laxity — no, none whatever, so long as she had any strength left in her! If she was to be misunderstood, that couldn’t be helped; if her own relations were against her, she was pre¬ pared to submit to it! And in conclusion, she did not neglect to remind her hearers that all the saints of the world, who had done anything great, had to endure opposition and insult.
But no amount of inconvenience seemed to tell on Hari¬ mohini, — it appeared, rather, that she gloried in thus being able to rise to the full height of her penance. The hardships due to her self-imposed asceticism seemed to be more in tune with the permanent torture which raged within her. Her’s seemed to be the cult of welcoming sorrow and making it one’s own, so as to win the more real victory over it.
When Harimohini found that the water-supply for her cooking was causing trouble in the family, she gave up cooking altogether, and subsisted only on fruit and milk which she had first offered before her god. Sucharita was grievously exercised over this. Whereupon her aunt, in order to soothe her, said: “ But this is very good for me, my dear. It is a necessary discipline, and gives me joy, not pain.”
“ Auntie,” was Sucbarita’s reply, “ if I stop taking water or food from the hands of lower-caste people, will you allow me to wait on you? ”.
“ You, my dear,” said Harimohini, “ should do as you have g2 GORA CHAP.
been taught to believe — you must not follow a different path for my sake. I have you near me, in my very arms, that is happiness enough for me. Paresh Babu has been like a father, like a guru to you; you should honour his teaching; God will bless you for it.”
Harimohini herself put up with all the petty annoyances inflicted on her by Mistress Baroda so simplv that she Ad not seem to be even aware of them, and when Paresh Babu came to see her every morning with the question: “ Well, and how are you to-day? You are not feeling at all inconvenienced, I hope? ” she would answer: “ No, thank you, I’m getting along very happily.”
But these annoyances tormented Sucharita without respite. She was not the sort of girl to complain. More especially was she careful not to let anything against Baroda escape her in Paresh Babu’s hearing. But though she bore it all in silence, without the least sign of resentment, it had the result of draw¬ ing her nearer and nearer to her aunt, and, eventually, in spite of Harimohini’s protests, she gradually took upon herself to attend to all her aunt's wants.
At last, when Harimohini saw what trouble she was giving Sucharita, she decided to take to cooking her own food again. Whereupon Sucharita said: “ Auntie, I will regulate my conduct exactly as you want me to, but you positively must allow me to draw the water for you. I’ll take no denial.”
“ My dear,” said Harimohini, “ you must not be offended, but that water has to be offered to my god.”
" Auntie! ” protested Sucharita. “ Is your god in orthodox society that he should observe caste? Can pollution affect him too? ” At length Harimohini had to acknowledge herself vanquished by Sucharita 's devotion, and she accepted her niece’s services without reserve. Satish too, in imitation of his sister, began to be seized with the desire to share his Auntie’s food, and finally it reached such a pass that these three combined to form a separate little family in one corner of Paresh Babu’s home. Lolita was the only bridge between the two divisions, for Mistress Baroda saw to it that none of her other daughters should approach Harimohini 's little corner, — she would have prevented Lolita also, if she had dared.
XL GORA CHATTER XL