"If you look at things from the point of view of inner- devotion, then there are very few people who have the right,” replied Gora, “ but do you mean to tell me that what our priest Ramhari has the right to do I have not? ” Krishnadayal suddenly found himself at a loss for an. answer, and he remained silent for a little before replying: “ Look here, to perform puja is the profession of Ramhari’s- caste. The gods do not regard that as a sin, in his profession,, for if you once begin to find fault in that quarter then their occupation would be gone and the work of society would not be able to be carried on. But you have no excuse. What need have you to enter this room? ” It did not sound excessively unreasonable to hear a man like- Krishnadayal saying that it was a fault for a strict Brahmin like Gora to enter the puja room, so Gora accepted this remark without protest. 'Then Krishnadayal went on: “ And one- other thing I have heard, Gora. Is it true thatjou have- invited all the pandits to your penance ceremony? ” “ Yes,” confessed Gora.
“ As long as I am alive I will never allow it! exclaimed: Krishnadayal excitedly..
“ Why? ” asked Gora, his whole mind up in arms.
“ Why indeed! ” cried Krishnadayal. " Did I not tell; you the other day that you could not take part in a ceremony of penance? ” Yes, you did tell me,” assented Gora, but you did not give me any reason.”
" I don’t see why I should give you any reason, answered.. Krishnadayal. " We are your elders and teachers, and must- be respected, and it is a recognised law that without our- permission you cannot take part in any religious ceremonies*.
GORA CHAP.
You know, Y suppose, about the ceremonies that have to bo performed in memory of your ancestors? ” “ Well, what is the hindrance for me there? ” asked Gora in amazement.
“ It is absolutely impossible for you! ” exclaimed Krish- nadayai in an angry voice. “ I will not allow you to perform those ceremonies.”
“ Look here,” expostulated Gora, feeling greatly hurt, 44 this is my own business. I am undertaking this penance •for my own purification, so why arc you uselessly arguing and showing so much anxiety about it? ” " See here, Gora,” replied Krishnadayal, " don’t go and imake everything a matter for argument. Tills is not a subject that can be argued about. There are plenty of things that you have not yet the power to comprehend. Let mo tell you ■•once more — you are completely mistaken in thinking that vou have obtained entrance into the Hindu religion. That as not in your power, for every drop of blood in your veins, your whole body from head to feet, is opposed to it. You •cannot suddenly become a Hindu; however much you may •wish it you haven’t the power. The good work has to com¬ mence with every birth.”
“ I don’t know anything about every birth,” said Gora becoming flushed, “ but cannot I claim the right which the blood of your lineage gives me? ” “ Arguing again! ” cried Krishnadayal. " Aren’t you ^ashamed of contradicting me to my face? You call yourself •a Hindu, but when are you going to get nd of that foreign temper of yours? You must listen to what I say, and put a •stop to all this.”
“ If I don’t perform penance,” said Gora, after remaining silent for a little with head bowed, “ then at Soshiraulcbi’s •wedding I shall not be able to sit with tho rest of the igucsts.”
“ That will be all right! ” exclaimed Krishnadayal eagerly.
What’s the harm in that? We can arrange a separate seat •for you.”
“ And I shall have to keep apart in our community as well,” added Gora.
“ That will be good,” agreed Krishnadayal, and, on seeing •Gorn’s astonishment at his eager approval, he added: “ Just 'look at me, I never take my meals with any one, even if I am (invited. What connection have I got with my community? With your desire that your life should be as uncontarainatcd LXXV GORA as possible it is better to follow the same path. As far as I •can see that would be for your welfare.”
At midday Krishnadayal sent for Abinash, and said to him: “ Why are you all conspiring in leading Gora such a ■dance? ” “ What do you mean? ” asked Abinash. “ It is rather your Gora who is leading us all! It is he who dances least! ” “ But,” expostulated Krishnadayal, “ let me tell you that all this fuss about penance will never do. I can never allow it. You must put a stop to it at once.”
Abinash thought what obstinacy this old man was showing. He knew of plenty of examples in history of tho fathers of great men showing a complete lack of understanding of their sons, and he supposed Krishnadayal belonged to that class ■of fathers. If only, instead of spending his days and nights in the company of a lot of humbug sannyasis, Krishnadayal had learnt a few lessons from his own son he would have got far greater benefit-!
