Gora had thought to himself that there was no reason to be afraid of an image of his fancy, so for the whole of that month he had let his thoughts flow freely in that channel, arguing to himself that it is only of real things that we need to be afraid.
But when, on coming out of gaol, Gora had seen Parcsh Babu his heart was filled with joy. That his joy was not merely because of meeting Parcsh Babu, but with it there was mingled the magic of that image which had haunted his fancy for so many days — all this Gora, at first, did not realise. But gradually it dawned on him, as he was on the steamer going to Calcutta, that Parcsh Babu did not have such a strong attraction for him by reason only of his own virtues.
Now Gora braced himself again for the conflict, saying to himself that he would not be defeated. As he sat on the steamer he determined that again he would go away to a distance, and would never allow his mind to be bound by even the finest of fetters.
GORA CHAif.
GORA CHAif.
It was while in this frame of mind that the argument with Binoy had taken 'place. At this first meeting with his friend after their separation, such a violent altercation would not have occurred if it had not been that Gora was really arguing with himself. It was becoming increasingly clear to him that the issues involved in this argument affected his own honour, and it was for that reason he spoke so vehemently on that day — his vehemence was a necessity for himself. When to-day his violence aroused in Binoy an opposing violence, and when in his mind Binoy was only tearing to pieces all Gora’s arguments, and calling them stupid bigotry, when his whole mind arose in revolt against him, Binoy never dreamed for a moment that Gora would not have been giving him such heavy blows unless he had been dealing those blows at himself also.
After his discussion with Binoy, Gora decided that it would not do to leave the field of battle. He thought, “ If out of fear for my own life I let go of Binoy, then Binoy cannot be saved.”
CHAPTER LVII Gora was deep in thought just then — he regarded Sucharita, not as a special individual, but rather as an idea. The woman¬ hood of India was revealed to him in the figure of Sucharita, and he regarded her as the manifestation of all that was sweet and pure, loving and virtuous in the homes of his Motherland. His heart overflowed with happiness as he saw, seated beside his mother, this incarnation of the grace which shone upon India's children, served the sick, consoled the afflicted, and consecrated with love even the most insignificant. He saw in her a manifestation of the power which never forsakes the meanest of us iu our sorrows or misfortunes, which never despises us, and although entitled to worship offers its devotion to even the most unworthy amongst us. She seemed to him to be the one whose skilful and beautiful hands put the seal of sacrifice on all our works, and to be like some imperishable gift of ever-patient and all-powerful love which God’s hands have bestowed upon us, and he said to himself: “ We have allowed this gracious gift to pass unnoticed — we have put it in the background hidden behind all else— what clearer sign of our misery could there be! ” He thought to himself that it is woman who ought to be called the motherland — she it is who is seated on the hundred-petalled lotus, in the innermost abode lvii GORA 273 of India’s heart — we are her servitors- The misfortunes of the country are insults to her, and it is because we are indifferent to those insults that in these days we have cause to be ashamed of our manhood. _,, Gora was astonished at his own thoughts. He had never realised before how imperfect his perception of India had been so long as he had failed to acknowledge the women of India. What a lack there had been in Gora’s conception of his duty to his country so long as its women were so shadowy and unreal to him! It was as though his idea of duty had power but no life, muscles but no nerves. Gora realised in a single moment that the further we banish woman from us, and the smaller tho place we give to her in our lives, the weaker does our manhood So when Gora said to Suchanta: So you have come. there was more in his words than mere conventional politeness; his salutation conveyed his newly discovered joy and wonder.
Gora bore, some traces of his gaol experiences. He looked less healthy than he had done before, for the gaol food was so distasteful to him that he had practically fasted the whole month he was in prison. His complexion had lost much of the clear brightness it had shown before and he looked Quite pale, and because his hair bad been cropped short the thinness ot his face was even more apparent.
On seeing how thin Gora looked, Suchanta felt a special regard for him awaken in her mind, though with it there was much pain. She wanted to bow down and take the dust of tns feet! Gora was revealed to her like the pure flame of a fare which is blazing so brightly that neither smoke nor fuel is visible, and a devotion mixed with tender compassion so trembled in her breast that she was unable to utter a single word.
Anandamoyi was the first to speak. She said: ^ow 1 understand what happiness mine would have been if I had had a daughter. How can I tell you what a comfort Suchanta has been to me all the time you have been away! Before I got to know her, I did not realise that one of the glories of sorrow is that at such a time we become acquainted with many great and good things. We get distressed because we do not know alwavs in how many ways God has given us consolation for our 'sorrows. You may feel shy, little mother, but I feel compelled to tell in your presence what a happiness you have been to me during these sad days! ” Gora looked towards Sucharita’s shy face with an expression of solemn gratitude, and then addressed' Anandamoyi, saying: GORA CHAP.
