When Lolita jumped up from her chair, and Paresh Babu too turned to look into tho street, Binoy became hot all over, feeling that he was responsible for all this to-do. However, he managed to say good-bye to Satish and to go into Paresh Babu ’8 house.
When he got upstairs he found that Lolita was no longer there, and thinking that he must appear like a robber who has broken in upon their peace he took a seat with shy hesitation.
When the usual preliminaries of asking after eaeh other’s health, etc., were over, Binoy began at once: “Since I do not observe the rules and customs of Hindu society with much LV1II GORA devotion, and in fact transgress them almost every day, I have- been thinking that it is my duty to take shelter in the’ Brahmo- Samaj, and my wish is to be initiated by you.”
This wish and. determination had not taken clear shape in. Binoy’s mind even fifteen minutes before, and Paresh Babu. was so surprised that he remained silent for a little. Then ho said: “ But have you considered the question carefully from every point of view? ” “ In this matter there is nothing much to be considered/' answered Binoy. “ It seems to me to be simply a question of right and wrong. It is a perfectly straightforward matter. With the teaching that I have had I cannot sincerely accept as religion a mere state of not transgressing certain rules and customs. It is for this reason that at every stop inconsist¬ encies appear, and so long as I remain connected with those who regard Hinduism with real devotion I shah merely be giving, them shocks, and I have no doubt in my mind that tins is 'cry wrong of me. Without worrying myself at present about' anything else I must be prepared to escape from this wrong,, otherwise I shall not be able to preserve my self-respect.”
Such a long explanation was quite unnecessary for Paresb' Babu, but it was needed by Binoy himself to strengthen his • determination. He felt his breast swell with pride as ho thought of the battle between right and wrong in the midst of. phich he found himself, and in which he, taking the side of right, would have to be victorious. The honour of his man¬ hood was at stake.
“ Arc your opinions at one with those of' the Brabmo- Samaj on matters of religious faith? ” asked Paresh Babu.
“ To tell you the truth,” began Binoy, after a momentV silence, “ there was a time when I thought that I had religious faith, and even used to have quarrels with many people on the subject, but now I realise that in matters of religious faith I am quite undeveloped. I have come to understand' this much from knowing you. No real need of religion has occurred in my life, and because no real faith in it has grown in me I have- up to now only followed the current religion of our society andi upheld it by all sorts of skilful and hair-splitting arguments. I have never felt any need for thinking which religion is true; It have been merely going about trying to prove the truth of that’ religion which would bring me victory. The harder it became- . to prove, the more pride I took in proving it. I can’t say even, now whether I shall ever have a perfectly true and natural ( religious faith, but it is certain that if only.!• get into at GORA CllAl’.
GORA CllAl’.
favourable environment and meet with those who are an -example to me, I shall make progress in that direction. At any rate I shall be freed from the humiliation of going about -displaying, as though it were a flag of victory, the thing which -docs inner violence to my intelligence.”
As ho went on discussing his position with Paresh Babu, ..arguments favourable to his present state of mind began to take shape, and he began to Bpeak with such enthusiasm that ■it appeared as if he had come to this firm decision after having weighed the pros and cons for many days.
Still Paresh Babu pressed him to take a little more time before deciding, which made Binoy think that Paresh Babu had some doubt as to his firmness of purpose. This only made him all the more obstinate, and he again and again Ueclurcd that ho was so sure of himself that there was no possibility ot his being shaken from his determination. There was no mention made by either side of the proposal of marriage with At this point Bordashundari came in on the pretext ot some housework, and when she had finished it she was about to leave the room without having shown any sign that she hail seen Binoy there. Binoy thought that Paresh Babu would certainly call Bordashundari back to tell her this latest piece • of news, but Paresh Babu did not say a word, in fact he did •not consider that the time had arrived for speaking of it. He wanted to keep the matter a secret, but when Bordashundari -showed so rudely her contempt for and anger against lnm, Binoy was not able to restrain himself. He followed her and bending down in obeisance at her feet, said: “ I have come to you to-day to tell you that I want to be initiated into the Brahmo Samaj. I know I am not worthy but my hope is that •you will make me so.”