But Abinash was a tactful person, and where he saw that argument would be fruitless, and that there was not much probability of “ moral effect,” he did not lose time in useless discussion. So ho assented: “ Very well, sir, if you do not approve then it can’t take place. But all the arrangements have been made, and even the invitations bave been sent off, and there is no time now to put it off — so let us do one thing, Jet Gora keep away, and we can perform tho eereraony of penance, for there is no lack of sins in our country.” And •with this hope he pacified Krishnadayal.
Gora had never shown much respect for Krishnadayal’s ■words, and to-day also his mind would not assent to obeying him. In that region of life which was greater than the life of society he did not consider himself bound to b*6ten to the prohibitions of father and mother. Still, there was something this time which made him feel uncomfortable all day. A vague idea grew in his mind that there was Borne hidden truth •at tho back of what Krishnadayal had been saying. It was like some nightmare without shape which oppressed him, and which would not leave him. It seemed as if some one were trying to push him aside from every direction at once. His •own loneliness to-day revealed itself, assuming huge pro¬ portions. In front of him was so vast a field of labour, and the work itself was so immense, but there was no one by hia side.
GORA CHAP.
CHAPTER LXXVI It had been decided that as the ceremony was to take place next day Gora should go to the garden house that night, but just as he was getting ready to start Harimohini turned up unexpectedly. On seeing her Gora felt by no means pleased, and he said: “ Oh, you have come — I have to go out immedi¬ ately. Mother too is not here nowadays— if you want to see her, then - ” “ No, thank you,” answered Harimohini, “ I have come to see you. You will have to sit down for a moment — I won’t keep you long.”
Gora sat down, and Harimohini immediately introduced the subject of Sucharita. She explained that she had got a. great deal of benefit from the excellent teaching Gora had given her. So much so in fact that nowadays she would not take water touched by any and everybody, and she was well! disposed towards every one. “ My goodness,” she exclaimed, “ you don’t know what a worry she has been to me. If only you can guide her into the right path I shall be indebted to you for life. May God make you the ruler of a kingdom. May you get a girl of good family worthy of your noble descent, may your house prosper, and may you have good fortune, with wealth and children! ” She then went on to say that Sucharita was getting grown-up and it would not do to delay a single day longer than could bo helped in getting her married. If she had been in a Hindu family she would by now have been the mother of a family of children. She felt sure that Gora would be of the same opinion as herself on the great impropriety of delaying her marriage any longer. Harimohini, after having homo for a long time the intolerable anxiety of trying to solve the problem of Sucharita ’s marriage, had at last, after great efforts and with many humble entreaties, got her brother-in-law Kailash to come to Calcutta. By the grace of God all the serious obstacle® which had caused her so much fear and anxiety had been removed. Everything was settled. No dowry would be expected from the bride, and no objections would be raised on, the score of her previous history — Harimohini had by her own, skilful tactics managed all this— and now just at this moment, amazing to relate, Sucharita had become absolutely obstinate in her contrariness. What her idea was it was impossible for Harimohini to fathom— God alone knew whether some one txxvi GORA 393 iad been influencing her, or whether she was attracted to somebody else.
“ But," she continued, “ I tell you plainly that the girl is mot worthy of you! If she marries and settles in a village no one will know anything about her, and so things will somehow go smoothly. But you live in a city, and if you married her you would never be able to show your face in public again! ” “ What are you talking about? ” exclaimed Gora angrily. ** Who ever told you that I wanted to marry her? ” “ How can I say? " said Harimohini apologetically. ■“When I heard that it was mentioned in the newspaper I nearly died of shame! ” Prom this Gora understood that either Haran Babu, or some member of his party, had been writing about it in the Press, and he clenched his list as he shouted: “ It’s a lie! " “ I know that,” exclaimed Harimohini, startled by the thundering sound of Gora’s voice. “ Now I have a request to make to you which you must accede to. You must come •round at once and see Radharani.”
“ Why? ” inquired Gora.
“ You must explain things to her," answered Harimohini.