“ Mother, she came to share your sorrow iu your days of sad¬ ness, and now she has come to increase your joy ou this day of happiness — those who have large hearts are such disinter¬ ested friends.”
“ Ridi,” exclaimed Binoy, on seeing how shy she was, “ when a thief is caught he gets punished from all sides, and so now that you have been caught by them all you have got to enjoy the fruits. Where can you fly to? I have known you for a long time, but I have never given you away. I have kept silent, though I have known quite well that it couldn’t be concealed for long.”
“ You have kept silent, have you? ” laughed Auandamovi. “ You aro such a silent boy by nature, aren’t you? Why, from the very first day he got to know you ho has been singing your praises, and there has been no restraining him! ” “ Just listen to her, Didi! ” cried Biuoy. “ The witness and proof that I am appreciative of merits and am not ungrateful arc both present! ” “ You are now only singing your own praises 1 ” exclaimed Sucharita.
“ But you will never get me to make known my virtues,” protested Binoy. “ If you want to hear them you must come to mother — you will be dumbfounded — even when I myself hear her I am astonished! If only mother will write my biography I am willing to die young! ” “ Just hear the boy talk 1 ” exclaimed Anandamoyi.
And in this way the first shyness was broken.
At the time of departure Sucharita said to Binoy: “ Won’t you come and see us one day? ” Sucharita invited Binoy to come but she could not ask Gora. He did not understand the real reason and he felt rather hurt. That Binoy found it so easy to mix with every one and took his own place in every society, and Gora could not, had never before been a matter of regret to Gora, but to-day he acknowledged to himself that this lack in his character was a real faib'ng.
CHAPTER LVIII Binoy understood that Sucharita had invited him to discuss with her the proposed marriage with Lolita. It seemed then that although he had given his final decision the matter was ttviti GORA 275 -by no moans finished with! So long as he had life he would .not be able to get free from either party.
Up to now Binoy’s chief anxiety had been how he could •break the news to Gora! By Gora he was not thinking anerely of the individual, for Gora stood for certain ideas— a •certain faith, and he had been a kind of support in life. Binoy’s constant connection with him had become a matter of •habit as well as joy to him, and any sort of quarrel with him •was like a quarrel with himself.
But the blow had fallen and the first feeling of shrinking tfrom the task had disappeared. Binoy had got a certain strength from having told Gora about his connection with Lolita. Bcforo an operation there is no limit to a patient’s fears, but when the knife begins to cut, the sick man sees that «vcn with the pain there is relief also, and what in imagination -seems so serious a matter is not so in reality.
Until then Binoy had not been able to bring himself to :argue even with himself, but now the door for discussion was •open, and in his mind he was constantly thinking of answers to •Gora’s arguments. And objections which it seemed to him likely that Gora might make lie would pick to pieces from •various standpoints. If only he had been able to argue the ■whole matter out with Gora, then, although he might have got .excited, he would have come to some final conclusion, but iBinoy saw that Gora would not discuss matters to the end. 'This made Binoy rather hot — he thought, “ Gora will not understand, and will not explain either, he simply wants to ■use violence. Violence! How can I ever bow my head •before violence? Let what will happen, I am on the side of truth! ” and as he uttered the word truth it seemed to clutch ihold of his heart as though it were a living thing. To make a •stand against Gora it was necessary to side with the strongest [possible party, and so making truth his chief support Biuoy •repeated the word again and again to himself. In fact, •feeling that he had taken refuge in the truth, he began to feel .a great respect for himself, and when he started for Sucharita’s .house he walked with head erect. Whether he felt so con- :fidcnt because he was inclined towards truth, or because his inclination was towards something else, Binoy was not in a •condition to understand.
When he arrived Harimohini was busy cooking, and Binoy stood at the kitchen door, and having put forward a claim for a mid-day meal suitable for a Brahmin’s son, he went upstairs.
Sucharita was engaged with some needlework, and without GORA CHAP.
lifting her eyes from her task she at once broached the subject she had on her mind. She said: “ Look here, Binoy Babu„ where there is no inner obstacle ought we to respect an opposi¬ tion which is purely external? ” "When he had been arguing with Gora, Binoy had taken one- point of view, and now that he was arguing with Sucharita he- took just the opposite. How could any one have guessed now that he had any difference of opinion with Gora?