Bordashundari heard him with astonishment and, turning • back, slowly re-entered the room with a questioning look in .Paresh Babu’s direction...,., “ Binoy has requested me to initiate him, explained iParcsh Babu.
On hearing this Bordashundari felt the pride of one wbo has made a conquest, but why was it that her joy was not unalloyed? ..She had an intense desire to teach Paresh Babu a lesson for once. She had again and again declared, with the assurance • of a prophetess, that her husband would have to repent bitterly ■of his conduct, so when she saw how unmoved Paresh Babu vwas by the agitation which was going on all round him in their Lvni GORA society, she felt an intense inward impatience, and now when all their difficulties seemed to be about to be nicely settled she could not feel pure unmixed delight. So she said with a solemn air: “ If this proposal for initiation had only been made a few days earlier we should not have had to endure so much sorrow or humiliation.”...„ “ This is not a question of our troubles or humiliations,’ observed Paresh Babu. “ Binoy desires to be initiated, that’s “‘Merely initiation? ” questioned Bordashundari.
“ God knows that I am at the root of all your sorrows or humiliations I ” exclaimed Binoy.
“ Look here, Binoy,” said Paresh Babu, “ do not undertake this business of initiation without fully comprehending it. I said to you before that you were not to take any step which would involve serious consequences because you are under the impression that we arc in some social dilemma.”
“ That is true enough,” chimed in Bordashundari, “ but what I contend is that he has no right to sit still doing nothing after having involved us all in such a tangle.”
“If instead of sitting still doing nothing,” interposed Paresh Babu, “ you simply become excited, then the tangle will only become more complicated. It's no use saying that it is one’s duty to be doing something; often enough one’s chief duty is not to do anything at all.”
“ Yes, of course,” complained Bordashundari. “ I'm a fool, and am not able to understand anything. But I want to know what is going to be decided about it — I’ve got plenty of work waiting for me to do.”
“ I would like to be initiated on Sunday, the day after to¬ morrow," said Binoy. “ So if Paresh Babu - ” “ No,” interrupted Paresh Babu, “ I can’t undertake any initiation by which my family can hope for any benefit. You must apply to the Brahmo Samaj direct.”
Binoy at once felt discouraged, for he had not reached the point at which he felt he wanted to apply for initiation in a formal kind of way to the authorities of the Brahmo Samaj— especially seeing that it was that very community which had coupled ’his name with that of Lolita. How could ho have the face to compose a letter of application, and in what languuge could he write it? How would he be able to show his face after the letter had been published in the Brahmo papers? The letter would be read by Gora, and by Anandamoyi also! Be¬ sides that, it would not appear in its full context, and Hindu GORA CHAP.
readers would see only an unexpected eagerness on Binoy’s part to take initiation in the Brahrao Samaj, and this was not the whole truth. Binoy could not hide his shame unless the other facts were also made known.
On seeing that Binoy remained silent Bordashundari became alarmed, and said: “ Oh, I forgot. Of course Binoy Babu does not know any one besides ourselves in the Brahmo Samaj. But never mind, we can make all the necessary arrangements. I’ll send for Panu Babu at once. There’s not much time to lose. Sunday is so near.”
As she finished speaking Sudhir passed the door on his way upstairs to the top floor, and Bordnshundan called after him: “ Sudliir, Binoy is going to be initiated into our Samaj Sudhir was delighted, for m his heart he had always greatly admired Binoy, and the thought of getting him in the Brahrao Samaj filled him with joy. He had always considered it. most unreasonable that a man who could write such excellent English as Binoy, and had such intelligence and education, should not be a member of the Brahmo Samaj. His heart swelled with pride at this proof that men of Binoy’s stamp could not be happy outside his community, and he said: “ But how can it be arranged by Sunday? You won’t be able to make it sufficiently widely known.” For Sudhir’s desire was that this initiation of Binoy’s should be proclaimed before all and sundry as a kind of example.
“ No, no! " exclaimed Bordashundari, “ it can easily be managed by Sunday. Go quickly, Sudhir, and call Panu Babu?’