Gora’s mind leapt at this proposal and he was ready to go •immediately to Sucharita. His heart said: “ Go and see her to-day for the last time! To-morrow is the day for j'our penanoe — after that you will be an ascetic. To-day there is only this brief part of the night left — you can see her only ior a moment! There surely is no crimo in that, and even if there is, to-morrow all will be consumed to ashes.”
“ Tell me what I have to explain to her? " asked Gora, after a short silence.
“ Nothing more than this," answered Harimohini. “ Accord¬ ing to the Hindu ideals a grown-up girl liko Sucharita ought to get married without delay, and that to get in the Hindu community such a good husband as Kailash is for a girl in her situation an unexpected piece of good fortune.”
Gora’s heart was pierced as with arrows, and when he remembered the man whom he had met at the door of Suchar- ita’s house he felt as though be were being bitten by scorpions. It was unbearable for him to imagine for a single moment such a man gaining Sucharita as his wife. His mind revolted •and he exclaimed to himself: “ No, that can never be.”
It was impossible for Sucharita to have such union with any one else. Her deep still heart, filled to overflowing with GORA CUAP.
the profundity of her thoughts and feelings, could never have revealed itself so fully before auy other man, and never would it reveal itself at auy future time. How wonderful it had been! How marvellous I What an indescribable presence had been. • made manifest in the innermost chamber of the abode of mystery! How often can man have such an experience, and how many men have seen such marvels? The man whose destiny had given him such a deep and true insight into Sucharita’s character — who had felt her presence with his- whole nature — had obtained Sucharita herself! IIow then; could any one else take possession of her?
“ Is Radharani to remain unmarried like this all her days t Is such a fate possible for her? ” exclaimed Hurimohini.
That was true 1 To-morrow Gora was to perform his Ssnance! After that he would have to be a completely pure rahmin! Would then Sucharita all her days remain un¬ married? In addition to that, had any one the right to impose such a state on her for life? Was it possible for a woman t» bear so heavy a burden?
Harimohini went on chattering, but Gora did not listen to what she was saying. He was pondering to himself: “ My father has forbidden me so repeatedly to perform this ceremony of penance— has his prohibition no* value? What I imagine my life to be meant for may be merely my imagination, and not in accordance with my nature. I shall be crippled for life if I try to carry an artificial burden, and by the perpetual! weight of such a load I shall not be able to accomplish any task in life. I begin to sec that my heart is entangled in desire! How can I shift this stone which weighs upon me? My father has somehow discovered that in my heart of hearts I am not a Brahmin, not an ascetic, and for that reason he has forbidden me so firmly.”
Gora decided that he would go to Krishnadayal that very night, and would definitely ask him what he saw in him to make him say that the road of penance was closed to him. If only he could induce him to explain, he would be able to find a way of escape in that direction. Escape!
“ Please wait a little, I’ll be back again directly,” said Gora to Harimohini, and he hurried to his father’s quarters. He felt that there was something known to Krishnadayal by means of which he could get immediate liberation.
But the door of his father’s retreat was elosed, and, even when he had knocked two or three times, it remained shut — no one responded to his knocks. From inside there came the I.XXV1I GORA scent of incense and sandalwood, for to-day Krishnadayal,. with one of his sannya&is, was deeply absorbed in some very- intense method of yoga, and he was in the habit of closing all doors against outside intrusion on such occasions. That whole night no one would be allowed admittance on any pretext.
CHAPTER LXXVII “ No! ” exclaimed Gora to himself, “ my penance is net- to-morrow! To-day it has begun. A greater fire is burning to-day than will bo lighted to-morrow. At the commencement of my new life I have to offer up a great sacrifice, that is why God has awakened in my heart so strong a desire. Other¬ wise, why should such a strange thing have happened? There • was no worldly probability of my becoming intimate with them, and a union of such contrary natures does not happen, in this world in the ordinary course of events. Besides that, no one could even have dreamed that such an overpowering longing would awaken in the heart of a man so indifferent as • myself. Up to now that which X have given to my country has been given too easily, and I ha-ve never been called upon to- offer something which would be a real sacrifice to me! 1 could, never understand before why people felt the least miserliness'* in giving up things for their country. But in such a great renunciation an ordinary gift will not do. Sorrow is needed, for sacrifice, and my new birth can take place only if my very heart is pierced 1 To-morrow morning my ceremonial penance- will be performed before the people of. my community. And. now, on the night before, the Lord of my life has come and.
knocked at the door of my heart. Unless in the depths of my.* soul an innermost penance is performed how can I accepts purification to-morrow? When once I have offered up that gift which is the hardest of all to sacrifice, fully and completely, then I shall become truly poor and sanctified — then I. shall be- a Brahmin.”
