most sure stronghold which never crumbles away nor is betrayed.
Walls of defence must be constructed in our own impregnable reasonings. He used to converse in the gymnasium of Cynosarges (White hound) at no great distance from the gates, and some think that the Cynic school derived its name from Cynosarges. Antisthenes himself too was nicknamed a hound pure and simple. And he was the first, Diocles tells us, to double his cloak and be content with that one garment and to take up a staff and a wallet.
Neanthes too asserts that he was the first to double his mantle.
Sosicrates, however, in the third book of his Successions of Philosophers says this was first done by Diodorus of Aspendus, who also let his beard grow and used a staff and a wallet.
Of all the Socratics Antisthenes alone is praised by Theopompus, who says he had consummate skill and could by means of agreeable discourse win over whomsoever he pleased. And this is clear from his writings and from Xenophon's Banquet. It would seem that the most manly section of the Stoic School owed its origin to him. Hence Athenaeus the epigrammatist writes thus of them Anth.
Pal. ix. 496.: Ye experts in Stoic story, ye who commit to sacred pages most excellent doctrines--that virtue alone is the good of the soul: for virtue alone saves man's life and cities. But that Muse i.e. Erato; cf. Athen. xiii. p. 555 b, Ap. Rhod. iii.
1. that is one of the daughters of Memory approves the pampering of the flesh, which other men have chosen for their aim.
Antisthenes It seems clear that the passage which begins here is not from the same source as that (in § 14) which precedes the epigram. gave the impulse to the indifference of Diogenes, the continence of Crates, and the hardihood of Zeno, himself laying the foundations of their state.
Xenophon calls him the most agreeable of men in conversation and the most temperate in everything else.
His writings are preserved in ten volumes. The first includes: A Treatise on Expression, or Styles of Speaking.
Ajax, or The Speech of Ajax.
Odysseus, or Concerning Odysseus.
A Defence of Orestes, or Concerning Forensic Writers.
Isography (similar writing), or Lysias and Isocrates.
A Reply to the Speech of Isocrates entitled "Without Witnesses."
Vol. 2 includes: Of the Nature of Animals.
Of Procreation of Children, or Of Marriage: a discourse on love.
Of the Sophists: a work on Physiognomy.
On Justice and Courage: a hortative work in three books.
Concerning Theognis, making a fourth and a fifth book.
In the third volume are treatises: Of the Good.
Of Courage.
Of Law, or Of a Commonwealth.
Of Law, or Of Goodness and Justice.
Of Freedom and Slavery.
Of Belief.
Of the Guardian, or On Obedience.
Of Victory: an economic work.
In the fourth volume are included: Cyrus.
The Greater Heracles, or Of Strength.
The fifth contains: Cyrus, or Of Sovereignty.
Aspasia.
The sixth: Truth.
Of Discussion: a handbook of debate.
Satho, or Of Contradiction, in three books.
On Talk.
The seventh volume contains the following: On Education, or On Names, in five books.
On the Use of Names: a controversial work.
Of Questioning and Answering.
Of Opinion and Knowledge, in four books.
Of Dying.
Of Life and Death.
Of Those in the Underworld.
Of Nature, in two books.
A Problem concerning Nature, two books.
Opinions, or The Controversialist.
Problems about Learning.
In the eighth volume are: On Music.
On Commentators.
On Homer.
On Wickedness and Impiety.
On Calchas.
On the Scout.
On Pleasure.
The ninth volume contains: Of the Odyssey.
Of the Minstrel's Staff.
Athena, or Of Telemachus.
Of Helen and Penelope.
Of Proteus.
Cyclops, or Of Odysseus.
Of the Use of Wine, or Of Intoxication, or Of the Cyclops.
Of Circe.
Of Amphiaraus.
Of Odysseus, Penelope and the Dog.
The contents of the tenth volume are: Heracles, or Midas.
Heracles, or Of Wisdom or Strength.
Cyrus, or The Beloved.
Cyrus, or The Scouts.
Menexenus, or On Ruling.
Alcibiades.
Archelaus, or Of Kingship.
This is the list of his writings.