“But aren’t you making too little of external obstacles? ” inquired Binoy.
"There’s a reason for that, Binoy Babu! ” explained: Sucharita. “ Our obstacles are not exactly external ones, for our society is founded upon religious principles, whereas the- society you belong to is hemmed round by social bonds. Therefore if Lolita has to leave her society it will be a serious- matter for her, whereas for you to leave your society would not be much of a loss to you.”
Then began a discussion between them as to whether or not man’s personal religion ought to be entangled in any society or not..
While this was going on Satish came into the room with a. letter and a newspaper. On seeing Binoy he became very excited and wished that he could by some means change- Friday to a Sunday. In less than no time Satish and his- friend Binoy were talking happily together, while Sucharita. began to read the newspaper and the note which accompanied it, which was from Lolita.
In this Brahmo newspaper there was an item of news which said that in a well-known Brahmo family there had been a fear that a marriage was to take place with a Hindu, but the danger had passed owing to the young man’s unwillingness. With this news as the theme the article went on to compare the- deplorable weakness of the Brahmo family with the firm faith of the Hindu young man, and the comparison was by no means in favour of the Brahmo family.
Sucharita thought within herself that no matter what might be said, Lolita’s marriage with Binoy must be brought about somehow. But she saw it would not be by arguing with this* young man, so she sent a note to Lolita asking her to come- round at once, without any mention that Binoy was there.
Since there was no calendar accommodating enough to make Friday into Sunday, Satish had perforce to leave to get ready for school, and Sucharita too got up to take her bath and begged Binoy to excuse her for a little.
LYIII GORA When the heat of the discussion had cooled down and Binoy- was left alone in the room the inner spirit of his young manhood awoke. It was about nine o’clock, and in the lane there were- few passers-by. The ticking of the small clock on Sucharita » writing-table was the only sound that disturbed the silence. The spirit of the room began to exert its influence over 13inoy s mind, and it seemed as if all the little details of its furnishing became suddenly familiar to him. The neatness of her table, the embroidered chair covers, the deerskin spread beneath the chair, the two or three pictures' hanging on the walls and the row of books bound in red cloth and arranged on a little book¬ shelf, all exercised a deep fascination over his mind. A beautiful mystery seemed to gather m the intenor of this room, and the memory of the discussions which had taken place in its lonely stillness at mid-day, between the two- companions, seemed even now to be hidden there like some shy and beautiful presence. Binoy began to try and imagine how and where each one had sat as they talked, and he fashioned in his mind many pictures of the confidences to- which Paresh Babu had referred when he said: I, have heard from Sucharita that Lolita is not averse to you. Anindescribable current, liko the tender tunc of some wandering- minstrel, began to flow through Binoy s mind, and m the secret places of his heart there arose such a speechless and in¬ expressible feeling, that being neither a poet nor an artist Bmoy became inwardly restless. He felt as if he would be all right’ if he could only do something, but the means of action seemed out of his power. It was as though a veil separated him from what was quite close so that it seemed to be at an. infinite distance, and yet he had not the power to rend the veil.
Harimohini came into the room and asked Binoy if he- would take any refreshments, and when Binoy replied m the- negative she name into the room and sat, down.
So long as Harimohini had been living in Pafesh Babu s- house she had been greatly attracted to Binoy, but, from the time she had come with Sucharita to a home she could call her own, all outside visitors had become very distasteful to her. She had come to the conclusion that Sucharita s recent lapses- in matters of social conduct were entirely the fault of her friends. Even though she knew that Binoy was not a Brahmo- she felt only too clearly that he was not very strict m observing Hindu customs, so she was not so eager nowadays to invite; this son of a Brahmin to partake of the sacred food offered,, to her gods.
GORA CHAP.
To-day in tbe course of her talk she asked Binoy: “ Well, my child, you are the son of a Brahmin, but don’t you observe :thc evening worship? ” “ Auntie,” said Binoy apologetically, “ through learning so many things by heart day and night I have forgotten all •the right texts for evening worship! ” “ Paresh Babu has also learned a great deal,” answered Anandamoyi, " but according to his own religion he always •observes some form of worship both morning and evening.”
“ But, Auntie,” expostulated Binoy, “ what lie does cannot ■be managed by merely learning off a few texts. If ever I become like him I shall do as he does.”
“ So long as you are not like him,” said Harimohini rather ■harshly, “ why can’t you follow your ancestors? Is it good to be neither one thing nor the other? Man after all is a religious being. But neither Ram, nor tho Ganges! How ■can that be? ” She was interrupted at this point by the entrance of Lolita, who on seeing Binoy started violently and asked Harimohini where Sucharita was.