When Gora returned to Harimohini' she said, to him: “ Please do come with me just this once! If you will come- and say one word to her then all will be well.”
“ Why should I go? ” protested Gora* “• What relationship have I with her? None, none at all! ” “ Why, she reveres you like a god, and respects-you as herr guru,” replied Harimohini.
GORA CUAP.
Gora’s heart thrilled at these words, but he again protested: “ I don’t see any need for me to go. There is no likelihood of mv ever seeing her again.” _ “ That is true,” Harimohim snuled with pleasure. It is not right to be seeing too much of a grown-up girl like that. But I can’t let you off until my object is accomplished some- ,.how. If I ever ask you to come again then you can refuse."
But Gora shook his head again and again. No more, never .Again! It was all over now. The offering to his God had been made, and he could not let the least spot sully its purity • again. He would not go to see her..
When Harimohini realised that it would be impossible to move Gora she requested him: “ Well, if it is absolutely .impossible for you to go, then do one thing, please, write a Gora shook his head. That was impossible. He couldu t “ Very well,” said Harimohim, write only just two hnes for me! * You are well versed in the Scriptures, 1 have come to • obtain an injunction from you.”
“ An injunction for what? ” asked Gora.
“ la it not the chief duty of a girl of proper age in a Hindu household to marry and take up domestic work? ” explained Harimohini...“ Look here,” said Gora after a moment s silence, don t get me entangled in all this business. I'm not a pandit that I should give injunctions.”...„., “ Why don’t you tell me plainly what it is you ready wish iin your innermost mind?” exclaimed Harimohini sharply. “ In the beginning it was you who fashioned the noose— and now when the time comes for untying it you say: ‘ Don’t • entangle me! ’ What’s the meaning of that? The real truth is you have no wish to make her mind clear.”
At any other time Gora would have become hot with .indignation at this remark, and would never have been able 'to bear even such- a true accusation. But to-day his penance had begun, and he could not be angry. Further, he realised . at the back of his mind that Harimohini had spoken the • truth. He was cruel enough in cutting the strong ties which bound him to Sucharita, but he wanted to keep one fine thread . on some excuse or other, a thread which could not be seen. He was not even yet prepared to sever his connection with •Sucharita fully and finally...But every vestige of miserliness must be removed, ior it LXXVII GORA would never do for him to offer something with one hand while beeping back something with the other.
hand° he t0°k °Ut a PiCCe °f Paper> aDd Wr0te with a firm bold f ‘‘F°r women the path of life’s true realisation is the welfare of all. The world may be full of joy or full of sorrow-the virtuous and chaste woman will accept it all and make it her chief religious duty to give form to her religion in her home."
It would be a good thing if you could add a word or two m favour of our Kailash," suggested Harimohini on reading it.
Harimohini folded up this piece of writing with the utmost care and tying it m the corner of her sari, set out for her T^C'>,Suchanta •*?.staying with Anandamoyi at Lolita s house, and Harimohini felt it would not be convenient to discuss the matter there lest Sucharita should hear Lolita and Anandamoyi saying things against the proposal and should hesitate. Fearing this, she sent a note to Sucharita asking her to come round next day for the midday meal when sh* hod a very important matter to discuss with her. Sho promised to let her return to Lolita’s house the same afternoon Next morning Sucharita arrived with her mind made up to resist firmly for she knew that her aunt was going to raise °5 IT Tr,na£C?gam; Shc was determined to make an end of the whole business by giving a very firm and tonal answer to the proposal.