Timon finds fault with him for writing so much and calls him a prolific trifler. He died of disease just as Diogenes, who had come in, inquired of him, "Have you need of a friend?" Once too Diogenes, when he came to him, brought a dagger. And when Antisthenes cried out, "Who will release me from these pains?" replied, "This," showing him the dagger. "I said," quoth the other, "from my pains, not from life."
It was thought that he showed some weakness in bearing his malady through love of life. And here are my verses upon him Anth. Pal. vii. 115.: Such was your nature, Antisthenes, that in your lifetime you were a very bulldog to rend the heart with words, if not with teeth. Yet you died of consumption. Maybe some one will say, What of that? We must anyhow have some guide to the world below.
There have been three other men named Antisthenes: one a follower of Heraclitus, another a native of Ephesus, and the third of Rhodes, a historian.
And whereas we have enumerated the pupils of Aristippus and of Phaedo, we will now append an account of the Cynics and Stoics who derive from Antisthenes. And let it be in the following order.
Diogenes was a native of Sinope, son of Hicesius, a banker. Diocles relates that he went into exile because his father was entrusted with the money of the state and adulterated the coinage. But Eubulides in his book on Diogenes says that Diogenes himself did this and was forced to leave home along with his father.
Moreover Diogenes himself actually confesses in his Pordalus that he adulterated the coinage. Some say that having been appointed to superintend the workmen he was persuaded by them, and that he went to Delphi or to the Delian oracle in his own city and inquired of Apollo whether he should do what he was urged to do. When the god gave him permission to alter the political currency, not understanding what this meant, he adulterated the state coinage, and when he was detected, according to some he was banished, while according to others he voluntarily quitted the city for fear of consequences.
One version is that his father entrusted him with the money and that he debased it, in consequence of which the father was imprisoned and died, while the son fled, came to Delphi, and inquired, not whether he should falsify the coinage, but what he should do to gain the greatest reputation; and that then it was that he received the oracle.
On reaching Athens he fell in with Antisthenes.
Being repulsed by him, because he never welcomed pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore him out. Once when he stretched out his staff against him, the pupil offered his head with the words, "Strike, for you will find no wood hard enough to keep me away from you, so long as I think you've something to say." From that time forward he was his pupil, and, exile as he was, set out upon a simple life.
Through watching a mouse running about, says Theophrastus in the Megarian dialogue, not looking for a place to lie down in, not afraid of the dark, not seeking any of the things which are considered to be dainties, he discovered the means of adapting himself to circumstances. He was the first, say some, to fold his cloak because he was obliged to sleep in it as well, and he carried a wallet to hold his victuals, and he used any place for any purpose, for breakfasting, sleeping, or conversing. And then he would say, pointing to the portico of Zeus and the Hall of Processions, that the Athenians had provided him with places to live in.
He did not lean upon a staff until he grew infirm; but afterwards he would carry it everywhere, not indeed in the city, but when walking along the road with it and with his wallet; so say Olympiodorus, An eminent politician. Pausanias, i. cc.
25, 26, describes a statue of Olympiodorus in the Acropolis, and takes occasion to recount his exploits, how ( c.
288 b.c.) he delivered Athens from the Macedonians ( cf. Plut. Demetr. c. 46). As to the variant *)aqhno/d wros, nothing is known of any Athenian politician of that name. once a magistrate at Athens, Polyeuctus the orator, and Lysanias the son of Aeschrio. He had written to some one to try and procure a cottage for him. When this man was a long time about it, he took for his abode the tub in the Metroön, as he himself explains in his letters.
And in summer he used to roll in it over hot sand, while in winter he used to embrace statues covered with snow, using every means of inuring himself to hardship.
He was great at pouring scorn on his contemporaries. The school of Euclides he called bilious, and Plato's lectures waste of time, the performances at the Dionysia great peep-shows for fools, and the demagogues the mob's lacqueys. He used also to say that when he saw physicians, philosophers and pilots at their work, he deemed man the most intelligent of all animals; but when again he saw interpreters of dreams and diviners and those who attended to them, or those who were puffed up with conceit of wealth, he thought no animal more silly. He would continually say Some of the stories which follow are so much alike that it is charitable to suppose that Laertius drew from more than one collection of the sayings of Diogenes. that for the conduct of life we need right reason or a halter.