“ Radharani has gone to take her bath,” said Harimohini, -and Lolita, as though she thought some explanation of her 3earance were necessary, said: “ It was Sucharita who 2d me here.”
“ Well, sit down till she comes,” said Harimohini, “ she will he here directly.”
Harimohini had no very kindly feelings towards Lolita •either, for she wanted now to get Sucharita away from her -old surroundings and to keep her entirely under her own •control. Paresh Babu’s other daughters were not so intimate, -but Harimohini was not at all pleased at the way Lolita dropped .in at all times for a chat with Sucharita. She used to try and interrupt their talks by calh'ng Sucharita away on the pretext •of some housework, or she would express her regret that ^nowadays Sucharita’s studies were not making such progress -as they used to do. She would say this in spite of the fact that when Sucharita did give her time to study she would •never forget to say that education was not only not necessary ;for girls but was positively injurious. The real truth was that, -because she was not able to hedge Sucharita round as she •■wanted to do, she was in the habit of blaming sometimes her ■companions and sometimes her studies.
She was not at all pleased at having to sit with Binoy and •Lolita, but because she was angry with them she remained CVIII GORA 6oated. Sbc felt that there was some mysterious relationship between the two, and she said to herself: “ No matter what the rules of your society may be I will never allow this sort of shameless intimacy, all this Christian kind of behaviour, to goon in any house of mine.” • In Lolita’s mind also there was an uncomfortable feeling of opposition. The previous day she had decided that she would accompany Sucbarita to Anandamoyi’s house, but when at came to the point she could not bring herself to go. She felt great respect for Gora but at the same time her hostility towards him was very keen, for she could not get the idea out of her mind that Gora’s attitude towards her was unfavourable in all kinds of ways. She felt this to such an extent that from the very day of Gora’s release from prison her feelings towards Binoy also had undergone a chauge. Previous to that she had been actually priding herself on her influence over Binoy, and the very idea that he was not able to extricate himself from his friend’s clutches made her feel antagonistic towards him for his weakness.
Binoy, on the other hand, the moment he saw Lolita come into the room, began to feel greatly agitated. With regard to Lolita he could never keep his ideas clear, for from the timo their names had been connected together in the gossip of the community his mind would become agitated like a magnetic needle disturbed bv a storm the moment ho saw her.
As for Lolita, she felt very angry with Sucharita when she found that Binoy was seated there. She saw that she had been sent for to straighten out what had become tangled, and in the hope of making the mind of the unwilling Binoy favourable towards her again. So she turned to Harimohini and said: “ Tell Didi that I can’t stay just now, and that I’ll come another time.” And without so much as looking at Binoy she went quickly out of the room.
Now that it was no longer necessary for Harimohini to stay she also got up and went to do some housework.
The look, as of suppressed fire, on Lolita’s face was not uufamiliar tQ Binoy, but it was a long time since he had seen it. He had been feeling free from anxiety as the evil days had apparently passed for good when Lolita had been so ready to produce her fiery arrows against him, but to-day he saw that she had taken out those old weapons from her armoury, and there was not the least sign of rust on them. It is hard enough to bear anger, but for a person like Binoy it was doubly difficult to bear contempt. He remembered with what GORA CHAP; GORA CHAP; dislike she had regarded him when she thought him to be a mere satellite of the planet Gora, and now he felt upset at the thought that to Lolita his hesitation must seem like a sign o£ cowardice. It was unbearable to him that she should be regarding as timidity what was really a hesitation born of a sense of duty, and yet would never give him a single oppor¬ tunity for saying even a couple of words on the subject. To- be cheated of the chance of arguing was to Binoy the greatest possible punishment, for he knew that he could argue, and arrange his words skilfully, and that his power of justifying any particular side in a discussion was no uncommon gift. But whenever Lolita entered into conflict with him she never gave him an opportunity for argument, and to-day again tho opportunity had not occurred.
Seeing a newspaper lying on the table, in his impatience lie snatched it up and suddenly saw that in one place it was marked in pencil. He read the passage and at once saw that he and Lolita were the objects of the discussion and of the comments that followed, and realised that Lolita would be always subjected to this kind of insult from the people of her community. It seemed to him therefore perfectly proper that a spirited girl like her should feel it contemptible on his part to spend his time in arguing fine points of social principle instead of trying to save her from such humiliation. He felt ashamed when lie compared himself with this high-spirited girl and remembered her brave and complete indifference for society.
