Gora became impatient to hear what was really the matter.
GORA CHAP.
burning to Anandamoyi with an inquiring look, he said: Xell me, mother, what does this mean? Have I not the right to join in the funeral rites? ” Anandamoyi had, up till this point, been sitting rigid, with her head bowed, but on hearing Gora’s questiou she looked up and gazing steadily into Gora’s eyes, said: " No, my child, you have not.” J " Am I not/ then his son? ” inquired Gora with a start of surprise.
“ No,” replied Anandamoyi.
With the explosive force of a volcanic eruption Gora brought out his next question: “ Mother, are you not mv real mother?” J Anandamoyi’s heart was almost breaking as she answered m a dry tearless voice: “ Gora, my child, you arc the only son of mine. J am a childless woman, but you are more truly my son than a child born from my own body could have been.”
“ Then where did you get me? ” inquired Gora looking towards Krishnadayal again.
“ Jt was during the Mutiny,” began Krishnadayal, “when we were at Etawa. Your mother, in fear of the Sepoys, took refuge one night in our house. Your father had been killed the previous day during the fighting. His name was - ” ‘ There 13 no need to hear his name! " roared Gora. “ I don’t want to know the name.”
Krishnadayal stopped in astonishment at Gora’s excite¬ ment. He merely added: “ He was an Irishman. That very night your mother died after giving birth to you. From that aay you were brought up in our home.”
In a single moment Gora’s whole life seemed to him like some extraordinary dream. The foundations upon which, from childhood all his life had been raised had suddenly crumbled into dust, and he was unable to understand who he was or where he stood. What he had called the past seomed to have no substance, and that bright future which he had looked forward to with such eagerness for so long had vanished completely. He felt as though he were like the dewdrop on tbe lotus leaf which comes into existence for a moment only. He had no mother, no father, no country, no nationality, no lineage, no God even. Only one thing was left to him, and that was a vast negation. What could he hold on to? what work could he undertake? from where could lie begin life again? in what direction could he fix his gaze? and from whence could be gather, gradually day by day, materials for this new work LXXVIII GORA LXXVIII GORA of his? Gora was speechless in the midst of this strange void in which he had lost all sense of direction, and the look on his face made it impossible for another word to be spoken.
At this moment the English doctor arrived in the company of the Bengali physician. The doctor looked towards Gora with ns much interest as he did at the patient, and wondered to himself who this extraordinary young man could be. For Gora still had on his forehead the sacred mark of the Ganges mud, and was still wearing the silk cloth which he had put on after his bath in the river, lie had no shirt on, and his huge body showed through the scanty wrapper that was thrown, over bis shoulders.
At any time before this, on seeing an Englishman, Gora would have felt an instinctive antipathy, but to-day as the doctor was examining the patient he looked at him with peculiar eagerness. Ho was asking himself this question again and again: “ Is this person then the one who is most closely related to me hero? ” After having examined and questioned the patient, the doctor said: “ Well, I don’t sec any very dangerous symptoms- to speak of. There is nothing to be afraid of about the pulse, and there is nothing organically wrong anywhere. With care there is no reason at all why there should be a repetition of the symptoms.”
When the doctor had gone Gora got up without a word, and was about to go, but Anandamoyi came running out from the next room where she had gone on the doctor’s departure, and seizing Cora’s hand, exclaimed: “ Goru, my dear, you must not be angry with me, for that would break my heart.”
“ Why have you kept me in the dark for so long? ” asked Gora. “ There would have been no harm in your telling me.”
“ My child,” began Anandamoyi, taking all tho blame on her own shoulders, “ I have committed this sin because I was afraid lest I should lose you. If in the end that happens, if to-day you leave me, I can blame no one but myself, Gora, but it would bo tho death of me, dearest! ” “ Mother! ” was all that Gora said in reply, but on hearing him utter that ono word, all the pent-up tears which Ananda¬ moyi had been holding back began to flow.
l< Mother, now I must go to Faresh Babu’s,” said Gora.
“ Very well, my dear, you go! ” said Anandamoyi feeling a weight off her heart.