Observing Plato one day at a costly banquet taking olives, "How is it," he said, Obviously Favorinus was not the author ( vide infra ) whom Laertius followed here. "that you the philosopher who sailed to Sicily for the sake of these dishes, now when they are before you do not enjoy them?" "Nay, by the gods, Diogenes," replied Plato, "there also for the most part I lived upon olives and such like." "Why then," said Diogenes, "did you need to go to Syracuse? Was it that Attica at that time did not grow olives?" But Favorinus in his Miscellaneous History attributes this to Aristippus. Again, another time he was eating dried figs when he encountered Plato and offered him a share of them. When Plato took them and ate them, he said, "I said you might share them, not that you might eat them all up."
And one day when Plato had invited to his house friends coming from Dionysius, Diogenes trampled upon his carpets and said, "I trample upon Plato's vainglory." Plato's reply was, "How much pride you expose to view, Diogenes, by seeming not to be proud." Others tell us that what Diogenes said was, "I trample upon the pride of Plato," who retorted, "Yes, Diogenes, with pride of another sort."
Sotion, The point of Sotion's version is best seen if for ( sc. patei=n ） we substitute the direct speech to\n *pla/twn a o( ku/wn ( sc. patw= ). however, in his fourth book makes the Cynic address this remark to Plato himself. Diogenes once asked him for wine, and after that also for some dried figs; and Plato sent him a whole jar full. Then the other said, "If some one asks you how many two and two are, will you answer, Twenty? So, it seems, you neither give as you are asked nor answer as you are questioned." Thus he scoffed at him as one who talked without end.
Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, "Good men nowhere, but good boys at Lacedaemon." When one day he was gravely discoursing and nobody attended to him, he began whistling, and as people clustered about him, he reproached them with coming in all seriousness to hear nonsense, but slowly and contemptuously when the theme was serious. He would say that men strive in digging From Epictetus iii. 15. 4 it is evident that competition in digging trenches ( e)n tw=| a)gw=ni paroru/s sesqai ) formed a part of the course of preparation which athletes underwent at Olympia. and kicking to outdo one another, but no one strives to become a good man and true. And he would wonder that the grammarians should investigate the ills of Odysseus, while they were ignorant of their own. Or that the musicians should tune the strings of the lyre, while leaving the dispositions of their own souls discordant; that the mathematicians should gaze at the sun and the moon, but overlook matters close at hand; that the orators should make a fuss about justice in their speeches, but never practise it; or that the avaricious should cry out against money, while inordinately fond of it. He used also to condemn those who praised honest men for being superior to money, while themselves envying the very rich. He was moved to anger that men should sacrifice to the gods to ensure health and in the midst of the sacrifice should feast to the detriment of health. He was astonished that when slaves saw their masters were gluttons, they did not steal some of the viands.
He would praise those who were about to marry and refrained, those who intending to go a voyage never set sail, those who thinking to engage in politics do no such thing, those also who purposing to rear a family do not do so, and those who make ready to live with potentates, yet never come near them after all. He used to say, moreover, that we ought to stretch out our hands to our friends with the fingers open and not closed. Cf.
"let not thine hand be stretched out to receive, and shut when thou shouldest repay." Menippus Menagius, followed by Hübner, on the authority of Ambrosius, reads "Hermippus"; for among the works of Menippus enumerated by Laertius below (§ 101) there is no mention of a "Sale of Diogenes." in his Sale of Diogenes tells how, when he was captured and put up for sale, he was asked what he could do. He replied, "Govern men." And he told the crier to give notice in case anybody wanted to purchase a master for himself. Having been forbidden to sit down, "It makes no difference," said he, "for in whatever position fishes lie, they still find purchasers."