The unfortunate being, by whose example the excited Sudhir saw the invincible might of the Brahmo Samaj made manifest to all, was feeling very small! That which, at the time of argument and reasoning did not seem of great importance, made him feel very uncomfortable when it showed its face in At the suggestion of Panu Babu being summoned, Binoy got up to go, but Bordashundari did not want to let him off, and pressed him to stay, saying that Panu Babu would be there directly, and he need not wait long.
But Binoy said apologetically: “No, you must excuse me to-dav.”
He felt that if only he could get breathing space, away from the hedge that surrounded him, so as to get time to think things out more clearly, he would feel all right.
LVIII GORA As he got up to go Paresh Babu also got up, and putting n hand on Binoy’s shoulder, said: “ Don’t do anything hastily, Binoy — get some peace and quiet, and think things, over well before deciding anything. Do not take a step which affects your whole life so seriously without fully understanding your Bordashundari feeling inwardly quite exasperated with her husband, said: “ Those who begin a task without thinking things out at the start, who sit still doing nothing till they have got themselves and others into a scrape, when they find that there is no way of escape then say: ‘ Sit down and think '. ’ You may be able to settle down to thinking, but m the meantime our lives are in danger.”
Sudhir accompanied Binoy when he went out of the house, for he was feeling a restlessness like that of some one who wishes to taste the dishes before sitting down to a fine feast. He was keen to take Binoy at once to his friends of the Brahmo community and, announcing the glad tidings, begin the festival of joy there and then, but at the sight of Sudhir’s expansive enthusiasm Binoy became more and more depressed. When Sudhir proposed that the two of them should go together to Panu Babu’s at once, Binoy, without paying the least attention to the suggestion, snatched his hand away from Sudhir’s and fled.
After going some distance he saw Abinash with two or three members of his party tearing along somewhere at a tremendous speed, but they stopped on seeing Binoy, and Abinash exclaimed: “ Good, here is Binoy Babu! Come, Binoy Babu, come along with us! ” “ Where are you going? ’’ asked Binoy.
“ Why, we are going to Kashipore Garden to^make things ready for Gourmohan Babu’s penance ceremony.”
“ No,” protested Binoy, “ I haven’t time to go just now.”
“ What do you mean? ” cried Abinash. “ Do you realise what a great event this is going to be? If it had been a light matter, why should Gourmohan Babu have made such a proposal at all? Nowadays it is necessary for the Hindus to proclaim their own strength, and this penance of Gourmohan Babu’s is going to create a great sensation amongst the people of our country! We are inviting all the celebrated pandits from all over the place, so that this will have its effect on the whole of Hindu society. People will realiso that we are still living 1 They will know that Hinduism is not about to die 1” CORA CHAP.
Managing somehow to escape from Abinash’s wiles. Binov went on his way.
CHAPTER LIX When Haran Babu arrived in response to Bordashundari’s message, he looked very serious for a moment, and then said: “ It is our duty to send for Lolita and discuss this matter On Lolita’s coming, Haran Babu, with portentous solemnity, said: “ Look here, Lolita, a time has come in your life of great responsibility. On one side is your religion, and on the other your inclination, and you will have to make your choice as to which of these you will follow! ” Having said this much he paused to see the effect on Lolita, for he felt that in face of such an example of a passion for righteousness all cowardice must tremble, and all in¬ sincerity be reduced to ashes— this glowing example of spiritual ardour of his was indeed a valuable asset to the Brahmo Sa But Lolita did not answer a word, and as she remained silent Haran Babu went on: “Doubtless you have heard that Binoy Babu, in view of the position you are in, or for some other reason, is expressing his readiness to become a member of the Brahmo Samaj.”
This was news to Lolita, and though she did not express any opinion on it, her eyes became bright, and she remained seated like an imago in stone.