Krishnadayal, in the meantime, had become so greatly alarmed that, although there was no fear of his early death, he GORA CHAP.
had told Gora his secret, and before Gora left the room he said: “ Look here, Gora, I see no need for you to make this matter known to any one. Only walk a little circumspectly, and go on more or less as you have been doing, and no one will be pny the wiser.”
Gora went out without making any reply to this sugges¬ tion for on recollecting that he had no real relationship with Krishnndayal he felt a great relief.
Mohim had not been able to absent himself from his offico without giving any intimation, so, when he had made all the necessary arrangements for the doctors and treatment of his father, he had gone to the office and obtained leave. He was on his way back home when lie met Gora coming out of the house.
“ Where are you off to? ” asked Mohim.
“ The news is good,” said Gora. “ The doctor has been and says there is no danger.”
“ What a mercy! ” exclaimed Mohim, much relieved. “ The day after to-morrow is the day on which Soshimukhi is to be married. So, Gora, you must make things ready a little! And look here, you will have to warn Binoy beforehand, so that he may not turn up here on that day. Abinash is a very strict Hindu— he specially mentioned that no such people were to be invited to the wedding. And there is one other thing I want to say, brother. The head sahib from my office has been invited, so don’t you go and drive him off with blows! You won’t have to do much, just nod your head and say, ‘ Good evening, Sir.’ There is nothing against that in your scriptures. If you like you can get a special injunction from the pandits to make sure. You should understand, my boy, that they are the ruling class, there is nothing derogatory in your lowering your pride a little before them I ” Without making any reply to Mohim’s remarks Gora went off.
CHAPTER LXXIX Jcst as Sucharita was trying to conceal her tears by busying herself over the trunk, the servant arrived with the news that Gourmohan Babu had called. Quickly drying her eyes she put aside her work of packing just as Gora entered the room.
The Ganges mark was still on his forehead, and he was still LXXIX GOEA wearing liis silk cloth. He had not given a thought to his personal appearance, and had come dressed in a fashion such as no one would ordinarily think of paying a call in. Suohanta remembered the dress he had been wearing when he paid lus first call at their house. She knew that on that day he had come in full war apparel, and she wondered whether this too was his fighting dress!
Gora, when he came in, knelt down before Paresh Babu and putting his head on the floor took the dust of his feet. Paresh Babu moved aside in distress, and lifting hint up, exclaimed: Come, come, my child, come and sit down! ” “ Paresh Babu, I havo now no more ties! ” cried Gora.
“ what ties? ” inquired Paresh Babu in astonishment.
“ I am not a Hindu! ” explained Gora.
“ Not a Hindu! ” cried Paresh Babu.
“ No, I am not a Hindu,” continued Gora. “ To-day I have been told that I was a foundling at the time of the Mutiny— my father was an Irishman! Prom one end of India to the other the doors of every temple arc to-day closed against me— to-day in the whole country there is no seat for me at any Parcab Babu and Sucharita were both so dumbfounded that thev were not able to make any remark.
“ To-day I am free, Paresh Babu! exclaimed Gora. I need no longer fear being contaminated or becoming an out- caste— I shall not now have to look on the ground at every step to preserve my purity.”
Sucharita gave one long look at Gora’s glowing face, as he continued: “ Paresh Babu, ro long I have been trying to realise India with my whole life— I was finding obstacles at every turn— and day and night I have been trying always to make these obstacles objects of devotion. And in order to make that devotion firm in its foundations I have not been able to do any other work— that was my one and only task. For that reason every time I have come face to face with the real India I have turned back in fear — shaping an India with my unchanging and uncritical thought I have all this time been struggling against everything around me in my efforts to preserve my faith whole and entire in that impregnable fortress! To-day in a* single moment that fortress of my own creation has vanished like a dream, and I, having got absolute freedom, suddenly find myself standing in the midst of a vast truth! All that is good or evil in India, til her joys and sorrows, all her wisdom and follies, have come in their fulness GORA CHAP.