And he said he marvelled that before we buy a jar or dish we try whether it rings true, but if it is a man are content merely to look at him. To Xeniades who purchased him he said, "You must obey me, although I am a slave; for, if a physician or a steersman were in slavery, he would be obeyed." Eubulus in his book entitled The Sale of Diogenes tells us that this was how he trained the sons of Xeniades. After their other studies he taught them to ride, to shoot with the bow, to sling stones and to hurl javelins. Later, when they reached the wrestling-school, he would not permit the master to give them full athletic training, but only so much as to heighten their colour and keep them in good condition.
The boys used to get by heart many passages from poets, historians, and the writings of Diogenes himself; and he would practise them in every short cut to a good memory. In the house too he taught them to wait upon themselves, and to be content with plain fare and water to drink. He used to make them crop their hair close and to wear it unadorned, and to go lightly clad, barefoot, silent, and not looking about them in the streets. He would also take them out hunting. They on their part had a great regard for Diogenes and made requests of their parents for him. The same Eubulus relates that he grew old in the house of Xeniades, and when he died was buried by his sons. There Xeniades once asked him how he wished to be buried. To which he replied, "On my face."
"Why?" inquired the other. "Because," said he, "after a little time down will be converted into up." This because the Macedonians had now got the supremacy, that is, had risen high from a humble position. Some one took him into a magnificent house and warned him not to expectorate, whereupon having cleared his throat he discharged the phlegm into the man's face, being unable, he said, to find a meaner receptacle. Others father this upon Aristippus. One day he shouted out for men, and when people collected, hit out at them with his stick, saying, "It was men I called for, not scoundrels." This is told by Hecato in the first book of his Anecdotes. Alexander is reported to have said, "Had I not been Alexander, I should have liked to be Diogenes."
The word "disabled" ( a)naph/ro us ), Diogenes held, ought to be applied not to the deaf or blind, but to those who have no wallet ( ph/ra ). One day he made his way with head half shaven into a party of young revellers, as Metrocles relates in his Anecdotes, and was roughly handled by them.
Afterwards he entered on a tablet the names of those who had struck him and went about with the tablet hung round his neck, till he had covered them with ridicule and brought universal blame and discredit upon them. He described himself as a hound of the sort which all men praise, but no one, he added, of his admirers dared go out hunting along with him. When some one boasted that at the Pythian games he had vanquished men, Diogenes replied, "Nay, I defeat men, you defeat slaves."
To those who said to him, "You are an old man; take a rest," "What?" he replied, "if I were running in the stadium, ought I to slacken my pace when approaching the goal? ought I not rather to put on speed?" Having been invited to a dinner, he declared that he wouldn't go; for, the last time he went, his host had not expressed a proper gratitude. He would walk upon snow barefoot and do the other things mentioned above. Not only so; he even attempted to eat meat raw, but could not manage to digest it. He once found Demosthenes the orator lunching at an inn, and, when he retired within, Diogenes said, "All the more you will be inside the tavern." When some strangers expressed a wish to see Demosthenes, he stretched out his middle finger and said, "There goes the demagogue of Athens."
Some one dropped a loaf of bread and was ashamed to pick it up; whereupon Diogenes, wishing to read him a lesson, tied a rope to the neck of a wine-jar and proceeded to drag it across the Ceramicus.
He used to say that he followed the example of the trainers of choruses; for they too set the note a little high, to ensure that the rest should hit the right note. Most people, he would say, are so nearly mad that a finger makes all the difference. For, if you go along with your middle finger stretched out, some one will think you mad, but, if it's the little finger, he will not think so. Very valuable things, said he, were bartered for things of no value, and vice versa. At all events a statue fetches three thousand drachmas, while a quart of barley-flour is sold for two copper coins.
To Xeniades, who purchased him, he said, "Come, see that you obey orders." When he quoted the line, Backward the streams flow to their founts, Eur. Med. 410.
Diogenes asked, "If you had been ill and had purchased a doctor, would you then, instead of obeying him, have said "`Backward the streams flow to their founts'"? Some one wanted to study philosophy under him. Diogenes gave him a tunny to carry and told him to follow him. And when for shame the man threw it away and departed, some time after on meeting him he laughed and said, "The friendship between you and me was broken by a tunny." The version given by Diocles, however, is as follows. Some one having said to him, "Lay your commands upon us, Diogenes," he took him away and gave him a cheese to carry, which cost half an obol. The other declined; whereupon he remarked, "The friendship between you and me is broken by a little cheese worth half an obol."