“Paresh Babu,” continued Haran Babu, is, of course, delighted at this obliging willingness of Binoy’s, but it is for you to decide whether or not this is a matter for being pleased at. Therefore in the name of the Brahmo Samaj 1 request to ask yourself this question: Is there any real cause for being happy about this? ’ ”, As Lolita still remained silent, Haran Babu thought that he was making a great impression, so he went on with re¬ doubled enthusiasm: “ Initiation! Is it necessary for me to say what a sacred moment in life the initiation ceremony is? And will you allow such a ceremony to be polluted? it the bidding of happiness, convenience, or personal attach- LIX GORA ment are we going to surrender our Samaj to the path of falsehood, and welcome insincerity as though we honoured it? Tell me, Lolita, are you going to permit yourself to bo connected with this distressing incident in the history of the Brahmo Samaj all your life? ’ Even at this question Lolita remained as she was, silent and motionless, the only change being that she tightened her grasp of the chair on which she was sitting. So Haran Babu went on again: “ I have often observed how irresistible is the force of personal desiro in weakening man’s character, and I know too how one has to pardon man’s weakness, but when that weakness affects not only one’s own life but the lives of hundreds of others and shatters into fragments their only shelter, tell me, Lolita, whether you think that pardonable for a single moment? Has God given us the right to pardon such weakness? ” “ No, no! Panu Babu! ” cried Lolita, leaving her chair and standing in front of him, “ you need not pardon us l We have all become accustomed to your attacks, and probably any forgiveness that you could offer would be absolutely unbear¬ able to every one! ” and with these words she left the room I Bordashundari was very much disturbed at what Haran Babu had been saying, for she by no means wanted to lose Binoy, but all her importunity was in vain, so far as Haran Babu was concerned, and in the end she parted from him in anger. She was in a fix, for she had managed to get neither Parcsh Babu nor Haran Babu on her side. No one could have foreseen her getting into such an inconceivable situation, and her opinion of Ilaran Babu underwent another change.
As for Binoy, so long as his idea of taking initiation had been hazy in his own mind, he bad expressed his determination with great zeal, but when he saw that he would have to make formal application to the Brahmo Samaj, and that Haran Babu would be consulted on the matter, he shrank with horror from this open publicity. He could not think where he could go and with whom he could consult, finding it impossible even to go to see Anandamoyi about it. He did not feel inclined to go for a walk, so he went to his own lodgings and, going upstairs to his bedroom, threw himself on his bed.
Evening came, and when the servant entered with the lamp he was just on the point of sending it away when he heard Satish calling him from downstairs, “ Binoy Babu! Binoy Babu! ” On hearing Satish call him Binoy began to fee) alive again, as though in the middle of a desert he had k2 GORA CHAP.
suddenly got a draught of water. At that moment Satish was the only person in the world who could console him, and all his lassitude disappeared at the sound of his voice. Calling out: “ What, little brother, what is it? ” he jumped from his bed and, without putting on his shoes, rushed downstairs, only to find waiting at the foot of the stairs leading into the little courtyard not only Satish but also Bordashundari. So ho must again face that puzzle, and enter once more into that struggle!
Having taken them upstairs, Bordashundari ordered Satish to go and sit outside on the verandah, but Binoy, to relieve the misery of such a joyless banishment, gave him some picture books and took him into the next room, where there was a lamp.
When Bordashundari opened the attack by saying: “ Binoy, as you do not know anybody in the Brahmo Sainaj, you just write a letter for me to tako to the minister of our church community and I will go round to-morrow morning and make all the necessary arrangements for your initiation on Sunday. You need not worry yourself a single moment longer,” Binoy was so taken aback that he could not answer a word. But, nevertheless, he obediently wrote a letter and handed it to Bordashundari. He felt that no matter what happened he must find a way out from which there was no possibility of return and in which there could be no more question of hesitation.
Bordashundari also made a passing reference to Binoy’s marriage with Lolita.
As soon as she had left him Binoy began to feel a certain disgust, so that even the memory of Lolita struck a harsh note in his mind. It seemed to him as if Bordashundari must have been encouraged by Lolita in this display of unseemly haste. Along with the waning of his own self-respect it was as though his respect for every one else had abated.