When she had finished her meal Harimohini began: “ Yes¬ terday evening I went round to see your guru."
bc8“". 10 *“> Had her aunt sent for her only to start insulting Gora again?
anJT tgh°/T * ^ u q\arrel ™th him* 1 was ail 'alone, and I thought to myself, why not go round there and listen to some of his excellent views. In the course of our conversa¬ tion your name was mentioned; and I saw at once that his opimon agreed with mine. He does not regard it as good for girls to remain too long unmarried. In fact he says that according to the Scriptures it is actually unrighteous. It may be all right in European households but not in those of Hindus^ I spoke quite openly about our Kailash, and I found that he took a very sensible view of the situation.”
Sucharita felt ready to die of shame as Harimohini went 398 GORA chap.
on: “ You respect him as your guru! So you must follow bis advice! ” Sucharita remained silent, and Harimohini continued: “ I said to him, * Do please come and spci she won’t listen to what I say.’ But he not see her again — it Is forbidden by our Hindu society.’ Then I said, ‘ Then what can be done? ’ And at last iie wroto something with his own hand to give you. Sec, here it is! ” and she slowly took out the piece of paper from the corner of her sari, and unfolding it spread it out before Sucharita for ner to read.
As Sucharita read it, she felt as if she were suffocating, and sat 6tiff and motionless like a wooden doll.
There was nothing in what was written there which was either new or unreasonable. It was not that Sucharita differed from the opinions which were expressed. But that it should have been sent specially to her through Harimoh ini’s bauds seemed to suggest a meaning that gave her pain from various points of view. Why should this command come from Gora to-day specially? To be sure the day must come for Sucharita too when she would have to marrv — -but why was Gora in such a hurry on her account 1 Had Gora’s work, so far as she was concerned, been absolutely finished? Was she a cause of injury to Gora in the discharge of his duties, or was she an obstacle in the path of his life’s work? Had he nothing more to give to her, ana had he nothing more to hope from her? She at any rate could not think so— she at least was still looking forward along the path. Sucharita tried her best to fight against the intolerable pain which she was fueling in her heart, but she could not get any consolation.
Harimohini gave Sucharita plenty of time to think matters over. She went and enjoyed her usual afternoon nap, and when she woke up and returned she found Sucharita sitting still and silent exactly as she had left her.
“ Radhu,” she said, “ why are you so thoughtful, my dear? What is there in this matter to make you think so deeply? Has Gourmohan Babu written anything wrong? ” “ No,” replied Sucharita gently, “ what ho has written is quite true.”
“ Then, my child, what is the use of delaying matters? ” exclaimed Harimohini, greatly encouraged.
“ No, I don’t want to delay things,” answered Sucharita, “ I will go and sec father for a little.”
“ Look here, Radhu,” objected Harimohini, “ your lather k to her yourself, for replied, ‘ No, I must LXXVII GORA will never wish that you should marry into the Hindu com¬ munity— but your guru, he - ” “ Auntie,” exclaimed Sucharita impatiently, “ why will you talk again and again like that? I’m not going to speak to father about my marriage at all. I just want to see him, that’s all! ” It was only in the close companionship of Paresh Babu that Sucharita could now find consolation.
On reaching his house she saw' that he was packing some clothes in a t runk.
“ Whatever docs this mean? ” asked Sucharita.
“ Mother, I am going for a change to Simla,” laughed Paresh Bnbu, ‘ I am going by to-morrow- morning’s mail.”
Iu this slight laugh of Paresh Balm’s there lay concealed the history of a tremendous revolt which did not remain hidden from Sucharita. In his own home his wife, and outside it all his friends, did not give him a moment’s j»cace, and if he could not get aw-ay somewhere to a distance for a time he would merely become the centre of a whirlpool. Sucharita received a great blow when she saw him packing his own trunk for a journey which was to begiu next day. It was hard for her to think that there was no one of his own family who was there to help him in this task; so making Paresh Babu desist from his labours she first of all threw everything out of his trunk, and then, folding each garment with the greatest care, repacked all his things. His favourite books she packed carefully so that they should not get damaged by being shaken about, aud as she was engaged at this work she gently asked Paresh Babu: ‘ Father, are you going alone? ” “ That won’t be any difficulty for me, Radha! ” assured Paresh Babu, detecting the pain which lay hidden in her question.
“ No, father, I will accompany you,” said Sucharita.
Paresh Babu looked in Sucharita’s face, and she added: Father, I promise not to be a nuisance.”