One day, observing a child drinking out of his hands, he cast away the cup from his wallet with the words, "A child has beaten me in plainness of living." He also threw away his bowl when in like manner he saw a child who had broken his plate taking up his lentils with the hollow part of a morsel of bread. He used also to reason thus: "All things belong to the gods. The wise are friends of the gods, and friends hold things in common. Therefore all things belong to the wise." One day he saw a woman kneeling before the gods in an ungraceful attitude, and wishing to free her of superstition, according to Zoïlus of Perga, he came forward and said, "Are you not afraid, my good woman, that a god may be standing behind you?--for all things are full of his presence--and you may be put to shame?"
He dedicated to Asclepius a bruiser who, whenever people fell on their faces, used to run up to them and bruise them.
All the curses of tragedy, he used to say, had lighted upon him. At all events he was A homeless exile, to his country dead.
A wanderer who begs his daily bread. Nauck, T.G.F. 2, Adesp. 284.
But he claimed that to fortune he could oppose courage, to convention nature, to passion reason. When he was sunning himself in the Craneum, Alexander came and stood over him and said, "Ask of me any boon you like." To which he replied, "Stand out of my light." Cf Plut. Alex. c. 14.
Some one had been reading aloud for a very long time, and when he was near the end of the roll pointed to a space with no writing on it. "Cheer up, my men," cried Diogenes; "there's land in sight." To one who by argument had proved conclusively that he had horns, he said, touching his forehead, "Well, I for my part don't see any."
In like manner, when somebody declared that there is no such thing as motion, he got up and walked about. When some one was discoursing on celestial phenomena, "How many days," asked Diogenes, "were you in coming from the sky?" A eunuch of bad character had inscribed on his door the words, "Let nothing evil enter." "How then," he asked, "is the master of the house to get in?" When he had anointed his feet with unguent, he declared that from his head the unguent passed into the air, but from his feet into his nostrils. The Athenians urged him to become initiated, and told him that in the other world those who have been initiated enjoy a special privilege. "It would be ludicrous," quoth he, "if Agesilaus and Epaminondas are to dwell in the mire, while certain folk of no account will live in the Isles of the Blest because they have been initiated."
When mice crept on to the table he addressed them thus, "See now even Diogenes keeps parasites." When Plato styled him a dog, "Quite true," he said, "for I come back again and again to those who have sold me."
As he was leaving the public baths, somebody inquired if many men were bathing. He said, No. But to another who asked if there was a great crowd of bathers, he said, Yes. Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded.
Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, "Here is Plato's man." In consequence of which there was added to the definition, "having broad nails." To one who asked what was the proper time for lunch, he said, "If a rich man, when you will; if a poor man, when you can."
At Megara he saw the sheep protected by leather jackets, while the children went bare.
"It's better," said he, "to be a Megarian's ram than his son." Where the wool was of fine quality, as near Tarentum (Hor. Carm. ii. 6. 10 "pellitis ovibus"), the fleeces were protected by coverings of skin, partly against damage from brambles and partly to preserve the colour (Varro, R.R. ii. 2). We are reminded of what Augustus said when he heard of the execution of Antipater, "It is better to be Herod's pig than his son." To one who had brandished a beam at him and then cried, "Look out," he replied, "What, are you intending to strike me again?" He used to call the demagogues the lackeys of the people and the crowns awarded to them the efflorescence of fame. He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a man." One day he got a thorough drenching where he stood, and, when the bystanders pitied him, Plato said, if they really pitied him, they should move away, alluding to his vanity. When some one hit him a blow with his fist, "Heracles," said he, "how came I to forget to put on a helmet when I walked out?"
Further, when Meidias assaulted him and went on to say, "There are 3000 drachmas to your credit," the next day he took a pair of boxing-gauntlets, gave him a thrashing and said, "There are 3000 blows to your credit."