Bordashundari, on the other hand, was thinking that on her return home she would have a piece of news to tell which would please Lolita, for she had discovered for certain that her daughter loved Binoy, and that was why there had been such a fuss in the Samaj about their marriage. For this she blamed everybody but herself. For several days she had practically not spoken to Lolita, but now that a way out had been found, largely by her own exertions, she was anxious to make it up with her wayward daughter by telling her the glorious news. Lolita’s father had ruined everything, and GORA even Lolita herself had not been able to guide Binoy aright. From Panu Babu too she had got no assistance. It had been for Bordashundari alone to cut the knot! Yes! Yes! One woman could manage what half-a-dozcn men could not accomplish!.
On reaching home Bordashundari heard that Lolita had gone to bed early, as she was not feeling well. She smiled to herself as she said: “ I’ll soon make her feel all right again! ” and taking a lamp in her hand she went to the bedroom, where she found that Lolita had not yet gone to bed, but was reclining on her sofa, reading. Immediately Lolita sat upright, and asked: “ Mother, where have you been t ” There was a sharpness in the question, for Lolita had iieard that her mother had gone to Binoy’s lodgings with Satisk.
“ I have been to sec Binoy,” answered Bordashundari.
“ Why? ” asked Lolita.
Why, indeed! said Bordashundari to herself somewhat angrily. Lolita can only think of me as her enemy! Un¬ grateful girl!.
“That is why!” exclaimed Bordashundari, thrusting Binoy’s letter out for Lolita to sec. On reading the letter Lolita blushed scarlet, all the more when Bordashundari, m order to exaggerate her success, made out that she had not got the letter out of Binoy without considerable pressure! She could say with pride that, apart from herself, no one would have had the ability to bring this matter to a successful issue!
Lolita, covering her face with her hands, lay down on the sofa, and her mother, thinking that she was shy of showing the intensity of her feelings openly, went out of the room.
Next morning when she went to get the letter, to take it to the Brahmo Samaj, she saw that some one had torn it into pieces I CHAPTER LX x'Iext evening, just as Sucharita was preparing to go to see Parcsh Babu, the servant came to announce that a gentleman had called to see her. “ What gentleman? ” she asked. “ Is it Binoy Babu 1 ” The servant replied that it was not Binoy Babu, but a very tall fair gentleman. At this informa¬ tion Sucharita started, and told the servant to show him upstairs.
GORA CHAP.
Sucharita had not given a thought that day to what she was wearing or how she was wearing it, and when she looked in the mirror she was not at all satisfied with her appearance. But there was no time to change, so giving a few hasty touches to her hair, and adjusting her dress a little, she went into the room. She had forgotten that on her table there were lying copies of Gora’s books, and there was Gora sitting right in front of that table! The books were lying shamelessly before his eyes, and she was unable either to remove them or to cover them up.
“ Auntie has been anxious to meet you for a long time,” said Sucharita. “ I will go and tell her you have come,” and she left the room, for she had not the courage to face Gora alone.
After a few minutes Sucharita returned with Harimohini.
Harimohini had for some time past been hearing from Binoy about Gora’s life, and opinions, and his devoted faith, and occasionally at mid-day she would request Sucharita to read to her from his writings. Not that she was able to comprehend everything quite clearly, but she understood at least that Gora was a strict follower of the Scriptures and his writings were a protest against the loose principles of present- day society. At any rate they were a great convenience to her in encouraging her mid-day r.ap. She felt an admiration for Gora because nothing could be more wonderful and virtuous in her eyes than for an English-educated young man of modern times to take such a firm stand for orthodoxy. When she had first met Binoy in that Brahmo household she had been delighted with him, but gradually as she got to know him better, and especially when she had got a house of her own, the flaws in his conduct began to hurt her. Because she.had relied too much on him she was beginning to reproach him unduly, and she was therefore looking forward to meeting Gora with the greater eagerness.
As soon as she set eyes on him she was astonished. Here was a Brahmin indeed! He was bright like the flame of some sacrificial fire 1 He resembled Mahadcv in his lustrous radiance! She felt such a respect for him that when he stooped to make his protiam to her she shrank back in dismay.