GORA CHAP.
close to my heart. Now I have truly the right to serve her, for the real field of labour is spread out before me— it is not a creation of my own imagination — it is the actual field of welfare for the three hundred millions of India’s children! ” This newly acquired experience of Gora’s made him speak with such an intense enthusiasm that Paresh Babu became quite agitated, and was unable to remain seated. He got up from his chair and stood as Gora went on: “ Can you follow what it is that I am trying to say? That, which day and night I have been longing for but which I could not be, to-day at last I have becomo. To-day I am really an Indian! In me there is no longer any opposition between Hindu, Mussulman, and Christian. To-day overy caste in India is my caste, the food of all is my food! Look here, I have wandered through many parts of Bengal, and havo accepted hospitality in the lowest village homes— do not. think that I hove merely lectured before city audiences— but I have never been able to take my scat beside all equally — all these days I have been carrying aoout with me an unseen gulf of separation which I have never been able to cross over! Therefore in my mind there was a kind of void, which I tried by various devices to ignore. I tried to make that emptiness, look more beautiful by decorating it with all kinds of artistic work. Because I loved India better than life itself I was quite unable to bear the least criticism of that part of it which I had got to know. Now that I have been delivered from those fruitless attempts at inventing such useless decorations I feel, Paresh Babu, that I am alive again! ” “ When we obtain what is true,” observed Paresh Babu, “ then our soul gets satisfaction even in its incompleteness and imperfections — we do not even wish to dress it up in materials- which arc false."
“ See here, Paresh Babu,” said Gora, “ last night I prayed to God that I might this morning enter into a new life! I asked that anything that had been false or impure, which had enveloped my life from childhood, might be completely destroyed and I might be born anew 1 God did not listen to ray prayer in exactly the way which I had intended— lie has startled me by the suddenness with which He has put into my hands His own Truth! I could never lihve even dreamed that He would wipe out all my impurity in so thorough a manner. To-day I have become so pure that I can never be afraid of contamination even in the house of the lowest of castes' Paresh Babu, this morning, with my heart absolutely bare, 1 LXXIX GORA have prostrated myself wholly at the knees of my India— after so long I have at length fully experienced what is meant by the m°‘t,hGora!’,PsLid Parcsh Babu, “ call us too that we may share with vou the birthright to rest in your mother’s lap!
“ Do vou know,” asked Gora, “ why, on getting niy freedom to-day, the first thing I did was to come to you?
“ Why? ” inquired Paresh Babu. „ •* is you who have the manlram of that freedom, explained Gora, “ and that is why to-day you find no place m anv society. Make me your disciple! To-day give mo the mavlram of that Deity who belongs to all, Hindu, Mussulman, Christian, and Brahmo alike-the doors to wlioso temple arc never closed to any person of any caste whatever— lie who is not merely tho God of the Hindus, but who is the God of India ^A deep and tender expression of devotion lighted up Parcsh Babu’s face, and, lowering his eyes, he stood for some moments • *n ThenCGora turned to Sucharita, who was sitting motionless “ Sucharita,” said Gora with a smile, I am no longer your guru. I make known to you this prayer of mine— take ray hand and lead me to this guru of yours ' and he held out his right hand towards her. Sucharita got up from hqr chair ayd put her hand in bis, then Gora turned towards Paresh Babu, and the two together made their obeisance to him.
EPILOGUE EPILOGUE When Gora returned that evening to his home he found Anandamoyi sitting quietly on the verandah in front ot bis He went up to her and, sitting down in front of her, laid his head at her feet, while Anandamoyi lifted his head and kissed ^‘ Mother, you are my mother!” exclaimed Gora. “The mother whom'l have been wandering about in searcli of was all the time sitting in my room at home. You have no caste, you make no distinctions, and have no hatred— you are only tne image of our welfare 1 It is you who are India!
GO RA “ Mother! ” went on Gora, after a moment’s pause " will you call Lachmiya and ask her to bring me a glass of water? ” I hen, with a gentle voice in which there was a trace of foCraBin^rdam0yi Whispered t0 Gora: “ Gora» let me send 4 Central Archaeological Library NEW DELHI, r-™ _ Autho.
Borrower No -We I Date of Roti GOVT. OF INDIA Department of Archaeology t. NEW DELHI.;.
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