When Lysias the druggist asked him if he believed in the gods, "How can I help believing in them," said he, "when I see a god-forsaken wretch like you?" Others give this retort to Theodorus. Seeing some one perform religious purification, he said, "Unhappy man, don't you know that you can no more get rid of errors of conduct by sprinklings than you can of mistakes in grammar?" He would rebuke men in general with regard to their prayers, declaring that they asked for those things which seemed to them to be good, not for such as are truly good.
As for those who were excited over their dreams he would say that they cared nothing for what they did in their waking hours, but kept their curiosity for the visions called up in their sleep. At Olympia, when the herald proclaimed Dioxippus to be victor over the men, Diogenes protested, "Nay, he is victorious over slaves, I over men."
Still he was loved by the Athenians. At all events, when a youngster broke up his tub, they gave the boy a flogging and presented Diogenes with another. Dionysius the Stoic says that after Chaeronea he was seized and dragged off to Philip, and being asked who he was, replied, "A spy upon your insatiable greed." For this he was admired and set free.
Alexander having on one occasion sent a letter to Antipater at Athens by a certain Athlios, Diogenes, who was present, said: Graceless son of graceless sire to graceless wight by graceless squire.
Perdiccas having threatened to put him to death unless he came to him, "That's nothing wonderful," quoth he, "for a beetle or a tarantula would do the same." Instead of that he would have expected the threat to be that Perdiccas would be quite happy to do without his company. He would often insist loudly that the gods had given to men the means of living easily, but this had been put out of sight, because we require honeyed cakes, unguents and the like. Hence to a man whose shoes were being put on by his servant, he said, "You have not attained to full felicity, unless he wipes your nose as well; and that will come, when you have lost the use of your hands."
Once he saw the officials of a temple leading away some one who had stolen a bowl belonging to the treasurers, and said, "The great thieves are leading away the little thief." Noticing a lad one day throwing stones at a cross (gibbet), "Well done," he said, "you will hit your mark." i.e. "some day you'll come to the gallows."
When some boys clustered round him and said, "Take care he doesn't bite us," he answered, "Never fear, boys, a dog does not eat beetroot." To one who was proud of wearing a lion's skin his words were, "Leave off dishonouring the habiliments of courage." When some one was extolling the good fortune of Callisthenes and saying what splendour he shared in the suite of Alexander, "Not so," said Diogenes, "but rather ill fortune; for he breakfasts and dines when Alexander thinks fit."
Being short of money, he told his friends that he applied to them not for alms, but for repayment of his due. When behaving indecently in the marketplace, he wished it were as easy to relieve hunger by rubbing an empty stomach. Seeing a youth starting off to dine with satraps, he dragged him off, took him to his friends and bade them keep strict watch over him. When a youth effeminately attired put a question to him, he declined to answer unless he pulled up his robe and showed whether he was man or woman. A youth was playing cottabos in the baths. Diogenes said to him, "The better you play, the worse it is for you." At a feast certain people kept throwing all the bones to him as they would have done to a dog. "You would not see so many bones if I were the dog," was Dante's retort when annoyed by similar attentions at the table of Can Grande. Thereupon he played a dog's trick and drenched them.
Rhetoricians and all who talked for reputation he used to call "thrice human," meaning thereby "thrice wretched." An ignorant rich man he used to call "the sheep with the golden fleece." Seeing a notice on the house of a profligate, "To be sold," he said, "I knew well that after such surfeiting you would throw up the owner." To a young man who complained of the number of people who annoyed him by their attentions he said, "Cease to hang out a sign of invitation." Of a public bath which was dirty he said, "When people have bathed here, where are they to go to get clean?" There was a stout musician whom everybody depreciated and Diogenes alone praised. When asked why, he said, "Because being so big, he yet sings to his lute and does not turn brigand."
The musician who was always deserted by his audience he greeted with a "Hail chanticleer," and when asked why he so addressed him, replied, "Because your song makes every one get up." A young man was delivering a set speech, when Diogenes, having filled the front fold of his dress with lupins, began to eat them, standing right opposite to him. Having thus drawn off the attention of the assemblage, he said he was greatly surprised that they should desert the orator to look at himself. A very superstitious person addressed him thus, "With one blow I will break your head." "And I," said Diogenes, "by a sneeze from the left will make you tremble." Hegesias having asked him to lend him one of his writings, he said, "You are a simpleton, Hegesias; you do not choose painted figs, but real ones; and yet you pass over the true training and would apply yourself to written rules."