“ Why do you say that? ” asked Paresh Babu. " When ever have you been a nuisance to me, little mother? ” “ Unless I am near you, father, T can’t get along at all,” urged Sucharita. “ There are many things which I do not vet understand, and unless you explain them to me I shall never’ reach the shore. Father, you tell me to rely upon my own intelligence — but I have not got that intelligence — I have no strength in my own mind. You must take me with vou. father! ” J GORA CHAP.
Saying this she turned round and bent over the trunk, while from her eyes the tears began to fall.
CHAPTER LXXVIII When Gora had given the piece of writing into Harimohini’s hand he felt as though he had sent a letter which meant, tho end of his relationship with Sucharita. But a deed or docu¬ ment is not finished with when it lias merely been written. His heart would by no means give its consent, and although Gora had signed his name to it by the force of his own will¬ power his heart refused to witness it with its signature— it remained disobedient. So disobedient indeed that Gora all but decided to run round to Sucharita that very night! But just as he was about to start he heard the clock of the neigh¬ bouring church strike ten, and he suddenly realised that it was too late for anybody to be paying calls. After that lie lav awake listening to the clock strike each hour, for he had not gone to the garden house that night after all. He had sent a message saying he would go in the morning.
Next morning 'he went to the riverside garden, but where was that strength and purity of mind with which he had resolved to enter upon the ceremony of penance?
Many of the pandits had already arrived, and others were expected. Gora gave them all a warm welcome, and they in their turn referred again and again, in the highest terms, to Gora’s firm devotion to the eternal religion.
Gradually the garden became filled with confusion, and Gora went round superintending everything, but amidst all the uproar and the hurry of his work only one thought kept recurring to his mind, rising from the very depths of his heart. It was as though some one was saying to him, “ You have done wrong! You have done wrong! ” There was no time then for him to thiak clearly and discover where the wrong was — but he was quite unable to smother this deep feeling of his heart. In the midst of all these immense arrangements for the ceremony of penance some enemy, dwelling within the precincts of his own heart, was witnessing against him, sayiug, “ The wrong still remains.” This wrong was not a violation of rules and laws, it was not a blunder against the Shastras, or something opposed to religious practice, — it was a wrong which had been committed within nis own nature. Therefore lxxviii GORA 401 it was that Gora’s whole soul revolted against all these pre¬ parations for the ceremony.
The time for beginning drew near. The place for the service had been made ready with a canopy and bamboo railings. But just when Gora was changing his clothes, after bathing in the Ganges, a disturbance was noticeable amongst the audience. A sort of uneasiness seemed to be spreading on all sides. At last Abinash, with a distraught face, came up to Gora, and said: “ News has just come from your homo, that Krishnadayal Babu is seriously ill. He has sent a carriage for you to return home immediately.”
Gora hurried away at once, but when Abinash wanted to accompany him he said: “ No, you must stay and look after the guests, it will not do for you to leave too.”
When he entered KrislmadayaTs room Gora saw that he was lying on his bed, and Anandamoyi was gently massaging his feet. He looked anxiously at both of them, until Krishna¬ dayal made a sign for him to sit on a chair which had been placed ready for him.
“ How is he now? ” inquired Gora of his mother, when he was seated.
“ He is slightly better,” answered Anandamoyi. “ The doctor sahib has been sent for.”
Soshimukhi and a servant were also there, and Krishnadayal signed with his hand for them to go out. When he saw that there was no one else in the room lie looked silently in Anandamoyi ’s face, and then, turning to Gora, said in a weak voice: “ My time has come, and what I have kept concealed from you for so long I must tell you before I die. I caunot feel free otherwise.”
Gora turned pale, and sat still and silent. For a long time no one said a word. Then Krishnadayal went on: “Gora, at that time X had no respect for our own society — that was why 1 made such a great blunder. And after it had once been committed there was no way back,” and again he became silent. Gora, too, sat in silence without asking any question.
“ 1 thought that it would never be necessary to let you know,” continued Krishnadayal, “ and that things could go on as they were doing always. But now I see that to be impos¬ sible, for after my death how could you take part in my funeral obsequies? ” It was evidently the thought of such a contingency that caused Krishnadayal to wince.