“ I have heard so much about you! ” exclaimed Harimohini. “ But when I see you I wonder how any one could have the face to put you in gaol! ” “ If people like you had been magistrates,” laughed Gora, “then gaols would have been the haunts only of bats and rats I* LX GORA “ No, my child,” replied Harimohini, " there is no lack of thieves and cheats in this world. But was the Magistrate blind? One has only to look at your face to sec that you are not a common person, that you are one of God’s own people. Have you to put people in gaol simply because there is a gaol to be filled? Good gracious! What sort of justice is this? ” “ The magistrates,” explained Gora, “ lest, by looking at men’s faces, they should see the glory of God, do their work by keeping their eye on the Law books. Otherwise do you think they could have taken their food or got any sleep, while committing so many people to floggings, imprisonment, trans¬ portation, and even hanging? ” “ When I have leisure,” said Harimohini, “ I get Radharani to read to me out of your writings, and I have been looking forward for a long time to the pleasure of hearing such words from your own lips. I am a poor foolish woman, and un¬ fortunate into the bargain — I can neither understand nor give ray mind to everything, but I have a firm belief that I shall be able to gain some wisdom from you! ” Gora, without contradicting her, modestly remained silent.
“ You must take something to eat before you go,” went on Harimohini. “ It is a long time since I have been able to entertain a Brahmin boy like you. For to-day you mu3t be satisfied with some sweetmeats, but another day I will invite you to a regular meal.”
Sucharita being left alone, while Harimohini went out to bring the light refreshments, became quite agitated.
“ Bid Binoy come to see you to-day? ” asked Gora abruptly.
“Yes,” replied Sucharita.
“ I have not seen him since,” said Gora, “ but I know what he came about.”
He paused, and Sucharita also remained silent.
“ You arc trying,” went on Gora, “ to make Binoy marry according to your Brahmo rites! Do you think that fair? ” Being slightly goaded by this remark, all signs of shyness or hesitation on Sucharita’s part vanished, and she looked straight at Gora as she replied: “ Do you expect me to say that I do not think marriage according to our Brahmo rites is a good thing? ” “ Be assured,” answered Gora, “ that from you I expect nothing of a trifling character. I look for much more from you than one can expect from ordinary sectarian people. I GORA CHAP.
can say with the most absolute certainty that you do not belong to that class of people who work like coolies to increase the number of adherents to their own sect. I want you to understand yourself in your own way, and not to belittle yourself, misled by other people’s opinions. You must realise in your own mind that you are not merely a member of any special party! ” Sucharita, summoning all her strength of mind to the argu¬ ment, asked: “ Do you not, then, belong to a particular party? ” “ No,” replied Gora, “ I am a Hindu! A Hindu belongs to no' party. The Hindus aro a nation, and such a vast nation that their nationality cannot be limited within the scope of any single definition. Just as the ocean is not the same as its waves, so Hindus are not the same as sects."
“ Then why,” asked Sucharita, “ if you have no party, is the party spirit so rife amongst Hindus? ” "Why,” responded Gora, “ when a man is struck does he defend himself? Because he has life. A stone can bear all sorts of blows quietly.”
“ If,” inquired Sucharita, “ Hindus count as a menace what I regard as the essence of religion, then what ought I to do? Tell me that! ” “ Let me tell you,” said Gora, “ that when that which you consider to be a duty deals such a painful blow to that vast S known as the Hindu nation, then it is time for you to seriously whether there is not some error or blindness in yourself, and whether you have really looked at the matter from every possible point of view. It is not right to resort to violence, taking for granted, through your own habits and indolence, that the beliefs of your society are the only true ones. When a rat gnaws a hole in the hull of a ship it con¬ siders only its own inclinations and convenience; it does not see that the advantage it gains by making a hole in such a huge shelter is very trifling compared with the immense loss it will cause to all. So you too ought to consider whether you are acting in the interests merely of your own sect or of the whole of mankind. Do you realise what the whole of mankind means? What a variety of needs it has, what different kinds of natures, what innumerable tendencies? All men do not stand at the same stage in the path— some are in front of the mountains, some on the shores of the sea, and some at the edge of the plains; though not one of them has the power to remain still, all have to keep moving. Do you want to impose the authority of your own sect upon GORA LX