When Sucharita returned to Binoy, after having taken her own bath and given Satish his morning meal before sending him to school, she found him sitting moody and depressed, so she did not raise the subject of their previous discussion again.
Before he sat down to his meal Binoy omitted the usual ceremonial cleansing, and Harimohini expostulated: “ Binoy, since you don’t observe any of our Hindu customs why don’t you become a Brahmo? ” Binoy, fueling a little hurt, replied: “ The very day I come to regard Hinduism as consisting of prohibitions with regard to touching, and prohibitions with regard to eating, and a lot of other meaningless rules and regulations, I shn/1 become, if not a Brahmo, then a Christian, a Mussalman, or something of that sort. But I have not yet such a lack of faith in Hinduism.”
When Binoy left Sucharita’s house his mind was greatly disturbed, for it seemed as if he were receiving shocks from ail lviii GORA 281 sidc9( and as though he had reached a place that was void and without shelter!
Wondering why he had got into such an unnatural position, he walked slowly along with head bowed in thought, till he came to a square where he took a seat under a tree. Hitherto, whenever in his life any knotty question had arisen, he had taken it, whether great or small, to discuss with his friend, and a solution had always been found, but to-day that way was closed and he had to face it alone.
As the sun's rays began to penetrate to the shade where he was sitting he got up and went out into the road again, but he had not gone far when he suddenly heard Satish 's voice calling: “ Binoy Babu! Binoy Babu 1 ” and a moment later his little friend had hold of his hand. It was Friday, and Satish was on his way home after his school had closed for the week-end.
“ Come along, Binoy Babu,” pleaded Satish, “ come home with me 1 ” “ How can I? ” asked Binoy.
“ Why can’t you? ” persisted Satish.
" How will your people be able to bear me if I go so often? " explained Binoy.
Thinking such an argument entirely beneath his notice, Satish merely said: “ No, come along! ” Satish was quite oblivious of the great calamity which had befallen Binoy in his relationship to their family, and Binov’s heart was profoundly moved at the thought of thus boy’s pure love for him. The completeness of the joy which he had found ' in the heaven of Parcsh Babu’s home was untouched only in this member of the family. On this day of catastrophes it was only in his mind that no cloud of doubt had arisen, and no blow from society had tried to destroy the bond. Putting his arm round the boy’s neck Binoy said: " Come on, little brother, I will take you as far as the door of your house,” and he felt as though in the embrace that he gave Satish, he got a touch of the sweetness which had surrounded the boy from his childhood in the love and affection of Sucharita and Lolita.
The uninterrupted flow of irrelevant chatter which Satish kept up constantly as he walked along sounded intensely sweet in Binoy’s ears, and in this touch with a boy’s sincerity of heart he was able to forget for a little the tangled puzzle of his own life.
To reach Sucbarita’s house they had to pass in front ol Paresh Babu’s, and Paresh Babu’a sitting-room on the first GORA CHAP.
floor could be seen from the street. As they passed in front of that room Binoy could not resist looking up once, and he saw Paresh Babu sitting at his table. It was impossible to see whether he was speaking or not, but Lolita was seated on a stool with her back to the road, close to Paresh Babu’s chair, just like an obedient pupil.
The agitation that Lolita had felt as she left Sucharita’s house had made her so unbearably restless that, finding no other means of chocking her distress, she had gone quietly to Paresh Babu. There was reflected in him such a deep peace that often the impatient Lolita used to go and sit silently beside him in order to control her own restlessness. To-day Paresh Babu had asked: “ What is it, Lolita? ” to which she had replied: “ Nothing, father. But this room of voura is so nice and cool.”
Paresh Babu clearly understood that she had come to him to-day with a wounded heart, for in his own heart too there was a hidden pain. So he began gradually to introduce such- subjects as would help to lighten the burden of the trivial joys and sorrows of the individual life.
At the sight of this confidential talk between father and daughter Binoy for a moment stood still, and to what Satish was saying he paid not the least attention. Satish was pro¬ pounding a very abstruse problem of military tactics. He was inquiring whether it would not be possible to train a troop of tigers and by placing them in the front Hne of battle, between one’s own army and the enemy, make victory certain. Up to this moment the flow of question and answer had been going on unobstructed, and on receiving this unexpected check he looked up at Binoy to see what was the matter. Following the direction of Binov’s glance he saw Lolita, and immediately called out: “ Lolita Didi, Lolita Didi, see, I got hold of Binoy Babu on the way from school and have brought him home.”