When some one reproached him with his exile, his reply was, "Nay, it was through that, you miserable fellow, that I came to be a philosopher." Again, when some one reminded him that the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, "And I them," said he, "to home-staying." Once he saw an Olympic victor tending sheep and thus accosted him: "Too quickly, my good friend, have you left Olympia for Nemea. Shepherd's Bush. " Being asked why athletes are so stupid, his answer was, "Because they are built up of pork and beef." He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, "To get practice in being refused." In asking alms --as he did at first by reason of his poverty-- he used this form: "If you have already given to anyone else, give to me also; if not, begin with me."
On being asked by a tyrant what bronze is best for a statue, he replied, "That of which Harmodius and Aristogiton were moulded." Asked how Dionysius treated his friends, "Like purses," he replied; "so long as they are full, he hangs them up, and, when they are empty, he throws them away." Some one lately wed had set up on his door the notice: The son of Zeus, victorious Heracles, Dwells here; let nothing evil enter in.
To which Diogenes added "After war, alliance." The love of money he declared to be mother-city of all evils. Cf. inf. vii. § 111; 1 Tim.
vi. 10, "The love of money is the root of all evil." Seeing a spendthrift eating olives in a tavern, he said, "If you had breakfasted in this fashion, you would not so be dining."
Good men he called images of the gods, and love the business of the idle. To the question what is wretched in life he replied, "An old man destitute." Being asked what creature's bite is the worst, he said, "Of those that are wild a sycophant's; of those that are tame a flatterer's." Upon seeing two centaurs very badly painted, he asked, "Which of these is Chiron?" (worse man). Ingratiating speech he compared to honey used to choke you. The stomach he called whirlpool engulfing a man's livelihood. Hearing a report that Didymon the flute-player had been caught in adultery, his comment was, "His name alone is sufficient to hang him." To the question why gold is pale, his reply was, "Because it has so many thieves plotting against it." On seeing a woman carried in a litter, he remarked that the cage was not in keeping with the quarry.
One day seeing a runaway slave sitting on the brink of a well, he said, "Take care, my lad, you don't fall in." Seeing a boy taking clothes at the baths, he asked, "Is it for a little unguent ( a)leimm a/tion ) or is it for a new women hanged from an olive-tree, he said, "Would that every tree bore similar fruit." On seeing a footpad he accosted him thus: What mak'st thou here, my gallant?
Com'st thou perchance for plunder of the dead? Hom. Il. x. 343, 387.
Being asked whether he had any maid or boy to wait on him, he said "No." "If you should die, then, who will carry you out to burial?" "Whoever wants the house," he replied.
Noticing a good-looking youth lying in an exposed position, he nudged him and cried, "Up, man, up, lest some foe thrust a dart into thy back!" To one who was feasting lavishly he said: Short-liv'd thou'lt be, my son, by what thou--buy'st. Cf. Hom. Il. v. 40, xviii. 95.
As Plato was conversing about Ideas and using the nouns "tablehood" and "cuphood," he said, "Table and cup I see; but your tablehood and cuphood, Plato, I can nowise see." "That's readily accounted for," said Plato, "for you have the eyes to see the visible table and cup ; but not the understanding by which ideal tablehood and cuphood are discerned."
On being asked by somebody, "What sort of a man do you consider Diogenes to be?" "A Socrates gone mad," said he. i.e. Plato. This anecdote is maino/m enos ou(=tos *swkra/t hs e)sti/n. Being asked what was the right time to marry, Diogenes replied, "For a young man not yet: for an old man never at all." Being asked what he would take to be soundly cuffed, he replied, "A helmet." Seeing a youth dressing with elaborate care, he said, "If it's for men, you're a fool; if for women, a knave." One day he detected a youth blushing.
"Courage," quoth he, "that is the hue of